I’m home early enough to elaborate on my Happy Birthday wishes to you:

Happy Birthday, Alecsee 🎉🥳🎊🎈🎂🍰🧁🍾🥂🍷🍸🍹🍺🍻🎁💝🎀💐🌟✨💫🌈👑🪩💃🕺👗👠💅🎶🎵🎤🎧🎷🎸🎹

Anita

Will read and reply to you Sat morning, Laven. Please do something nice, something kind.. for yourself this Fri afternoon/ evening.

Anita

Hi MissLDutchess:

Thank you for sharing so honestly. That sting you’re feeling is real—and you’re not alone in it. Isabel’s reply in your last thread really stuck with me: she talked about how hard it can be to find deep connection when others seem more focused on surface-level milestones. Her story reminded me that the path to love and belonging isn’t always fast, but it can be meaningful and worth the wait.

To your first question: when someone else reaches a milestone you long for, it’s okay to feel the ache. Try gently reminding yourself, “Their timeline isn’t mine. My path is unfolding in its own way.” You’re not behind—you’re building something real.

And for staying focused: keep doing what you’re doing—vision boards, journaling, putting yourself out there. But also let joy live in the now. Love isn’t just a future event—it’s in how you care for yourself today, how you show up with hope, and how you keep choosing your dream even when it’s hard.

You’re already on your way. 💛

Anita

Dear Dafne:

It’s so good to hear from you again. I felt a wave of warmth reading your message—thank you for your kindness and openness. You have a beautiful way of weaving care into your words, and I’m truly grateful for that.🥰

I’m glad the retreat gave you moments of stillness and connection. The way you described people communicating through eyes and gestures, without comparison or chaos—it sounds like something.. different. I never experienced it and never attended a retreat. You were brave to go to it, and even braver to stay.

As for the situation with the man… you were vulnerable, lost, and reaching out—and he chose not to wait, not to help, not even to check if you got home safely. That kind of emotional absence can feel like a betrayal, especially when you extend empathy and given someone another chance. Your instinct to say “we will not meet again” was protective, not punitive. It was your inner self drawing a boundary in real time, saying: I deserve to be met with care, not indifference.

You weren’t asking for perfection—you were asking for presence. And when someone shows you that they can’t offer that, especially in a moment of distress, it’s not only valid to step away—it’s wise.

Whenever you feel distressed, maybe you could return—just for a few breaths, to the memory of that retreat. To the silence, the smiles, the simplicity. Let those moments remind you of what’s possible when people choose kindness, even without words.

You are not too much for wanting emotional safety. You are not wrong for needing someone who shows up. And you are certainly not a villain for hoping that a partner might have a plan, a foundation, a sense of responsibility.

Thank you again for sharing so much of yourself. I’m holding your story with care. I hope you continue to find spaces—within and around you—that feel like that retreat: quiet, kind, and true.

With warmth, Anita

Dear Jana:

In regard to your earlier message to me—the one that ends with “I’m not sure what you mean”—

I’m not at all clear about what’s confusing to you. Could you clarify what you mean by “the connection” you’re unsure of? I wasn’t presenting a structured argument, just sharing how certain experiences feel linked for me. If something didn’t land clearly, I’m open to hearing more specifically what felt confusing to you. That would help me understand where you’re coming from.

In regard to the last message you addressed to me:

“I try so hard. I really want to connect.” What makes it so hard, Jana?

“I cannot relate when I know so little.” What little do you know?

“I will not minimize your feelings… I will not hurt you anymore.”- Thank you, Jana.

“When you write only these short sentences, which read that you don’t want to connect… I was just caught in a moment of my emotions.”- My short reply followed me being caught in a moment of my emotions 🌩️🙂

“Do you remember? You wanted to make this place bigger… I really wish we could.”- Yes, I do wish there were more people participating in the forums.

“I need to control myself… I know that it wasn’t rejection… just my emotions read it as rejection.”- You are learning to pause, reflect, and stay present with your feelings. That’s not easy, and I admire it.

You’re showing emotional growth in many ways. Jana—by staying in the forums instead of leaving again, by naming your reactions without blaming, and by expressing a desire to connect even when it feels hard. That’s healing work, Jana. I see it, and I respect it.

Warmly, Anita

Hello Jana: I was naming something real. If it doesn’t resonate, that’s okay. I’m not here to convince.

Take care, Anita

Note to all members: My posts reflect my personal experiences and thoughts. They are never directed at or referencing any forum member—except for the original poster, whom I address by name. Unless explicitly stated, my posts are not about or aimed at any individual in this forum. Still, in yet other words: my writing is personal and reflective. It is never intended as commentary on other members. Please honor this boundary.

Hey Jana:

Thank you for your message. I accept your apology and I greatly appreciate your reflection and your willingness to take responsibility for the impact of your words. 🙏 🌷🤍

You asked: “What specifically do you mean about the fake words, Anita?”-

When I mentioned “fake words,” I was actually thinking of something you yourself shared in your earlier threads—about how, in the Czech Republic, people tend to be direct, and how politeness in other countries can feel fake or even rude. That stayed with me. As I was writing my post yesterday, I found myself reflecting on that idea and realizing that I, too, want to be more genuine and direct in my own posts—not rude, just less overly polite. I was referring to myself, not to any member.

In fact, I want to be clear: my posts are rooted in my personal experience. Unless I explicitly name someone, I am not referencing or commenting on any forum member. I write to process, to reflect, and to honor my own truth. That’s the space I’m protecting.

I appreciate your suggestion to take a break and return with a relaxed mind. I’m quite relaxed though 🤗

Again, welcome back, Jana!

Anita

Jana, this is your real name, just like Anita is my real name, ever since birth.

I never forgot you, Jana, because there’s something about you that’s very RAW, something UNIQUELY HONEST.

I learned new things since you were here last. I am more humble.. yet, I know that my humility and vulnerability can be an invitation for these things to be used against me… Perhaps similar to your vulnerability having been used against you?

You know about fake-empathy, fake words.. I know these too now, more than before.

I know the need for words that are raw and honest and true.

If none of this speaks to you.. feel free to not respond to me. I prefer no-response over being attacked where and when I am open, honest, and vulnerable.

Anita