Dear Jana:

Excellent, we both will.. 🤗 ❤️

I didn’t have the time yesterday to read your post in regard to the novel you read. This morning, as I read it, I am finding it very meaningful.

Each chapter of the novel was dedicated to one member of the family describing his or her unique ways of dealing with the family trauma. You wrote that it reminds you of the complexity of people “and that we should respect each other.. even though we don’t understand each other completely, or we don’t even like some ways of healing, we should respect and accept each other. ❤️”-

So true, Jana. I am moving more and more away from black and white/ directive thinking (as in, thinking or expressing something like: “this is the way it is, and this is what you should do!” Or “this is what’s true to me, therefore it must be true to you too!”)==> toward shades of grey thinking: being open to really listen to the other person as a unique person, to really consider the person’s viewpoint (to not prejudge), and to be open to changing my views/ thinking according to what I learn.

Thank you, Jana, for this space to articulate the above, and for being the uniquely perceptive and resourceful person that you are! You are an asset to this small tiny buddha community.

🌿 🤍 Anita

Dear Milda:

As much as you ever cared about anyone else, as much as you ever placed anyone else (other than you) as No 1 in your life- it’s your turn now. It’s time for you to place you (MILDA) as No 1- not as No 1 in the whole universe-

Just No 1 in this one life- your own.

???

Anita

Dear Gregory:

I am bringing up this thread because your other thread got deleted this morning following my request.

After much consideration this morning, I came to realize that talking about politics in South Sudan, particularly when mentioning real names, real government titles and locations- all in a public forum- is unsafe for you, for me, and for others.

And so, I asked for that thread to be deleted (I copied all the poems you submitted for me 🙂, thank you again!). We can continue to talk about other topics right here, or in a new thread that you can choose to start.

But please: no more mention of any politics. And also, please don’t mention my name to irl people in politics anymore. Thank you!

🤍🌿 Anita

Dear Milda: I am sorry that I ran out of time today, but I will get back to you Sat morning (it’s Fri afternoon here). Take care!

Dear Jana:

So good to have you back here! I hope that the forums become a reliably safe place for you and for everyone else. I will do my best to cocreate and promote safety and inclusivity in the forums, a place where everyone feels welcomed, respected, and valued.

No, I won’t be dancing this weekend (no outdoor music in the place I frequent). Got to run, have a great weekend, Jana!

🌿 🤍 Anita

“I see trees of green, red roses too- I see them bloom for me and you- And I think to myself- What a wonderful world

I see skies of blue and clouds of white- The bright blessed days, the dark sacred nights- And I think to myself- What a wonderful world

The colors of the rainbow, so pretty in the sky- Are also on the faces of people going by- I see friends shaking hands, saying, “How do you do?”- They’re really saying, “I love you”

I hear babies cry, I watch them grow- They’ll learn much more than I’ll ever know- And I think to myself- What a wonderful world

Yes, I think to myself- What a wonderful world. Oh, yeah.” (Louis Armstrong, 1901-1971)

You are not blabbering, Going Through Life 🙂, You are making sense! Got to run, will be back to you in the morning.

Dear Lucidity:

I know what you mean about being black and white when in the midst of conflict. I used to experience this all the time during conflict… First for me was to recognise that other people can be hurt just as much as me”-

Before I get locked into black and white thinking again, I will open myself to the possibility, or probability that the other person is hurt too. Thank you for this, lucidity!

“So, there has to be patience and that’s SUPER hard for me when in conflict bec I am the type of person to not be able to let things go, be aggressive, confrontational, intimidating.”-

Are you saying that at times, during conflict, you are aggressive, confrontational and intimidating? Or did I somehow misunderstand..? If I understood correctly, I’d be curious to know in what ways you’ve been these things (your image on the YouTube channel is that of a soft spoken, gentle woman)

“Black and white thinking is a cognitive distortion tho. It simplifies the situation…”- agreed. Black and white/ all or nothing/ binary thinking is adequate for the understanding of simple, black and white situations, but it either distorts or makes the understanding of complex situations impossible.

“In the end, when outside of toxic situations that really are impossible, the focus should be on all parties feeling heard, included and validated and black and white thinking doesn’t help to achieve that. Hope that helps ❤️”-

Agreed, and yest, this helps, thank you!

❤️ Anita