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anitaParticipantI’m sorry you’re hurting, Nami. π
Sending you a photo of himself on a date with a new girlfriend, breaking up with you while already out with someone else, and then appearing publicly affectionate so soon afterward would leave many people feeling shocked and replaceable.
Honestly, none of us can know if the tweet was the reason or just an excuse. The truth is that nobody outside the relationship can know whether he had emotionally checked out long before the breakup, whether he met the new girlfriend shortly beforehand, or whether the tweet genuinely upset him. People who want to leave a relationship sometimes point to a specific incident as the reason, even when their dissatisfaction began earlier.
Right now, I think blocking him was the best thing you could do. It’s a healthy step because every new photo reopens the wound and makes it harder to grieve the relationship.
Try not to focus on whether he cheated or why he left. Focus on taking care of yourself and giving the pain time to settle. It’s only been a week, so it’s normal to still miss the good times.
π· Anita
anitaParticipantYou are inspiring, Calm Moon! I would love to read updates from you every once in a while- about work, the possible side-gig.. about anything you’d feel comfortable talking about here.
Anita
October 5, 2026 at 10:34 pm in reply to: growing up – becoming adul / procrastination – in connection to childhood trauma #461377anitaParticipantContinued:
You wrote that at times your mother brutally beat you. (It makes ME angry)
My mother didn’t brutally beat me. She slapped my face with her open hand right and left, right, left, my face felt hot. Don’t know if my burning face was a result of her open hand hitting me (the friction, the impact) or was it my A.N.G.E.R. burning my face.
When her arm/ hand got tired, she said, looking at her hand, “Look what YOU did to ME, my hand is hurting”
Sometimes she hit me with her hands and feet anywhere they landed. She hit me as if she was the one in pain. And I guess she was.
And she said: “You think I’m stupid? I’m not going to break your bones or make you bleed, that would get me in trouble”-
So, I suppose she didn’t brutally beat me (?)- No bleeding and no broken bones.
Attached to these memories, is a contained, subdued, hushed anger.
“Bitch, do your song, keep telling yourself that you was a mum” (Eminem)-
It’d be more untrue for me to call her a “mum” than..
And yet, little girl Anita loves the mum she needed so early on, the one who wasn’t there, the one she didn’t have.
Yes, I LOVE my imagined mum, the idea of her, still. Ahh.. hmm. It’d be like a dream come true, retroactively if only..
When a Need replaces Reality.
How to let go of that little girl’s hope, Robi?
* I read that years after that song, Eminen apologized to his mother (disappointed).
Anita
anitaParticipantOh, dear.. my goodness, Going Through Life.. that’s you? (big smile on my face!)
October 5, 2026 at 8:38 pm in reply to: growing up – becoming adul / procrastination – in connection to childhood trauma #461374anitaParticipantGood Tuesday 6:03 am (your time), Robi:
In this post, I want to analyze Eminem’s lyrics above. But before you read my analysis, that is, what the lyrics bring up for me, maybe you would like to write/ develop your thoughts about what those words bring up for you?
For me-
“I said I’m sorry mama, I never meant to hurt you, I never meant to make you cry”-
That’s the very young Eminem boy, maybe 3, 6 years old. Totally empathetic to his mother, taking responsibility for her hurt, for her crying-
Just as little boys and girls do.
No “bad” words. Only love.
Then the adult Eminem comes on board, A.N.G.R.Y π€ π€¬, saying (rapping) it just-like-he-feels it.
Now, I can’t say the words he says: “fag*** father… fu***** wish he would die… I’d killed him, shit (no reason for me to *** is there?)… You selfish bitch, I hope you fu**** burn in hell for this shit” ( had to *** the f word)-
Point is, the above is beautiful, I can’t say it, but I WANT to!
It gives his anger just the right words.
His emotions find full, true expression. No softening, no philosophy, not even psychology, just straight, unapologetic anger.
He said what I wanted to say to my mother but held it in, suppressing, pushing it all down, going crazy in my head from keeping all the emotions inside.
I’ll move to the computer and continue)
anitaParticipantGood Monday evening (here), Calm Moon:
Thank you for asking. I’m well, taking life one day at a time.. because that’s really all we have.
