Dear Omyk:

I really appreciate your openness in sharing what you’re going through. Your awareness of being in a liminal space—that in-between state of transition—makes a lot of sense. Change, especially emotional change, can feel exhausting when we know we need to move forward but haven’t yet figured out how.

Your insight about intensity and how it affects connection with others is powerful. I hope reflecting on it brings clarity rather than discouragement. Intense emotions don’t make you difficult—they make you deeply engaged with your own experience. Some people may struggle to meet that depth, but others will value it immensely.

Regarding your relationship with your child, I can feel the weight of your words. It’s deeply painful for a loving parent to feel rejected or indifferent treatment from their child, especially after loss. She may appear indifferent when in reality, she’s avoiding the pain of unprocessed grief in regard to her mother and grandparents.

She may be in a phase where independence feels like a priority, leading her to emotionally withdraw from you—not because she rejects you, but because she’s exploring autonomy.

I remember that you shared some time ago that your child was “completely uninterested” in keeping her mother’s belongings. There’s a difference between indifference that signals emotional withdrawal versus indifference that masks emotional difficulty. If her behavior stems from unresolved grief or personal struggles, she might not be rejecting you—she might just be processing things in her own way.

If there were pre-existing tensions or emotional disconnects before the loss of her mother, her current behavior might be a continuation of those dynamics rather than a direct rejection of you now..?

anita

Thinking about you, Laven ✨

anita

Dear Omyk: I am looking forward to read and reply to your post Tues morning (it’s Mon night here).

anita

Dear Omyk:

Welcome back to the forums! From what you’ve shared across your various threads, it’s clear that you’ve been searching for meaningful relationships—true companionship, whether through deep friendships or romantic connections—but have struggled to find and sustain them in the way you desire.

Your self-reflection raises important questions about why this has been challenging, and while there’s no single answer, here are a few possibilities to consider:

* The weight of grief & life experience – Losing your wife, along with your parents years earlier, has given you a profound emotional depth. Because of this, your approach to relationships is likely thoughtful, introspective, and deeply personal. However, not everyone may be equipped or willing to engage at that same level. Some might struggle to connect with the emotional intensity of your experiences.

* High standards for connection – You’re not searching for casual friendships or surface-level relationships—you want deep, meaningful bonds built on mutual yearning. That level of emotional intensity is rare and takes time to cultivate.

* Mixed signals in dating – You’ve expressed a desire for companionship but also hesitated in your approach to dating, sometimes expressing interest and engagement, but at other times pulling back or hesitating. These pauses may make it difficult for potential partners to gauge where you truly stand.

* Lifestyle & priorities – Between single parenting, ministry, full-time work, and personal growth, your responsibilities leave limited time and energy for relationship-building.

* Social & cultural factors – You’ve noted that loneliness is widespread, suggesting that your challenge isn’t just personal—it’s part of a larger societal issue where genuine connection is harder to find.

* Internal conflict between love & independence – You’ve voiced both a longing for companionship and a sense of relief in being single. If that tension remains unresolved, it might create hesitancy in forming deeper bonds.

None of this means you’ve “failed”—it simply means that profound relationships take time, the right circumstances, and people who are equally ready for them. You are clearly thoughtful, intentional, and willing to continue seeking connection, and that alone makes you open to receiving meaningful relationships in ways you might not yet expect.

I’d love to hear your thoughts about the above 🙂

anita

Dear Jack:

It sounds like you’re in a deeply reflective place, and I want to acknowledge how much growth you’ve undergone. Therapy has given you insight into your past wounds and patterns, and that alone is an incredible step forward.

There’s a lot to untangle here. On one hand, you’re drawn to reconnecting with your ex, now that you feel more equipped to nurture a healthier relationship. On the other, you’re feeling pulled toward new experiences—toward exploring connections you never got the chance to before. Both feelings are valid, and neither is wrong.

The truth is, reconciliation requires more than just personal growth—it also requires mutual readiness. If you reach out to your ex, it’s important to ask whether she still wants that relationship too, and if she’s in a place to reconnect. But before even getting there, the question is: Do you truly want to rekindle things for the right reasons, or are you feeling a mix of guilt, nostalgia, and uncertainty?

It’s also okay to acknowledge the curiosity you have about new experiences. If the desire for exploration feels like it would be a lingering regret, then that’s worth sitting with seriously. If you jump back into your past relationship, would that feeling dissolve, or would it eventually create resentment?

Sometimes, clarity comes when we slow down and let go of the pressure to act immediately. Maybe you don’t have to make a decision today—maybe the right answer will become clearer as you continue growing and healing.

At the end of the day, your journey is yours to define, and whatever path you choose should be one that aligns with what feels authentic to you. Whether that’s reaching out to your ex or stepping into the unknown, you deserve a relationship—past or future—that reflects the person you are becoming.

How does this sit with you?

anita

Dear S:

This sentence in your recent post stood out to me: “Always thought that being a creator of sorts, putting things out there, my only means of putting myself out there without really speaking would be the thing that would’ve helped me escape my issues.”-

It sounds like creativity has become your main way of expressing emotions—almost like a substitute for verbal communication with others. Maybe this is because, in the past, sharing your feelings didn’t go well—you felt misunderstood, ignored, or rejected.

You also wrote earlier: “Initially had some optimism when younger like anyone would, only to be met with constant disappointment… the protection mainly stems from poor experiences in expressing myself through communication with people and places I had been around, not understanding and rejection when I was open and vulnerable.”-

This suggests that when you tried to express yourself openly, negative experiences pushed you to withdraw. Now, it might feel safer to avoid deep emotional conversations and focus on art instead.

Here are a few ideas that might help:

* Practice saying your feelings out loud – You might try verbalizing your emotions to yourself, even in simple ways. Saying something like “I feel frustrated today” or “I feel tired” can help make sharing feelings more natural over time. If it feels easier, you could also record voice notes for yourself.

* Find safe places to share – Writing in a journal, continuing to post in your thread, or engaging in supportive online communities could help you get more comfortable expressing emotions in ways that feel safe.

* Recognize that communication can improve – Expressing emotions takes practice. Therapy, discussion groups, or even observing how open communicators express themselves might help you feel more confident over time.

* Don’t take rejection personally – If people have dismissed your feelings in the past, that doesn’t mean they weren’t valid. Sometimes, others just don’t know how to respond in the way you need, but that doesn’t reflect your worth.

If any of this resonates, I’d love to hear your thoughts.

anita