Hi everyone! I think I might be struggling with Relationship OCD (ROCD). Let me give you some background first.

My girlfriend and I have been together for a little over six months (we’re both around 17 years old).

We love each other very much. I do a lot for her, and sometimes I even push myself beyond my comfort zone to make her happy. I don’t regret doing that at all because seeing her happy means a lot to me.

We’ve almost broken up a few times in the past. During those periods, I blamed myself a lot, but thankfully, we worked things out.

At one point, I developed this issue where I felt like I wasn’t even allowed to look at other girls, let alone talk to them. Even if I accidentally glanced at another girl, I would start questioning myself: “Why did I do that?” “I’m so disloyal.” It got really bad at times. Thankfully, that particular issue has gotten better. I can now talk to other girls relatively comfortably, have conversations with them, and discuss things without feeling as guilty as I used to.

However, I’ve recently developed a new problem.

There’s a girl I know (I’ll call her Lucy). I’m not particularly attracted to her or anything. It’s hard to explain, but recently, I was standing with a friend, joking around, when I noticed Lucy nearby. It felt like I started acting a little differently, as if I wanted to look better in front of her.

I find it difficult to handle the feeling of being watched by girls my age. When I notice that a girl is looking at me, I start feeling uncomfortable. I either make awkward, unnatural movements because I’m self-conscious, or I start acting differently to make myself look better in her eyes.

Before I got into a relationship, I used to constantly try to impress girls. Now, when I notice a girl looking at me, I feel uncomfortable and start worrying about how I’m behaving.

How can I overcome this? How can I stop being so aware of other girls looking at me?

I’ve never flirted with anyone or tried to make advances toward another girl. Absolutely never!

I love only my girlfriend, and I really hate that I sometimes have thoughts like, “What if she’s not the one for me?” or “What if she’d be happier with someone else?” and things like that.

I genuinely don’t want to lose her. I do so much for her, and I’m faithful to her. I’ve never cheated on her.

There have been times when I’ve blamed myself so intensely that I think it may have even started affecting my physical health. Now, because of what happened with Lucy, I’m starting to feel bad again.

I keep thinking that maybe I wanted to get her attention or make myself look good in front of her. At the same time, I know that I wouldn’t have even started a conversation with her, and if she had approached me first, I wouldn’t have given her a chance romantically.

I’ve spent so much emotional energy fighting with myself over these thoughts and feelings. It’s exhausting.

If anyone has any advice, I’d be incredibly grateful.

I’d also really appreciate it if you could give me your honest opinion about the situation with Lucy. Was I being faithful to my girlfriend in that situation, or did I cross a line?

I’ve already discussed so many of these situations with ChatGPT, trying to understand what’s going on in my head. I’d really appreciate hearing other people’s perspectives, especially from anyone who has experienced something similar.

Thank you for reading.