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It Could Be Far Worse

“If you count all your assets, you always show a profit.” ~Robert Quillen

This weekend someone broke into my apartment and stole everything of significant monetary value that I owned.

They stole my jewelry box, with pieces I got from my boyfriend, his mother, and my sister, after she’d gone through a break-up and wanted to unload a vast collection from her past. They stole several purses in my closet, and confusing it for another, also took my makeup bag.

They took my laptop bag containing my new MacBook, my wallet, my passport, my glasses, and my boyfriend’s old iPhone, which I’ve been using to play games. They grabbed a stack of DVDs, though I can’t remember which.

Lastly, they took my hamper, after emptying it on my bedroom floor, to carry all their loot. Oddly but thankfully, they took nothing of my boyfriend’s.

That night, I’d been at a neighbor’s house with a few friends, peeling lemons to make limoncello. I was supposed to be in New Orleans with my boyfriend and others for Jazz Fest, but I’d backed out after my doctor told me it wasn’t wise, so soon after my surgery.

When I walked into my bedroom after arriving home and saw the clothes on my floor, I wondered why I would have done that. I hadn’t yet noticed the other missing items, and I just assumed if something was awry, I’d done it and forgotten.

Then I started looking around and realized someone had been in my home. My heart started racing, my face went flush, and the tiny hairs on the back of my neck stood up. I wondered if someone was still there, hiding, waiting, or watching.

So I ran downstairs and called my neighbor, who came right over with the others. Thankfully, they did everything for me. They called the police. They called my apartment community’s security. And they even wrote a checklist of things I needed to do, including canceling cards and setting up credit monitoring alerts.

Later that night I realized the burglars hadn’t taken my old laptop, which still had most of my documents and photos saved. The next day I found my passport, after remembering I’d finally realized it wasn’t smart to carry it with me daily.

Suddenly, I felt an immense sense of gratitude because despite what I’d lost, it could have been far worse.

I could have lost everything related to my work. I could have been left with no ID. I could have never bought renter’s insurance. And the worst possible outcome: I could have been home when this happened.

I could have been the victim of a far more tragic crime.

But I wasn’t. I was alive and well, with friends looking out for me. And I had the capacity to do everything on their list—to follow each step one by one and put things back together.

Sometimes when things go wrong it can seem overwhelming to make things right. But the amazing thing is that we usually can. We can put together the pieces. We can do it even more effectively if we stay calm, start with one simple step and remember, eventually, it will be all get done.

I didn’t sleep much on Friday night, and I didn’t feel well on Saturday, when I went to my bank and Lens Crafters for new glasses. But today as I write this on Sunday, I am well rested and I’m here—still alive, still loved, still doing what I love.

Any time we can say that, it’s a beautiful day.

Photo by ayaM MLE

Avatar of Lori Deschene

About Lori Deschene

Lori Deschene is the Founder of Tiny Buddha. She recently launched her Tiny Wisdom eBook Series which includes one free eBook. Follow Lori on Twitter @tinybuddha for inspiring posts and wisdom quotes and don't forget to read the submission guidelines if you'd like to submit a blog post.

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  • http://twitter.com/lori_deschene Lori Deschene

    Yes, I love that quote. It brings me a lot of peace right now!

  • http://twitter.com/lori_deschene Lori Deschene

    I’m glad you’re not in that dangerous neighborhood anymore! It must have been terrifying to know that even people you knew could violate your space in that way.

    I am indeed okay. I’m just glad I still have all my work. I lost some work I did last week, but I redid most of it yesterday. My writing means far more to me than any material possession!

  • http://twitter.com/lori_deschene Lori Deschene

    I think I was just too tired to go through the full range of emotions! I hadn’t slept well the two nights before the break-in, and I didn’t sleep at all that night. Plus, I really felt so grateful for my neighbors. I was just touched beyond words that people went out of their way for me.

    Thanks for the suggestion to check eBay and Craigslist. I’ll give that a try!

