Dear Squiggly pop:

You are very welcome!

“I don’t think they (friends, “many of whom are already in stable long-term relationships for years”) understand how I feel really… I feel discontent with my own home city and at the back of my mind I want to be away from this place.”-

The guy may be your way to feel connected in a disconnected context of your friends and home city.

I think that you strongly need a special 1- to- 1 connection, someone who will really understand how you feel.

I would like to understand more about how you really feel..???

🤍 Anita

James: I am withdrawing from this thread and will not participate in any thread you have started or will start. I see no opportunity for a dialogue with you. I give up.

Plus, I am concerned for other people interacting with you because “Real Spirituality” (the title of your thread) is really.. ‘Spiritual’ Abuse and Authoritarianism.

Anita

Hello James and Everyone:

“James: “I am not gonna get into these. Too early for you guys and not ready.” (Dec 28)- too early for us guys to Submit to your prophetic leadership, not ready to Follow you. I can’t think of a more fitting example to a stronger Ego (and arrogance) than yours, as expressed in this quote.

There’s no dialogue with you unless one agrees with you completely, and even better, asks for your guidance- that’s when you engage in a dialogue and express kindness.

When challenged, you dismiss the entire message of the challenger (no matter how empathetic and gentle the message) as “mind,” which is his catch‑all category for anything you don’t want to engage with. This is not a dialogue; it’s a closed system.

The pattern- someone asks → you answer, someone validates→ you agree. Someone questions you → you preach, one challenges you → you dismiss.

Because you framed your worldview is as absolute, any counterargument becomes proof that the other person is “still trapped.”, and any disagreement is reframed as: ignorance, ego, illusion, attachment, “mind”, “you’re not awakened yet”, or the latest, today: “you guys and not ready.”

Your worldview immune to critique. You avoid every question that would require self-reflection, and from time to time, you escalate into prophetic warning: “I am not here to teach you, I am here to warn you. Either you follow or not. If you don’t, death will show you.”

This reveals the power dynamic you are trying to create: You are the one who “knows.” Others are the ones who must “follow.” Reality itself will punish disagreement; follow or suffer.

You don’t say: “This is my experience.”, “This is my interpretation.”
You say: “This is the Truth.”, “Death will show you.”, “I am here to warn you.”-

This is very far from spiritual humility — it’s metaphysical authoritarianism.

Ending with “Peace” after issuing a death warning is not peace.

The dynamic you practice is called a ONE-UP, ONE-DOWN DYNAMIC: a pattern in communication or relationships where one person consistently places themselves above the other — in knowledge, authority, morality, insight, or power — while placing the other person below them. You are always Right and others’ chance of being right as well is NO disagreement, no challenging questions, nothing but complete agreement and submission.

A one‑up stance often includes correcting others constantly, dismissing their experiences, reframing disagreement as ignorance, claiming special insight or enlightenment, and speaking with absolute certainty; while the other person is invalidated, talked down to, and told their perspective is “mind,” “illusion,” or “attachment”, warned or lectured.

A SELF-SEALING BELIEF SYSTEM is one that automatically protects itself from being questioned, no matter what anyone says. Any challenge is reinterpreted as proof that the belief is correct, no evidence can count against it, no counterargument is allowed to land. It “seals itself” against criticism.

A self‑sealing system has built‑in defenses like: “If you disagree, that means you don’t understand.”, “If you question this, that means your ego is resisting.”, “If you argue, that proves you’re trapped in illusion.” You literally cannot win.

The conversation is not about evidence, logic, shared reality or mutual understanding- unless one submits and follows you completely.

Here are examples from your messages: someone says: “Stress comes from emotions.”, you say: “Emotions are mind. Mind is illusion.”

Someone says: “We can influence the body.”, you say: “There is no you to influence anything.”

Someone says: “Your worldview has contradictions.”, you say: “That’s your mind resisting.”

Why people use self‑sealing worldviews? Because their inner world feels unstable, uncertainty feels dangerous. A self‑sealing system is a psychological safety mechanism.

In simple terms, a self‑sealing belief is one that cannot be wrong, because it reinterprets every challenge as proof that it’s right.

Anita

Hey Confused:

“Do you think it could still be influencing me?… I cant give myself empathy”- Yes, I think it does because you haven’t been able so far to feel empathy for yourself.

I am wondering, if you look at a photo or photos of yourself when you were a child, when you look at young Confused face, into his eyes in the photos, if you look long enough, do you feel anything at all?

If you talked to the boy in the photo, what would you tell him?

🤍 Anita

Dear James:

Seeing your 😂😂😂 brought the first smile to my face today. Sincerely, I am glad that you were at least entertained by my study, and that you laughed loudly! I hope you laugh out loud many more times, it’s healthy for you!

(I am Anita, by the way, not Alessa)

Some of what you wrote over time (much of it I quoted before, here on your thread) has been helpful and illuminating for me. I want to go back and read those quotes. I thank you for these.

Anita

The ego is just see what it want to see lol.

I am sorry but i laughed loudly 😂

Dear Tee,

Try to take care your body and cause more stress. You have no idea how free and beauty it is without you.

Peace.