Forum Replies Created
-
AuthorPosts
-
anita
ParticipantThank you for the note, Tee. I am looking forward to reading more from you ❤️
Alessa, I hear you. Safe, Brave and Kind ❤️
On the topic of quoting members, sometimes I will quote a member so to ask for clarification, such as in writing to a member: I didn’t understand what you meant here (Quote), can you explain it to me?
Or when I am so positively impressed with what a person said, I may quote him or her, such as in writing: What you wrote here (Quote) was said perfectly. It resonates so much because in my experience…
There may be other positive reasons for me to quote a member, a reason or reasons that aren’t occurring to me right now, but overall, in my replies- there will be far fewer quoting and none that is likely to create or promote conflict, definitely none that could come across as public shaming.
I will add this one point: sometimes, people will feel offended reading something that’s the farthest from being offensive. Like what I wrote so far in this point- nothing offensive about it, but someone out there reading this post may find it offensive.
I was one of the people who detected offense where there was none (in yours and Tee’s posts in the beginning of the conflict) and I will do my best to pay attention and reflect before reacting to perceived offense, to ask myself: was there real offense, or do I feel offended because something old got triggered within me.
I read about your PTSD and you getting hyper focused because of your Autism, so I am willing to completely let go and move on from any and all past conflicts and create and promote a Safe, Brave and Kind atmosphere in every space I participate in, in real-life and here.
You asked how I’m doing: exhausted, ready to continue to put all that I learned recently into practice and move on.
I wouldn’t want you to leave the forums, Alessa ❤️, nor would I want anyone else to leave. I would like more and more people to participate, all are welcome.
🌿 Anita
anita
ParticipantWe can definitely restart our conversation, Going Through Life. 😊
Tell me more and I’ll be back to you Thurs morning (Wed night here).
🌿 Anita
anita
ParticipantDear Peter:
My answer: what grows when I listen to it is what’s been neglected for too long, brotherly love, sisterly love, loving each other. Seeing the best in each other, and building on that best.
🌿 Anita
anita
ParticipantPerfectly said, Peter, all that you said.. to hold space for what’s unresolved.
Alessa, thank you for expressing just what you feel, honestly and directly.
I want you to feel comfortable, I want there to be no conflict.
Maybe we should all let go of conflicts of the past, and start anew..?
A New Beginning?
I care. I am willing. NC (No Conflict)- for Alessa’s sake, for everyone’s sake.
❤️ 🌿 Anita
September 17, 2025 at 1:56 pm in reply to: Should I Forget about him, or was he the one that got away? #449899anita
ParticipantThen here it will be, Emma. If you change your mind, we’ll go to email (I copied your email address into my personal record)
I’ll write more tomorrow.🤍 Anita
anita
ParticipantYou are very welcome, Tom. You are a good man. Remember this, it’s not just kind words on my part. It’s true.
If you would like to, when you get the chance, please tell me more in detail about that feeling of you being trapped..?
🌿 Anita
September 17, 2025 at 1:14 pm in reply to: Should I Forget about him, or was he the one that got away? #449895anita
ParticipantDear Emma:
So good to read back from you. Generally, I prefer communicating here, on the forums, better than on email, but if you still prefer email- if you feel safer there, I will email you tomorrow with a response. I didn’t yet read all of your recent post (had a long day, tired).
So, please let me know if your definite preference is email, and if it is, my next message to you will be via email (tomorrow).
Anita
anita
ParticipantDear Alessa:
I just checked the timing of your most recent post, it was submitted only 1 minute after mine. I am guessing you didn’t read my most recent reply to you (double posting).
Are you satisfied with my decision to not quote members anymore?
❤️ 🌿 Anita
anita
ParticipantDear Alessa:
In general, I understand your point, it’s a good point. You know what? I’ll stop quoting members, here and elsewhere, see how that works.
🌿 Anita
anita
ParticipantDear Jana:
If you change your mind, at any point, you are welcome to tell me here- for the first time- what you are referring to as a lot of controlling habits.
With all respect and compassion, back to you, Jana!
🌿 Anita
anita
ParticipantI am trying to understand your point, Alessa: The content of the quote (what Brandy wrote) was not “public shaming” of me? It’s me addressing her post (as part of the direct communication that you advocated for), that’s public shaming?
🌿 Anita
anita
ParticipantHello Everyone!
“Seeing the adult in the child and child in the adult is like tending a garden…”- what if the participants in this thread, current and those who may join it, all adults, enter, or reenter this garden (this thread) as children, leaving the adults behind.. Making this a sort of Garden of Eden, before God (the adult) expelled Adam and Eve (the children) from the garden..?
Just a thought.
🌿 Anita
anita
ParticipantDear Brandy:
Do you still feel the same way about the concerns you raised 8 days ago, or were some of those things said in the heat of the moment?
Anything at all that you regret saying in regard to any one of the above stated accusations?
I’m looking forward to an honest, direct and kind communication with you.
I will do my best to promote safety in this thread and everywhere else.
🌿 Anita
-
This reply was modified 1 month ago by
tinybuddha. Reason: Quoted section removed per the thread starter’s request and Anita’s agreement to stop reposting quotes like these
anita
ParticipantDear Jana:
I read all of your recent posts. One thing that I have a problem with is that your communication has been consistently vague and indirect. In regard to your most recent post in your thread “Compassion and respect during times of conflict”- I think you were talking to Alessa when using “you”. At first I thought you were talking to me. How can I respond to you when I don’t know whom you are addressing?
In the post before that one, you wrote that you will no longer accept or tolerate (1) gaslighting, (2) blaming or guilt-tripping, (3) belittling members’ pain or feelings, or (4) monitoring others (copying their threads and using them later against them).
Are you accusing me of doing all of these things? Are you accusing others as well..?
If you are accusing me of gaslighting you, can you give me just one concrete example where you felt that I gaslighted you? If you are accusing me of blaming and guilt tripping you, can you give me just one concrete example? Etc.?
If you are direct with me, I assure you it will pay out for you. I will reply kindly and honestly.
What’s clear to me is that you’ve been feeling hurt and stressed and I am very sorry that you’ve been feeling this way. I will continue to take responsibility for what I’ve been guilty of, but not for what I haven’t.
But at this point, I need to know concretely, what you are accusing me, in simple language.,. so that I can understand.. Please?
I will do my best to promote safety in this thread and everywhere else.
🌿 Anita
anita
ParticipantDear Alessa (and Everyone reading):
“You are welcome to try to engage with Brandy or Yana directly on my thread, all I ask is that the nature of thread is honoured and you help to make this a safe and brave space for everyone.”-
I will do my very best to be honest and kind, both. I will also try to keep the next posts relatively short.
🌿 Anita
-
This reply was modified 1 month ago by
-
AuthorPosts