  • http://twitter.com/lori_deschene Lori Deschene

    I’m so glad you’ve found the site helpful! I’m not sure if you noticed, but I usually publish a post from a different writer every day. So I didn’t actually write the tunnel post; that one was from a woman named Nikki Di Virgilio.

    It sounds like you’ve been going through a time of great growth and learning. I’m sending you all my love as you continue on that path. Thank you for the well wishes you sent me. I really appreciate your support!

  • Cecilia

    I would say I hope that whoever did that must be in dire need and the he’d used them to good use.  

  • Designred

    I really like your attitude to this invasion of your property.  I too learnt over the years not to attach too much value to “things”.  No-one can ever take from you if you value what is inside your heart.

  • http://www.facebook.com/pamela.picard Pamela Picard

    I’m glad you’re okay, Lori. *phew* Skeery.

  • Tkhudd

    I worked on the north slope in alaska and had to have custom winter gear made, very expensive. When I returned to Anchorage it was stolen from my car. The feeling of violation not a good feeling. On a good note it was all returned by a good person who reminded me we are all leaving here with what we came here with I’m glad you are ok you are loved.

  • shortsmiley1

    Oh my Lori that is so scary and disturbing!  I am so grateful that you weren’t there.  Your spirit is amazing (as usual!) in such a time of turmoil for you.  I will continue to send you good mojo from Colorado! 

  • Lakshmimurali

     Hi Lori,
    So sorry to hear what happened in your apartment. Your attitude and perspective have pulled you through. May you be blessed with good health and love.

    Lakshmi

  • http://www.madlabpost.com/ Nicole/TheMadlabPost

    Lori, what a way to put a useful spin on such a scary weekend. It’s awesome that you are able to tackle this setback with such gratitude for avoiding what could have been and also with such strength to pick up the pieces and put it all back together. It is a lesson in protecting the things that we value while also keeping a good perspective on what we do have (even if we lose those material valuables)…ourselves.

  • http://twitter.com/lori_deschene Lori Deschene

    Thanks so much! That’s wonderful a good person returned it to you. Even when someone tests my faith in people, it helps me to remember many others care.

  • http://twitter.com/lori_deschene Lori Deschene

    Thanks Michelle! I am indeed alright, and I’m putting this behind me.

  • http://twitter.com/lori_deschene Lori Deschene

    Thanks Nicole. Experiences like this definitely puts life in perspective. I’m looking forward to my boyfriend coming home tomorrow. He’s definitely on my list of valuables!

  • http://twitter.com/lori_deschene Lori Deschene

    Thank you so much for the good mojo!

  • http://twitter.com/lori_deschene Lori Deschene

    Thank you Pamela. =)

  • http://twitter.com/lori_deschene Lori Deschene

    I hope so too Cecilia.

  • http://twitter.com/lori_deschene Lori Deschene

    Beautifully written. =)

  • Gaiamoonstar

    From a lady who gave away or sold almost everything of monetary value after a very difficult divorce; including loss of home, job, and car, I understand what it must be like to have what few prized possessions you may have be taken from you.I send you my condolences.  I am confidant that you are a not an extravagant gal, and your things meant something. I recently misplaced a journal, which holds bank account numbers, passwords, and correspondence information. Gratefully,  I left it in a car I was interested in purchasing and it will be returned to me on Thursday. Stuff is just that, stuff. We attach too much to things, it’s our safety and peace of mind which matter more in times such as yours. I am so happy you are safe. namaste

  • Guest

    Thank you for sharing Lori.  Your blog has been a constant inspiration to me to look on the bright side of things.  Thankfully, my apartment has not been broken into since I have been here, but during my divorce my home was broken into.  Like you, I was not home when it happened.  I returned at the end of the day from work to find the door busted open.  I was glad that whoever broke in was gone when I arrived home (especially since my kids were with me!) They only took things that belonged to my now ex but it was enough to scare me, that’s for sure.  Now I find when I’m having a rough day and I need a pick me up, I go to your blog and read a post or two and remember exactly what you said here, it could be worse and life is looking pretty good from where I am right now.

