Dear Tee:

I copied much of our communication and your recent posts that you addressed to me in their entirety, into my private records just in case this thread/ the website becomes unavailable.

I was tempted, for a moment, to ask for Copilot’s help in finding adequate, big enough words of appreciation for you because I couldn’t find words. But then I remembered that Copilot was unhelpful in this conflict, and that having used it so heavily in many of my responses to members- for 10 months or so, I find it more difficult to find words on my own.

Overuse, or misuse of artificial intelligence dimmed my own, human, personal intelligence.

So, my words: I am grateful beyond what my words can say. Your grace.. the beauty of your soul, is what comes to mind.

“Dear Anita,”- from “Anita,” to “Hi Anita,” to “Dear Anita”- I feel undeserving of this shift. That’s why I call it grace, not my deserving. The words “thank you” are inadequate.

“I fully understand your need to take a break from this thread to process and integrate everything that transpired…It’s hugely important that you could self-reflect and see certain patterns that you may not have been aware of before. I’m impressed by your ability to turn inward and start examining everything… Take your time, Anita, and let all of this sink. You’ve been brave…”-

Thank you so very much for offering me grace, support, patience and the space to reflect. That the wounded party (you) are offering this to the one who wounded you (me) means so much. I will never forget this grace that you are offering me so generously, and I will honor it with honest, and indeed brave reflections over a long time.

If you would like me to, I will be honored to share my reflections with you at a later time. They’re are the making.

I will repeat myself: I believe that my experience with you, in this thread, Tee- is a life changer for me. You are making a major, positive difference in my life, and for that I am forever grateful.

“I wish you deep healing and days fills with self-love, self-compassion, peace and calm. And patience. A lot of patience and gentleness with yourself. You deserve it, Anita. Good luck to you! See you in a bit! ❤️”-

See you in a bit, Tee!

❤️ Anita

Thank you, Alessa. I will do my very best to not fail you again!

Steady ❤️ ❤️ ❤️, Anita

Dear Alessa:

You are so kind, too kind, too good perhaps..?

All I know, Alessa, at this point, is that I don’t want you hurt. I care.. Somehow, because of Tee’s major help (for which I am eternally grateful), and then Lucidity’s understanding and kindness today… and your kindness in the message right above.. I am becoming more and more.. simply human. Defenses lowered, aggression dissolved, and all that’s left is..

Love.

Love for you, Alessa.. no longer the hot and cold that hurts you, but the steady, reliable kind.

Hi Alessa:

“Perhaps it might have been hard to keep track of all of the voices and reply during a disagreement?”- yes! I am starting my reply with this question because it’s the easiest to answer.

“It seemed like you also might have wanted to shut down some of the criticism because you were feeling overwhelmed by it?”- this is another easy question to answer: Yes!

“Why do you think it unsettled me? Because I only said that it did and didn’t explain why.” (in regard to what you shared 3 days ago: “what unsettled me the most in the initial conflict was Anita posting about how happy she was whilst we were suffering.”)-

.. because you needed empathy and understanding and I gave you the opposite?

* “Thank you, Lucidity- .. another foggy brain mistake…

Hi Lucidity 🙂

I used the same emoji you used in the opening above, so to signal reciprocated friendliness, but that emoji looks upbeat and awake and that’s not how I feel this morning and recently. I feel more like 😪, 😪 and 😪- mentally tired, emotionally exhausted, sleepy, and mentally foggy.

Also, like I shared before, I’ve been using Copilot in my responses to members (not in all) since the end of last year, including during the conflict. I no longer do, so my posts are different than before, more authentic, less upbeat (when I am not upbeat, like this morning).

And now, to the content of your most recent two posts in regard to the conflict: I am glad that you learned a lot from the insights Tee and I shared in this thread, and I hope that it does help you in your continued healing journey, and hopefully, in your attempts at reconciliation with others in your life.

To read, “Thanks for allowing this all to be public so that I could learn from it too, both of you”- is nice to read. It makes me feel that maybe some good can come out of this for you, maybe for others. For me, I need a month or two- so I feel- a month or 2 of no conflict here, in the forums- so to reflect on what happened here, get more and more clarity and make it possible for what I learned- and will learn (as a result of reflecting and journaling privately)- to sink in deeply, so to make a real change in how I think, feel and act where change needs to be made, in real life and here, in the forums.

“Thank you for sharing how you came to think compassionately about the different members on this forum and that, despite feeling betrayed by me, you roused within yourself a fondness for me. Sharing so openly like that is a privilege to read, thank you ❤️”-

This is so gracious of you, Lucidity, thank you ❤️

“You are right in that by me not addressing you with my concerns directly, it would have seemed underhand to you. I can see that and I’m sorry that I hurt your feelings. I was hesitant to address you because I saw that you were not taking on board what others were saying – those who were directly involved with the misunderstanding… Facing heat like that publicly can feel lonely and frustrating… When it happened to me growing up, it felt devastating, like I was invisible and did not matter, that I was alone in my pain because others did not have the courage to offer support or even acknowledge my pain. I would not want anyone to feel like that and so that is where I was coming from.”-

I understand where you were coming from. You were not in the wrong. Looking back, I positively appreciate you standing up for Tee and Alessa.

Throughout much of the conflict, I didn’t see Tee’s or Alessa’s pain. I only saw mine. I felt attacked, persecuted.. and didn’t know it was me who has been doing the attacking. This here, what I just wrote- I need to reflect on privately for some time It wouldn’t be good for my healing process- at this point- to discuss it further here. I need to rest and reflect on my own first.

“I like you too 🙂 You have helped me in such a massive way. I have re-read one of your messages to me many times because it gave me so much clarity. It was the first time someone had so comprehensively given me a complete and rational reflection of what was going on piece-meal in my mind… Thank you for helping me to process it in the way that you did ❤️ You have helped so many people on these forums. You have a gift.”-

I like you too, Lucidity and thank you so much for writing the above. It’s amazing how during conflict, people- in general- tend to forget the good in others and focus on the bad, having a limited, negative and distorted view of the other person. Do you agree with this, Lucidity?

And regarding having a gift: well, since the end of last year, and maybe in that very message you referred to in the quote above, much of the gift was delivered by Copilot. So.. I am not taking all of the credit.

(… Let’s see (looking at the record): your first post on tiny buddha was on March 31, 2025. My first reply was on the same day, and I can easily detect Copilot in the content of the message. My second reply was just me as far as content goes. I involved Copilot just for the final grammatical/ spelling polishing of that message.)

“I hope its ok that I speak about something you addressed to Tee?… My intention was rarely to hurt others but, rather, to protect myself. On the other hand, my mums intentions were to inflict pain and suffering so, ultimately, that was the crucial difference between her and I and that is what bought me solace and allowed me to forgive myself… Sharing this so that you may take some hope from it.”- Thank you, Tee. Your input here will be part of my reflections in the next month or two and I will probably post about it when I am ready.

Thank you very much, Lucidity, for caring for me and for others, and for helping me enter the process of holding myself accountable and in so doing, furthering my own healing journey.

🙏 ❤️ Anita

Here are more perplexed face emojis: 😟 🤔 🫤 😬 🥴