November 11, 2021 at 8:53 am #388445
No no…..I never feel that….but when I saw something like that the thought came to my mind that….how girl and boy fall for each otherNovember 11, 2021 at 9:38 am #388448
Try to not get scared of a thought. A thought is not a physical activity, it’s a mental activity. You can sense physical activity with one of your physical senses: see it, hear it, feel it by touch.. but you can not sense a mental activity: you cannot see or hear or touch a mental activity. What other people think can’t hurt you, and what you think- can’t hurt you or other people. Here is an example: (1) a person picks up a poisonous snake (a physical action)=> person gets stung and gets poisoned (physical effect), (2) a person thinks: I want to pick up this poisonous snake (a mental activity)=> nothing happens.
Is this explanation helpful to you at all, in any way?
anitaNovember 12, 2021 at 11:40 pm #388529
Dear Anita. So what should I do so these thoughts doesn’t effect me or my behavior or change my behavior?November 12, 2021 at 11:42 pm #388530
Dear Anita. So what should I do so these thoughts doesn’t effect me or my behavior or change my behavior? Can you tell why these thoughts effect me so much?November 13, 2021 at 7:22 am #388535
“So what should I do so these thoughts doesn’t effect me or my behavior or change my behavior?“- (1) Understand that there is a difference between a Thought and a Behavior. We humans have Thoughts all day long, most of our Thoughts do not translate into Behaviors. Most Thoughts come and go and nothing happens- because we don’t turn the Thoughts into Behaviors. For example, a person Thinks: I am so angry I could kill someone! But the great majority of people thinking that, do not proceed to take the action (a Behavior) of killing someone,
(2) Understand that a Thought in itself does not have the power to change reality. For example, if you are overweight and out of shape, the Thought: I am slender and muscular! will not change the reality that you are overweight and out of shape. Behavior changes reality (ex. going on a diet and exercising), but Thoughts do not change reality.
“Can you tell why these thoughts effect me so much?“- because there is FEAR in you, a strong fear, and this fear makes your thoughts feel scary. This fear existed before you started having these particular thoughts aka obsession. Your fear is about something else. Can you go back in your mind to before this obsession and remember what your fear is about?
anitaNovember 13, 2021 at 11:33 pm #388554
I literally don’t know about my fear prior to these thoughts….I understand that these thoughts doesn’t have power to change reality….I understand all….but problem is I just can’t shift my focus from these thoughts… whatever I see…. whatever ever do….when I talk to somebody…..these thoughts come to my mind…I just wanted to not to focus on these thoughts…but I don’t how?November 14, 2021 at 7:52 am #388559
Did you try the following every day, for a month or longer: (1) daily aerobic exercise: 30 minutes- 1 hour of fast walking or swimming, (2) guided meditations on the theme of Mindfulness,(3) other Mindfulness exercises, (4) having a Daily Routine that includes 1-3, plus other activities such as studying (if you are a student), working (if you have a job), and other useful activities, so that your day is full and meaningful to you?
anitaNovember 14, 2021 at 11:24 am #388562
I do excercise and yoga… sometimes but not on regular basisNovember 14, 2021 at 11:36 am #388563
I suggest that you exercise on a regular, daily basis, make it a daily routine. Also, consider #2, 3 and 4 in my last post to you, making a busy daily routine for yourself. It can very much help to greatly reduce your obsessive thinking. Give it an honest try, and see how it works for you.
anitaNovember 15, 2021 at 7:42 am #388673
Dear Anita. Do you think person who facing problem of intrusive thoughts can become normal person again as they were before intrusive thoughts?November 15, 2021 at 7:43 am #388674
Do you think person who facing problem of intrusive thoughts can become normal person again as they were before intrusive thoughts?November 15, 2021 at 8:22 am #388676
You can answer your own question at the end of this year, Dec 31, 2021, this way: create a daily routine for yourself like I suggested in my previous two posts above, follow that routine every day for the next month and a half, and on the last day of the year post again and let me know if you feel like a “normal person again”.
anitaNovember 19, 2021 at 5:53 am #388837
Dear Anita I am right now focusing on my studies I have exam within 15 days…..and I started reading book on intrusive thoughts and I also talk to my sister about this…..I am feeling better than that…but the problem is I am starting afraid of being around girls(disclaimer: it’s not like I have something feelings for them) this is happen because of intrusive thoughts,right? and I am constantly feeling guilty and sort of you know shameful…is there is any way not to feel like thisNovember 19, 2021 at 6:37 am #388838
Focus on your exam best you can. Whenever you feel afraid or otherwise distressed, get up, walk around, do a little yoga, make yourself hot tea- distract yourself in one of these ways- and then return to your studies.
“the problem is I am starting afraid of being around girls(disclaimer: it’s not like I have something feelings for them)“- what is it specifically that you are afraid of when you are around girls, what are you afraid could really happen when you are around girls?