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anitaParticipantI must have flagged my own post for inappropriate context, oh well.. be back to you Nichole Tues morning
anitaParticipantThis reply has been reported for inappropriate content.
* I am using my phone (my new dog destroyed my 🖥), so mispellings: “none of.. should cost you.. ” etc. Back to you tomorrow
anitaParticipantMy goodness, only a few minutes ago, you submitted a post for me, close to 8 pm here, close to 11 pm East Coast.
I will reply further Tues morning, but for now, bone of your living family members should cost tou mental-emotional health.
You matter, what you feel, what you worked on matters. Take your side, be loyal to YOU!
🤍 Anita
anitaParticipantHey 👋 Confused:
You never intended to hurt her, Confused.
You care about hhaving hurt her because you are a good person.
I know you’re a good person because we’ve been communicating in these 11 pages, I think (just passed the 10th page)
I accept your feelings and I know you’re a good 👍 person.
I too hurt people unintentionally. It’s about gaining clarity and doing better, one hour, one day at a time.
May you find some peace in my words and within yourself.
🤍✨️✌️ Anita
anitaParticipantHey 👋 again, confused:
I an wondering if you going over the ten pages communication between us in this thread, including AI input based on what you shared, and you taking notes- can help being Clarity into the Condused.
Doing so in calm times, maybe first thing in the mornings, or at another time of the day or evening 🤔
??? Anita
anitaParticipantHey Dear Confused:
I am so sorry 😞 to read that guilt and self-loathing is eating you 24/7.
You know, bad people don’t experience guilt and they don’t worry about being bad people.
You experiencing guilt means you’re a good person who wants to become even better.
You asked how you got overwhelmed.. you did because of the prospect of moving to her country which is something overwhelming for almost everyone. I think.
🤍 Anita
anitaParticipantAdult Anita (AA): Little Girl Anita (LGA) 👧 you are safe with me. I am on your side, always. I love you, always 🤍🤍🤍.
You were quiet 🤫 for so long, hiding in a fog, trapped in no-life.
I want to hear you. I want you to speak to me, to make your voice heard. I want you to expand, express. breathe. Tell me anything you needed to say for so very long.
And no matter how you feel, I am here for you. You are never again alone.
LGA: I was afraid.
Of her.
Felt sick, very sick. Like I was just about going to die gasping for air, panic.
AA: I am here for you, LGA
LGA: I lay in bed scared at night.
I didn’t know if she’d be dead in the night, or if I will be dead.
Death is something I was afraid of every day, every night, just fear on and on and on.
AA: What did she say or do that made you so afraid?
LGA; She said: “I will murder you”, “I will kill myself” (she showed me where on her wrist she’d make the cut, she pointed to a bus or a truck on the street, saying she was going to run and place herself in front of it to be run over)
She told me a lot about how better it’d be for her to be dead, and she said the way I was, who or what I was made her want to kill herself.
I am feeling dizzy.
AA; Let’s talk more later, LGA. I want you to relax now. I love you, always
🤍✨️👧 Anita
anitaParticipantBeautiful writing, Peter.
A ripple in the stillness- music 🎶 to my ears.
Quiet souls- this afternoon, I am a quiet soul.
For they ask nothing of the dark, and grow straight toward whatever sun the day is willing to give- this afternoon I let go of repulsion for the dark (such as loneliness), and attraction for the light (such as the longing to be around people right now), and I just flow with what is.
🥒✨️ Anita
anitaParticipantDear Omyk:
I hope 🙏 2026 is a better year for you, one day at a time..?
🤍` Anita
anitaParticipantDear Alessa:
So good to read from you again, you were missed! I hoped you enjoyed your holidays 😊
I am feeling better as far as both the cold and bladder infection, thank you!
The last paragraph of your post means a lot to me 🙏🙏🙏
🤍🙏🤍 Anita
anitaParticipantDear Tee:
“Yes, I understand your need to express, and please keep doing so if it brings you relief… My only suggestion is that if you’re expressing from your inner child (LGA), to also have your adult self present, to ‘carry’ her and soothe her, so that LGA wouldn’t feel overwhelmed and helpless again. LGA should feel like it has a healthy adult support now (you being in the role of a good parent), unlike in the past when she felt all alone.
“I think that’s how you can safely express and still not be pulled into the old feelings of fear, helplessness etc. Basically, to give LGA a container (a loving, listening ear) to safely express everything she feared to express in her childhood and beyond. If that makes sense?”-
Yes, it makes sense, Tee, thank you!
I want to do a LGA expression exercise with the adult-self present to carry and soothe LGA. I remember I’ve done it before 💪 😊
🤍 🫶 🙏 🫶 🤍 Anita
anitaParticipantDear Tee:
Using my phone and no way for me to copy and paste, so it will be a different kind of a reply
You are 🙏 Tee, and thank you 😊 for trying your best to take good care of yourself!
Thank you for your Amens 🙏 and for complimenting my insight regarding the equality of human value. Which allows us, like you said, to respect both ourselves and others.
No more submitting/ people-pleasing (and then resenting it). It is indeed a trap, like you called it, Tee.
Well, as one who’ll do almost anything so to not bother with seeing a doctor, I got new over the counter pills with “antibacterial properties”, I think it says. Feeling pretty good at the moment, other than feeling tired and socially starved/ sad.
I still don’t feel a need to rescue my mother. Objectively, at her age, that ship (of being rescued) sailed ⛵️ a long, long time ago.
I will take your suggestion that the adult me will be positively supportive of LGA as she expresses herself. (I want to copy that part of your message in a post later on, when I have the use of the computer) and respond further to this part.
I agree 👍 that remaining silent 🤫 in the face of abuse encourages abuse. I want to make sure that in the future, here in the forums, I will not be silent in this context.
🤍🙏🤍 Anita
January 5, 2026 at 9:49 am in reply to: The phenomenon of “helping someone excessively can make them turn against you” #453832anitaParticipantDear Arden:
Thank you for your prayers, I think they were heard because I am feeling way better now!
Yes, it’s a dog, a beagle, to be specific. His name is Bogart, and indeed, it’s a different level of love, just like you said. I am guessing that when you’re able you will get a cat or two?
🤍 Anita
anitaParticipantHi Thomas:
Very good point. Must have been desire, not love. If he loved her, he wouldn’t want to get her in trouble, not within herself (feeling conflicted, ashamed or guilty for being a nun having an affair with a monk), or without, if the affair was found out.
What a clever saying, “I believe that nothing good grows in the dark except for mushrooms??” I looked it up, thinking it might be a known or famous saying.. but no, it’s a Thomas Original, I am impressed!
🍄✨ Anita
anitaParticipantHey Confused:
It makes sense that you feel torn right now. You didn’t string her along — you were genuinely connected, and then your system shut down in a way you didn’t choose.
Missing what you had doesn’t mean you did something wrong; it just shows that the feelings were real, even if you can’t access them at the moment.
What you’re feeling now is painful, but it’s also a sign of overwhelm, not a sign that you never cared.
You’re not supposed to be able to ‘force’ emotions when you’re numb. Give yourself some space and gentleness — your system needs time to settle before anything becomes clear again.
You’re allowed to take time to stabilize before trying to understand your feelings. Nothing about this makes you a bad person.
🤍 Anita
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