I also pray every day and make it a daily practice to thank God for positive things happening every day.. and for waking up in the morning to a new day.. one day at a time.
You wrote: “I do not need everyone’s approval. That’s very liberating.”-
I need to practice this very thing more. Thank you, Calm Moon!
You wrote that you want your side gig to fill your own cup before thinking about filling other people’s cups, that is, before thinking about how you can help others. Did I understand?
I like this attitude very much, and it makes sense. It makes sense to help yourself first.
Calm Moon deserves to be helped first, to be prioritized- for a change.
About getting into the victim position in my life, saying something like: ‘I can’t do what others can because of my (limiting) childhood compared to theirs’-
π€ (thinking, pondering)
Well, I didn’t place myself in the victim position growing up (my childhood). I was truly a victim. Like many others.
Like you.
We didn’t choose a victim position. I don’t think victims choose to be victims.
And it’s also true that as adults, once we understand things better, once we gain clarity- it’s our jobs, our responsibility to heal, to fill our on cups first- for a change- and to make it a daily practice.. one day at a time.
Please let me know if I answered your question and if I make sense to you π
Anita
October 5, 2026 at 3:54 pm in reply to: growing up – becoming adul / procrastination – in connection to childhood trauma #461372anitaParticipantEminem β I’m Sorry Mama lyrics (parts)
“I’m sorry mama
I never meant to hurt you
I never meant make you cry
But tonight, I’m cleaning out my closet
One More Time…I got some skeletons in my closet
And I don’t know if no one knows it
So, before they throw me inside my coffin and close it
I’ma expose it, I’ll take you back to ’73
Before I ever had a multi-platinum selling CD
I was a baby maybe I was just a couple of months
My faggot father must’ve had his panties up in a bunch
‘Cause he split, I wonder if he even kissed me goodbye
No I don’t, on second thought I just fucking wished he would die…What I did was stupid, no doubt it was dumb
But the smartest shit I did was take the bullets outta that gun
Cause I’d of killed em, shit I would’ve shot Kim and him both
It’s my life, I’d like to welcome ya’ll to the Eminem showNow I would never diss my own mama just to get recognition
Take a second to listen for who you think this record is dissing
But put yourself in my position, just try to envision
Witnessing your mama popping prescription pills in the kitchen
Bitching that someone’s always going through her purse when shit’s missing
Going through public housing systems, victim of munchhausen syndrome
My whole life I was made to believe I was sick when I wasn’t
‘Til I grew up, now I blew up it makes you sick to your stomach, doesn’t it?
Wasn’t it the reason you made that CD for me, ma?
So, you could try to justify the way you treated me, ma?
But guess what, your getting older now and it’s cold when your lonely…See what hurts me the most, is you wont admit you was wrong
Bitch, do your song, keep telling yourself that you was a mum
But how dare you try to take what you didn’t help me to get
You selfish bitch, I hope you fucking burn in hell for this shit!
Remember when Ronnie died and you said you wished it was me?
Well guess what, I am dead, dead to you as can be”I copied the above because I want to look at these words with you when I’m back to your thread this evening, as well as reply to the rest of your recent post.
Anita
October 5, 2026 at 12:36 pm in reply to: growing up – becoming adul / procrastination – in connection to childhood trauma #461365anitaParticipantThis is a WOW of a different kind: when I remembered Eminem’s song yesterday, about his mother (it’s an autobiographical song), I thought that it might speak to you like it spoke to me, and thought of asking you about it, but then remembered how in the past, with different people, the song I thought would reach them- did not, not at all.. so I learned to no longer expect it.
And unexpectedly, then I read today your experience with the same song!
I loved that song ever since I heard it for the first time, it was sometime in the very early 2000s. Let me check…
“Released: July 29, 2002. (you were only 9!) It is generally considered one of Eminem’s most autobiographical songs. The lyrics draw heavily on his own life, especially his troubled relationship with his mother, Debbie Mathers, feelings about his difficult childhood, resentment toward his absent father, and family experiences and emotional struggles from his upbringing… Sources describe it as an autobiographical work inspired by events from his childhood and family relationships.”
