How exciting it is, for me, to know that somewhere across the world 🌎, Starlight1 has submitted a post exactly 10 minutes ago!

Please do rest, do take the break you need to take. I’ll be here when you return.

🌿 Anita

What goes up ⬆️ 🤪 must come down ⬇️ 😴

What goes in 😋 must go out 🤢 (or the other way).

The laws of physics and physiology.

Confused 😕 can’t change these laws.

For a while you had more 🏹 ⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️ than ⬇️⬇️ (pre Nov)- but it was not a solid 🪨 type high.

🐰 Anita

Hey 🙂 Confused:

I feel positively appreciative of her
for her values and her kindness.. even when you “feel nothing again” (exactly 30 minutes ago)

Well, I think well of her and had a good feeling a moment ago, appreciating her.

My point is there’s a connection between thoughts and feelings, and thoughts come and go (although deep impressions last) and feelings are like ocean 🌊 not at all solid.

Somehow, somewhere along the way you Confused 💧 with 🪨 ( that’s a rock)

💧 🪨 🌊 🐰 Anita

Thank you for explaining (your post in this thread, right above). So, you watch certain programs or read things because people urged you to do so, and you kept reading or watching even though the material felt unhealthy or inappropriate?

If I understood correctly, then I can relate. Not to this specific thing but to anything and everything that involves saying “no” and setting boundaries.

I bet there are online exercises in regard to teaching setting boundaries and other assertive. There’re probably YouTubes on it. Some may be helpful. Did you ever look into that?

But guess who is not recommending that you read or watch anything (even if I had something in mind for you to read or watch)?

Me 🙂

Hi Starlight:

I wanted to clarify something from my earlier reply. I used the word “selfish” about your mother, and I realized afterward that this wasn’t the best way to say what I meant. It’s not my place to label your mother as a whole person. What I should have said is that some of the things she did were self‑serving and placed her needs above your wellbeing. That part is true, but it’s different from naming her entirely.

I also want to acknowledge something else. When I wrote about the deer, I was drawing from my own history with my mother, and I can see now that I let my experience blend into yours (projection). That wasn’t fair to you. Your story is your own, and it deserves to be heard without my trauma coloring it.

What you shared about being made to support her art school plans, and seeing her stay with someone who harmed you, are painful experiences in their own right. They don’t need any added intensity from my side. I want to go back to listen to your reality as you see it, in your timing, without pushing you toward any conclusion.

I wrote to you on the other thread that I’m here to walk alongside you, but in the above reply, I unintentionally (or without awareness) walked ahead of you. I apologize.

🤍 Anita

Hi Starlight1 ⭐️

Sounds like “Selfish” (her interest AT your expense) was your mother’s middle name and the church goer religious affiliation 😞

I am sorry, Starlight, that this happened to you.

In this context, forgiving would mean saying that it is okay to take advantage of one’s own daughter/ fellow church goer, is it?

That you ended your original post with the thought that your mother would be pleased with having mostly blocked your creativity says a lot about how much it hurts that she did.

.. When a mother is so far from what a mother should be.

I remember observing 🦌 mothers and their fawns years ago (I live in a wooded area outside the city limits) and I realized that although mother-deer don’t go out of their way to protect their young (they don’t, I was disappointed!), they never turn around and bite or attack their offsprings, or actively harm them.

Unlike too many human mothers.

🦌 😞 Anita

You are very welcome, Starlight. You probably didn’t read the message I submitted 6 minutes before yours (the one before the most recent) in regard to answering your 3rd thread. No rush, whenever you answer is fine.

I didn’t understand your most recent post. If you’d like to elaborate, please do (no rush, after your rest. Actually, I need rest myself).

🤍 Anita

Good morning again🙂, Starlight:

What you wrote about sometimes not knowing where your limits are — that’s such a common outcome of early boundary violations. It’s not unique to just me and you.

I’m sorry you’re in so much shoulder pain right now. Physical pain on top of emotional work can make everything more difficult. And what you said about being weary of the recovery journey makes complete sense. Healing isn’t a straight line, and it isn’t always inspiring. Sometimes it’s just tiring.

About forgiveness — you don’t owe it to anyone. Not forgiving certain people is a completely valid place to be. It doesn’t make you stuck; it means you’re telling the truth about what happened and what it cost you. You get to move at your own pace, and you get to decide what forgiveness even means for you, if anything.

Thank you also for your kindness toward me. I appreciate you acknowledging what I shared, and your reminder to rest. I’m taking care of myself, and I want you to know that you don’t have to protect me from your story. You’re not a burden. You’re simply speaking from your life, and I’m listening with a steady mind and a quiet heart 🤍

If you want to keep exploring limits, or if you need to slow down because of the pain and the weariness, either direction is completely fine. You get to set the pace.

🤍 Anita