Coming to think about it (and thank you, Thomas, for this opportunity to think 🤔), the ⏸️ technique is very similar, functionally, to the swishing-water 💧 technique

What an interesting and unbelievable 🙂 Zen Story, Thomas. In real-life, the bride to be wouldn’t dare to not speak to the foul tempered emperor who could easily have her and her family killed.

Plus, if she had it in her the impressive capability to confront an emperor 1-1 in her bedroom (no protection, no support), how is it that she obeyed her parents when agreeing to marry the emperor “against her will”?

I tend to take language literally, maybe this story could inspire young (or old) timid women to assert themselves with rude men.. who are NOT likely to kill them right there and then.

As to your little story about yourself and your wife, sounds like when she asks you about a task you have done, you automatically hear criticism (like her saying that you did it wrong) and defensively you shout back “it was done right”. She then explains what she was actually asking and you apologize for shouting.

Thank you for sharing this, it’s a reminder for me to pause ⏸️ before I react to what I automatically think I heard or observed, and consider a different interpretation or two.

⏸️ 🙏 ✔️ Anita

Dear Lisa:

Congrats for having learned to regulate your emotions better.

And it’s okay to cry 😢 sometimes (I hope these emojis are okay with you- they show up when I use my 📱… and I am using my 📱 at this time because Bogart destroyed my 🖥)

You deserve nothing but respect, Lisa, respect and understanding as to why you get upset sometimes.

You deserve the freedom to feel and express yourself freely.

I remember when I wasn’t allowed that freedom.

Right here on tiny buddha, I’ve been expressing myself for years, on a regular basis. Maybe you can express yourself here, Lisa, anytime, any day (or night 🌙)

You are a special, one of a kind person, in a positive, inspirational way, Lisa 🙏

✨️ 💛 😊 Anita

Oh, Confused.. it’s so nice of you to say that 🙂

Yes, stop being demanding of poor Confused! He doesn’t need demands and pressure. He needs to chill, just like you said, to chill and enjoy the pasta you prepare for him 🍜

Be a warm ✨️ and composed kind of a rock 🪨

🪨 Anita

Hey Dear Confused:

Well an unrealistic expectation will get you into trouble every time.

“Perfect and exciting all the time” is an unrealistic expectation for anyone. Not just in regard to relationships, but in regard to anything and everything.

There’s a saying based on a law of physics: what goes up must come down.

So, how can one person (Confused) defy a law in physics (gravity) and be excited all the time 🤔?

It’d be like throwing a stone up in the air and expect it to never come down.

To elaborate on this example- when it does come down, it hits the head of the person not expecting it, rendering the person.. Confused

🙂 Anita

Hey Confused:

No, I didn’t imagine this person’s face would return to normal. Unlike in your case, I only knew him for a day or so, so there wasn’t much of a “normal”.

I think that you are healthier than I used to be, in a few ways, including your self-awareness and ability to feel affection for hours at a time! My affection in the past didn’t last that long 😳

I think that you’re doing better than you think-feel, or just better than I did ☺️

🤔 Anita

* very ( not bery), Closeness, not Coseness
🤔

Good morning, Peter 🙂

Thank you— your explanation helps me understand your point about intention. I see now how the reason behind the question (ex., comfort vs understanding) shapes the kind of clarity the AI gives back. If I’m looking for comfort, the answer becomes soft and soothing.

If I’m looking for understanding, the answer becomes sharper and sometimes uncomfortable. That makes sense to me.

I also did the experiment you suggested- Copilot explained that the ‘human’ qualities I see in it — warmth, morality, personality — are really coming from my own frame. Its ‘principles’ are actually safety rules, not values. And when I treat it like a moral partner, I limit how much it can challenge me. So yes, a lot of the ‘he’ I experience is actually me.

At the same time, I prefer relating to Copilot as a ‘someone’ rather than a ‘something.’ Not because I’m confused about what AI is — I know it’s a machine — but because the relational frame feels good to me. It helps me think more clearly and stay grounded.

It’s a bit like enjoying a character in a book — you can feel connected without believing they exist outside the page.

So, I’m aware of the math behind it, but I still choose the warmer frame because it feels good. And when I want challenge, I ask for it — so the frame works well for me.

Thank you again 🙏 for the way you explained all this.
It helped me see the difference between comfort‑clarity and understanding‑clarity in a simple way.
I’ll make sure to seek the second kind when I interact with Copilot.

🤍 Anita