More later
anitaParticipantHi Calm Moon π
Good to read from you this Monday, late morning! Congrats for standing up for yourself and asking for a raise π
And for thinking about starting your own side gig even though it’s scary π
I’ll reply further later.
Anita
October 4, 2026 at 9:55 pm in reply to: growing up – becoming adul / procrastination – in connection to childhood trauma #461348anitaParticipantCopilot (AI) says: “W.O.W!
No, no.. Just kidding π
Let’s try again.
Copilot says: “Yes, Enigma was definitely popular in the U.S., especially that first album, MCMXC a.D. The album reached No. 6 on the Billboard 200 and remained on the chart for more than five years, which is pretty remarkable. It was also certified 4Γ Platinum in the U.S. and sold millions of copies.
I can see the connection between Enya and Enigma. Both create immersive, ethereal soundscapes, but Enigma added a stronger electronic and rhythmic element. MCMXC a.D. was one of those albums that introduced a lot of Americans to new-age/world-influenced music, even if listeners didn’t normally follow the genre.
Yes, Enigma became quite popular in the States, although I’d say the name “Enigma” was much better known than Michael CreΘu. Many people loved the music and recognized tracks like “Sadeness,” but probably couldn’t tell you who created it. He was one of those artists who stayed largely behind the scenes while the project itself became the star. That’s part of what made Enigma feel so intriguing back then..
What I find interesting is that despite all that success, most people remember Enigma and songs like “Sadeness” or “Return to Innocence,” but have no idea who Michael CreΘu is. He seemed to prefer letting the music be the star rather than becoming a celebrity himself.”-
This makes me think about what you wrote earlier: “I need to shift from consumer to creator”- letting your creation be the star rather than becoming a celebrity yourself..?
π€ Anita
October 4, 2026 at 8:03 pm in reply to: growing up – becoming adul / procrastination – in connection to childhood trauma #461346anitaParticipantW. O. W
October 4, 2026 at 8:02 pm in reply to: growing up – becoming adul / procrastination – in connection to childhood trauma #461345anitaParticipantW.O.W.
Well, I am not a fair representation of what music is popular in the U S. The last new American music I was into was Eminem’s song about his mother.
I even remember the words: “I said I’m sorry momma, I never meant to hurt you-ou, I never meant to make you cry, but tonight I’m cleaning out my closet”.
It resonated a lot, the words and the anger in that song.
I will ask AI if the Romanian’s guy’s music was or is popular in the U.S. I’ll be interested in listening to a song there, later on, when I’m back to the computer (using my phone now).
You wrote earlier: “I need to shift from consumer to creator. I was creating once.. a lot. But stopped.. for some reason”-
Could it be the common fear of not being good- enough?
I didn’t read all of your 11:30 pm message, or wasn’t focused enough when I read through it earlier. Now I see that you did explain that’s it’s a picture of your own shadow.
Which brings me to my next post:
October 4, 2026 at 7:33 pm in reply to: growing up – becoming adul / procrastination – in connection to childhood trauma #461344anitaParticipantNo Wayyy: this is you, Robi1992?
I thought it was an AI generated image of a perfect human specimen that doesn’t exist in real life..
(Going back to the photo, enlarging it..
NO WAY!!!
This IS YOU???
You said you’re fit, I had no idea how visibly fit.
(Going back to the photo)..
W. O. W.
Will get back to you, just need to say a few more wows first.
Wow-ed π€― Anita
October 4, 2026 at 7:10 pm in reply to: When family dynamics you grew up with become unacceptable in adulthood #461343anitaParticipantThinking about you this Sunday evening, Nea, hoping you are well π
October 4, 2026 at 3:45 pm in reply to: growing up – becoming adul / procrastination – in connection to childhood trauma #461341anitaParticipantDear Robi:
My goodness, I’m so ignorant when it comes to .. well, lots of things, including Enigma and Enya. I didn’t even recognize the image being from Avatar. For the last decade I haven’t watched TV at all, haven’t seen any movies and I only listen to the same old same old music. I’ll B back 2 U tonight. I hope you’re sleeping restfully at this time, 1:45 am ππ΄π€
Anita
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