I want to add: when we suppress our emotions, trying not to feel them, they tend to explode or overwhelm us.. sort of demanding their 3rd dimension/ their space

Dear Going Through Life:

Let me see.. there’s SS, then your girlfriend, her best friend, let’s call her B, B’s ex-boyfriend, let’s call him E. The 4 of you went on couple trips together and you formed a close bond with E during those trips.

Next, B cheated on E and SS cheated on you (I don’t know in what order).

Next, you told E that B cheated on him, you broke up with SS, E broke up with B, and you and E’s bond deepened over the shared painful experience of being cheated on.

Next, SS called and said she misses you, then 2 nights ago, she called and texted you excessively—50 times. Her urgency was about B’s panic attacks, triggered by what you told E about B’s cheating.

Is my summary so far accurate? What is it that SS wants from you at this point.. ? Does she want you to tell E that B didn’t cheat on him, or that the cheating was not so bad.. anything like that?

I wonder how you found out that B cheated on E..?

“Yesterday Anita, I felt confident, I felt good about myself and I attracted a really wise, high vibration lady of 78 years old..”-

I like it that you felt confident and good about yourself two days ago. I hope you feel this way more and more often 😊

🤍🌿 Anita

Dear Nichole:

It can take way less time for you than it’s taken for me. I can tell you all that I learned over time and how connecting is happening for me, and you can tell me about your efforts to connect. Maybe we can help each other.. right here, on your thread?

🤍🌿 Anita

Dear Going Through Life:

I want to put more time into reading and processing your recent post, maybe go back and reread previous posts, and get back to you tomorrow morning.

The imagining her with the other guy, that sounds excruciating. I am wondering.. were you jealous in regard to SS’s sexual activity with previous boyfriend or boyfriends- before she met you?

I am asking because when I was much younger I suffered from such jealousy in regard to a guy’s activity with previous girlfriends, a sort of Retroactive Jealousy. (I think you mentioned something like that before..?) Do you relate to it and if so, when did it start?

I am asking but please feel comfortable to not answer. In whichever case, I will reread posts already submitted and any post you may add Mon morning (it’s Sun early afternoon here).

🤍🌿 Anita

Dear Nichole:

The part of your post from “Nothing in particular has made me distrust the people” to the ending, I could have written that, it’s like I wrote it. It is only in the last 10 years or so, that I started to feel connected to people. At first (in the last decade), I didn’t know how, I was clumsy, inexperienced.. and very distrustful.

I am much better at connecting now than I ever was, yet, I still make mistakes, still learning.. In a month from now, I will be better at it than I am now.

Does this resonate with you, Nichole?

🤍🌿 Anita

Dear me:

Yes, clearly she wanted to see you.. she had so much fun with you!

I suppose she is getting to know the part of you that’s a bit fearful of getting too close (in-person and long-distance)…

“I’ll try.”- that’s the best you can do..

Although Yoda said: “Do. Or do not. There is no try.” 😄

🤍🌿 Anita

Dear Going Through Life:

Nothing to apologize for, you’ve always been kind and gracious with me, thank you!

I just wish I was able to help in regard to what you are seeking (“Seeking clarity about a relationship”, the title of your thread, different relationship back in Jan 2024, yet still)

Maybe SS is conflicted too. Maybe she is also seeking clarity.

Here’s an exercise that might help at this point, if you agree with me that it might:

In a form of a letter addressed to SS, type away whatever comes to your mind (stream of consciousness writing) in regard to what it is that you are still unclear and conflicted about, tell her exactly what it is. like it is for you (no reason to worry about her response to the letter because she won’t be reading it).

What do you think?

🤍🌿 Anita