  • http://twitter.com/lori_deschene Lori Deschene

    Thank *you* for sharing your story with me. And thank goodness you and your daughters were safe! I’m so glad the site has been helpful to you. =)

  • http://twitter.com/lori_deschene Lori Deschene

    Thank you so much! Some of my things meant something to me, and others were less meaningful. On the whole, I feel okay with what happened. It happened, and it’s over!

  • http://IrvingsJourney.com/ Irving Podolsky

    What an incredible attitude. If you’re ever a Mom, you’ll be great at it.

    Irv

  • Karthik

    This is a better approach. There is less bitterness and negative emotions. For example when there is a large scale destruction due to an earthquake or flooding, the next things to be done are all forward looking and constructive, whereas a terrorist bomb attack has a completely different approach. 

  • Claire

    Lori – I hope you manage to get everything sorted, and I admire you for your acceptance and resilience. Your blog means so much to me, I have got through so much by reading what you write and realising I was not alone in my feelings and foibles. So remember you have an online community across that world that is supporting you right now!

  • Connie

    Thank goodness you are good. Things could have been worse, which is true. I’m glad to know you are well and were able to get proper rest. I actually sat here with my eyes as big as saucers reading your post with my heart racing as I read each word. Thank God you are safe!

    As for the thieves, being a firm believer in Karma, what goes around comes around, it will get them.

    Be Well :)

  • http://optimalternative.com/ Mark B Hoover

    Hard to imagine, isn’t it. I called during Yom Kippur to ask forgiveness for having taken so long. He was quite understanding at the onset. Yet his closing remark about “all your stuff is gone” at the end of the conversation threw me so much it took me two to three months to respond. This is where I find forgiveness and the need to exact right from wrong at odds. It is still an ongoing process. Once a person is wronged to a criminal extent, at what point does he just drop hope and carry on? I know the easy answer to that; it’s in all the books and writings.

  • alexik

    This was awful to hear and it made me sad. What didn’t though, is your attitude. I’m in the midst of dealing with a frustrating situation myself, and I’ve been reminding myself that it could be much, much worse. It may be difficult, but it’s so important to realize this. I hope many good things come your way after this!

  • http://twitter.com/lori_deschene Lori Deschene

    Thank you so much. I hope everything is okay with your frustrating situation, and that many good things come your way as well!

  • http://twitter.com/lori_deschene Lori Deschene

    Thanks so much Connie! I think these particular thieves have committed many robberies in our neighborhood lately. It will have to catch up with them eventually!

  • http://twitter.com/lori_deschene Lori Deschene

    Thanks so much Claire. I’m so glad the site has been helpful to you! I feel that if I still have this sanctuary here, I still have so much to appreciate!

  • http://twitter.com/lori_deschene Lori Deschene

    Thanks so much Irving. I can’t wait to be a mother someday!

  • Bret

    God bless you.  You’re reaction is an inspiration  to me.  Thank God you are safe.  Thanks also for your daily thoughts.   I look forward to them.  Take care.

  • http://twitter.com/lori_deschene Lori Deschene

    Thank you so much Bret!

  • http://nochnoch.com/ Noch Noch

    oh no! sorry to hear about this – but what amazing attitude you have to negative events!

    Noch Noch

  • http://alidavies.com/ Ali Davies

    Sorry to hear about your horrible experience Lori. Your post highlights that there is always good to be found even in awful times. Things like your neighbours who stepped up to help and support you. What a blessing. And as you role model here, an opportunity to be grateful that things were not any worse. I have a mantra that “when the brown stuff hits the fan, there is always an opportunity lurking in there somewhere.” We just need to be willing to look for it and focus on the postive and keep ourselves from being sucked into the dark side of the situation.

