I don’t think that you confused things, it’s just that you are very advanced at tolerating nuance, more than anyone I know, so it takes the black-and-white thinking crowd (well, me) more time to understand (helped by Copilot). Back to the computer/ phone in a few hours.

You are 🙏, Starlight 🌟

About “I did wrong things”- me too. There’s a mantra I repeat every day, it goes like this, word by word: “I redirect chronic shame, guilt and self- doubt to confidence- not because I am perfect, but because I am learning”.

Take your time, Starlight, no rush.

🌿 Anita

Good morning, Peter!

I like that: the best dancing happens later in life 💃✨💃🕺🤍

I also like your reflection and processed it for a while before starting this post.

It makes me think of my experience growing up with no mat to hold me, no floor that holds the mat, no earth that holds the floor, and no universe that holds the earth.

You wrote: “The mat is patient. It does not move.”- no, didn’t have that experience. The experience I did have was that of chaotic movement and great impatience.

In that environment, to be still within my mind, emotionally, was to disappear into the chaos, to fall into the abyss.

But now, to be still is no longer dangerous, is it (I am pausing because my body senses danger in it)

Stillness, “a sacred boundary, a designated patch of pure being.”- Amen 🙂

🧘✨🪐🧘‍♂️ Anita

Good morning, Starlight!

I hear what you’re saying about things getting merged together. That happens so easily when different experiences carry similar feelings. It makes sense that you’re trying to tease them apart so each thing can be understood on its own, instead of becoming one big knot.

There’s no rush with that. It’s something that happens slowly and naturally as you look at each piece in your own time.

About your question — whether people would still do certain things if they really understood the consequences — that’s a painful thing to wonder about.

Some people truly don’t see the impact of their actions. Others see it but choose their own needs anyway. And sometimes people only understand the consequences much later, when the harm is already done.

Your question shows how deeply you’ve been thinking about what happened to you, and how much you’re trying to make sense of it.

If you want to talk more about any part of this, I’m here. And if you’re still sorting through things quietly, that’s completely okay too.

🤍✨Anita

It’s okay when it (dancing) happens late in life

See the photo above my name?

This is me dancing on Halloween 2024 at the Winery I loved so much

Last danced there on a Dec 2025 night under the night sky, before the winery closed for good that month.

Months later, tonight, listening to music, a beagle at my lap, I am dancing in spirit.

How R U, GTL, 2 months & a day since you posted last?

🌿 Anita

Four months and 2 days since I heard from me.

Hey Dear Confused:

Thoughts and feelings are very much connected.

Confused: “Why can’t (I) stay in the middle like all people”- that’s a thought.

This thought assumes that ALL people feel in the middle, and you are The 🤒 Exception.

This thought leads to feeling like a.. freak of nature, different from everyone else.

While truth is, no one (or hardly anyone) is in the middle you imagine.

If everyone was in that middle, would there be so many, many breakups and divorces and people on street drugs and people on depression medications etc.?

🧠🌿🐰🌙 Anita