Menu

Tired of friendship

HomeForumsRelationshipsTired of friendship

New Reply

This topic contains 26 replies, has 6 voices, and was last updated by  anita 1 week, 1 day ago.

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 27 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #307257

    Barry
    Participant

    On 1 Aug, I texted a friend of mine but I did not get a reply from her. So I presume that she is busy or there is nothing to reply to. From 2 Aug till 4 Aug, I texted her asking her about some matters and she doesn’t reply.

    I decided to give her some space and decided to text her this morning.

    The message that I got from her as followed, the friend as her and me as I:

    Me: You ok? Ignoring text from me and all since last week. Is there something going on?

    I have no idea what I did to offend you

    Her: Nothing uh. I just choose not to reply you.

    No reason. Just meh.

    Me: I am too annoying?

    That’s very sad and hurtful to hear from a friend.

    What is her message behind her reply?

    What should I do next?

    Does she still treat me as friend?

    #307275

    Peggy
    Participant

    Hi Barry,

    No-one can guess what is going on here.  Perhaps something is happening in her life that you don’t know about, perhaps she is just feeling ‘off’ for some reason, perhaps she had other priorities, perhaps she just wants to end the friendship.

    What to do next:  Focus less on this person and more on other friends, hobbies, interests, activities.

    Accept her message:  It’s not you, it’s her – she chose not to reply to you.  (Not very friendly).

    I hope that adequately answers your post even if it is not what you want to hear right now.

    Peggy

    #307285

    Barry
    Participant

    Hello Peggy

    Is it an indication that she wants to end the friendship?

    Should I tell her that I am actually hurt from her harsh remarks?

    I am feeling very hurt. I am not sure if I did anything that might have offended her in any ways.

    #307295

    anita
    Participant

    Dear Barry:

    You referred to this woman as “a friend of  mine” and you referred to a “friendship”.

    But she is not your friend and there is no friendship.

    Can you consider that she is not your friend and there is no friendship?

    anita

    #307303

    Barry
    Participant

    Dear Anita

    I considered her as a friend and consider this as a friendship.

    Things between us has been very rocky but we manage to clear the air out. So I am not sure what I did that have cause her to have such reaction towards me.

    #307305

    anita
    Participant

    Dear Barry:

    You mentioned “her harsh remarks”- can you list her harsh remarks, what she actually said or typed to you that was harsh?

    anita

    #307307

    Mark
    Participant

    Barry,

    People have different ways of communicating. Communicating via text or email does not convey everything that the person feels or thinks. Give her time. Then actually meet with her to clear up any misunderstandings.

    Mark

    #307309

    Barry
    Participant

    Dear Anita

    The harsh remark was: Nothing uh, I just choose not to reply you

    No reason. Just meh

    At first, it wasn’t that harsh for me but when I share it with my friends. My friends are astonished and surprised by her remarks. They describe it as very harsh.

    #307311

    Barry
    Participant

    Hi Mark

    I have no idea what I did to offend her that she reacts in such a manner towards me.

    I was gonna drop her a text saying: I have no idea what I did to make you have such reaction. I sincerely apologised and I will give you some space.

    Will it be better to close things up and leave her be for the time being?

    #307321

    anita
    Participant

    Dear Barry:

    I don’t see these as harsh remarks. I see them as remarks expressing her indifference to you, showing that she doesn’t care how you feel, it is not a priority for her. She expressed that you are of no priority to her. As long as this is the case, she is not your friend. To be someone’s friend, it takes caring how that other person feels, it takes replying to a text within a few hours.

    anita

    #307325

    Barry
    Participant

    Dear Anita

    For the past two years, this “friendship” has been nothing at all just because of the one remark that she said towards me?

    There is no space for her to be angry or even any other reason that is possible?

    #307329

    anita
    Participant

    Dear Barry:

    I didn’t say “this ‘friendship’ has been nothing at all”. I am saying that at the present time it is “off”, not “on”. Maybe it is dormant and will awaken and resume, maybe it is dead. I don’t know.

    anita

    #307331

    Barry
    Participant

    Dear Anita

    Thanks but I have no idea what to do next

    Maybe I did or did not offend her in some ways.

    #307335

    anita
    Participant

    Dear Barry:

    Clearly you care a whole lot about this woman and you are scared the friendship is over. I hope then that it is not over and that the “off” will change to an “on” that will benefit you and her.

    “Maybe I did or did not offend her in some ways”- it may help if you detail how you think that you may have offended her.

    anita

    • This reply was modified 1 week, 2 days ago by  anita.
    #307339

    Mark
    Participant

    Barry

    Judging her remark as harsh as one interpretation. That may or may not be true. You don’t know for sure. It just seems that she does not want to communicate right now. When I deal with people like that Ijust leave them alone.  If they want to get in touch with me then they will.

    Move on with your life with other people.

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 27 total)

You must be logged in to reply to this topic. Please log in OR register.