  • http://twitter.com/lori_deschene Lori Deschene

    Thank you Noch Noch! I appreciate your support. =)

  • Lynda Nguyen

    so while perusing your actual site… i just randomly stumbled upon this post… looking through your ‘change’ section. omg, when was this. it’s not dated. but your recent comments were from a day or so ago. are you okay? can’t wait to see you in june!! -lynda

  • http://twitter.com/lori_deschene Lori Deschene

    This happened this past Friday, so it’s pretty recently. But I’m okay! I’m looking forward to seeing you in June too! =)

  • http://twitter.com/lori_deschene Lori Deschene

    Thanks so much Ali. That’s a great mantra. =)

  • http://twitter.com/yourgreatlifetv Bernardo Mendez

    Lori, allowing beauty to be born from a painful situation is part of what makes this life a miracle, right? I’m so grateful you were not in your apartment at the time of the robbery because aside from everything they took wich ultimately is replaceable, your safety and your peace of mind are really what matters. I remember the first time someone stole something from me: I was an 11 year old boy walking back from school (in Mexico City) and a drunk man, bigger and stronger than I was stole a really cool watch that I really loved, I was so scared and so upset.

    A few years later, outside a video store, another man (this one with a gun) stole my wallet and my watch and threw my car keys in a bush (not before making it clear that if I tried to follow him he would kill me). It took my shaking hands more than 30 minutes to find the keys under the rain. I felt so violated and insignificant when these events took place but as I had time to digest what happened two beautiful things emerged. I decided I would move to the US for good and I also learned to really (and I mean REALLY) appreciate the privileged life I’d lived so far. It made me realize that in a country where so many people live in misery, these events are likely to happen. I recalled that many people under similar circumstances in my country had been beaten or even killed.

    The thought that these material possessions might have allowed a family or two to eat or get medical care made the experience way more tolerable in my mind.

    I absolutely love that you’re able to feel grateful for how things worked out as opposed as to how they could have worked out. I’m not surprised by this given that you are such a bright light.

    Sending you lots of love,

    -Bernardo

  • Deborah

    I am sorry to hear of your break-in and soooo glad you are safe.  A robbery is a tough event to shake, so be gentle with yourself if some residual fear may come and go without apparent rhyme or reason.  And p.s. you were wise not to carry your passport with you and keep it in a safe place – we should all take great care with this item.  I enjoy your writing and often find something at Tiny Buddha very nourishing to help me.  Thinking of you, take care

  • http://twitter.com/lori_deschene Lori Deschene

    Thanks Deborah! I think I’ve had some residual fear lately, and I have felt a little on edge in general. I appreciate your advice to be gentle with myself, and I’m so glad the site has been helpful to you. =)

  • http://twitter.com/lori_deschene Lori Deschene

    Hi Bernardo,

    Both of those incidents must have been terrifying! I think it’s
    wonderful that you were able to shift your perspective, both to
    appreciate your life, and also think about who your possessions might
    have helped. You are also a bright light, and I admire you. =)

    Much love,

    Lori

  • http://twitter.com/yourgreatlifetv Bernardo Mendez

    You are too kind. I hope your insurance and all the details of this event unfold effortlessly my friend. <3 -Bern

  • http://zeroto60andbeyond.com Barbara Hammond

    Oh Lori I am so sorry you had to experience this.  I’m glad I get the newsletter or I might have missed this!  I know you believe in karma.  I feel bad for those who felt the need to do this but I know you will be fine.  
    It has been a difficult time for you lately with your surgery and now this. Please take the time to relax and reconnect with what truly matters. Be well. Be safe.
    Love Barbara

  • Angela

    We were robbed twice this week.  It is refreshing to know how different the experience can be when we choose how to respond.  Thank you for this post.  It helped transform my own experience.

  • http://twitter.com/lori_deschene Lori Deschene

    You’re most welcome Angela. I’m so sorry to learn you’ve been robbed twice. I hope you are doing alright!

  • http://twitter.com/lori_deschene Lori Deschene

    Thanks so much Barbara. I actually had a rough few days this past week (a couple of days after I wrote this) but I am feeling better today. I’m taking some to just relax. I think I really need it! I appreciate your kind words and support, and I hope you’re doing well!

  • http://alidavies.com/ Ali Davies

    Love your comment about how our experience is different when we choose how to respond. I use the mantra “you can’t always choose what happens to you, but you can always choose how you respond.” to keep me anchored in a positon of choice no matter what happens. As you say Angela, it really does impact how we experience things that happen to us.