Menu

anita

Forum Replies Created

Viewing 15 posts - 121 through 135 (of 4,416 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • in reply to: Feelings for co worker? #451300
    anita
    Participant

    Dear me:

    I don’t know.. No doubt she really liked you, maybe still likes you.. but got double messages from you (the pull-push thing).

    Oh.. You like me too, this is precious.. Mother/ son like. I like that!

    🌿 Anita

    in reply to: Feelings for co worker? #451298
    anita
    Participant

    Free Spirit me (meaning you.. me). I like you just the way you are, just the way I got to know you over the years- the bee’s knees! 🙂

    in reply to: Feelings for co worker? #451296
    anita
    Participant

    Dear me:

    Well, they may be hanging out as friends. I wonder if he’ll text you while there, or share stories on Instagram or whatnot.

    ..But if she is looking to immigrate to Canada, marrying a Canadian citizen would be an attraction for her.. So, she may be interested in being more than friends..?

    in reply to: Feelings for co worker? #451294
    anita
    Participant

    Oh, yes, always looking but never committed, as in one foot in, one foot out, hedging your bets (trying to avoid risk by not choosing fully), the push-pull thing I mentioned before.

    All this is as far as I know. I may be wrong..?

    Yes, you didn’t take your shot with her, so she gave up on you and became available for someone willing to travel across the country to see her. Right?

    in reply to: Feelings for co worker? #451292
    anita
    Participant

    Yes, I would cancel the trip if I was you because she’s been ignoring you lately AND she’s about to spend time with another guy in Montreal. My hope for romance between you and her has expired tonight 🙁

    “Oh you know me.”, meaning..?

    in reply to: Feelings for co worker? #451290
    anita
    Participant

    Still, “friends” or not, it hurts a bit, I imagine.. Maybe you can find a local gal that you will like and who would like you back.. locally..?

    in reply to: Feelings for co worker? #451288
    anita
    Participant

    Dear me:

    I am sorry, that probably stings, does it?

    The guy from work is flying 3 hours to see her on a date???

    in reply to: A Personal Reckoning #451287
    anita
    Participant

    Hi Alessa:

    Thank you for the support and encouragement ❤️

    Today was- still is- a bit of a ☀️ and lots of clear sky. I am grateful for that!

    * Dear Tee: I’ve been thinking about you today, hoping you are okay..?! Still 🤞

    🫶 ❤️ Anita

    in reply to: Feeling behind in life at 27 #451274
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Eva:

    You wrote: ” I hate my life right now, and I think of ending it because I can’t see a solution to my problems”-

    I hear how heavy things feel right now. When life hurts this much, it can feel like there’s no way out — but there are people who care and want to help you through this.

    You don’t have to figure everything out today. You don’t have to carry this alone.

    🌍 No matter where you are, there are people trained to support you — gently, without judgment. You can find someone to talk to here:

    https://findahelpline.com — just type in your country

    https://www.befrienders.org — emotional support in 30+ countries

    https://www.7cups.com — free, anonymous chat with trained listeners

    You matter. Your pain matters. And there is help. I’m here, and I believe in your right to stay.

    🫶🕯️Anita

    in reply to: Feeling behind in life at 27 #451273
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Eva:

    I am sorry that you’re feeling so poorly, but I am glad that you chose to express yourself here.

    You mentioned you live in a country where there aren’t many opportunities. I don’t remember if you mentioned what country that is (in your previous thread)..?

    🤍🌿 Anita

    in reply to: Stressed and anxious #451272
    anita
    Participant

    Dear q:

    You don’t sound like a broken record at all, not to me!

    The way I see it, your emotions need the space to fully be, not suppressed, or ignored. The need full expression, so please give your emotions about your ex (and about anything at all) the opportunity to express more!

    I think that peace will come when you express more.

    🤍🌿 Anita

    in reply to: Too invested in others- feeling tired of that #451270
    anita
    Participant

    How are you, Milda?

    in reply to: Stressed and anxious #451269
    anita
    Participant

    Dear q: Thank you 🙂. There’s no personal message option here.. You feel uncomfortable chatting about it here, I suppose.. What is the topic, in general, if you can share here?

    🤍🌿 Anita

    in reply to: İf anyone says spirituality is… #451268
    anita
    Participant

    Dear James:

    First thing this morning, I want to meditate a bit on something you wrote on Sept 1, in your thread “When Consciousness Wears the Face of a Lover”:

    “Love is the highest and purest service we can offer to humanity. It’s not about recognition, reward, or doing things for show—it’s about giving, understanding, and being fully present for others. When we act from love, every small gesture, every word, every act of kindness becomes meaningful. Helping others with love is not just about changing their lives, it transforms us as well.

    “Love sees beyond faults, beyond appearances, beyond judgment. It connects us to the essence of people, to their struggles, their joys, their humanity. When we serve from love, we serve without expectation, without ego, without thinking “I am doing something great.” The act itself becomes the gift, and the impact spreads silently, like a ripple in water.”-

    Beautifully said. “Being fully present for others”- how do you do it, in practical ways?

    I am not good at being fully present for others , and I want to get better or more skillful at it. I just looked it up (AI). It says that among other things, it means “Holding space without rushing to fix, explain, or bypass”, which means…

    “Holding space: Creating a safe, nonjudgmental container for someone to feel, speak, or process — without interruption or agenda.

    “Without rushing to fix: Not jumping in with solutions, advice, or action. Trusting that the person’s feelings are valid, even if unresolved.

    “Without rushing to explain: Not intellectualizing or rationalizing their pain. Avoiding phrases like ‘It’s probably just stress’ or ‘This happens to everyone.’

    “Without bypassing: Not skipping over the hard feelings with positivity or spiritual platitudes. No ‘Everything happens for a reason’ or ‘Just stay grateful.’

    “Emotionally attuned example: ‘I hear you. That sounds really heavy. I’m here with you.’ (Instead of: ‘You should try yoga’ or ‘Maybe it’s not that bad.’)

    “Why it matters: When someone is in pain, they don’t always need a fix — they need to feel seen, held, and honored. Holding space is a form of emotional sovereignty: it trusts the other person’s process without hijacking it.” (AI).

    James, on Aug 30, you wrote something in your thread “Not me”, that stayed with me ever since, something I repeat to myself every day. You wrote:

    “Radical Acceptance is not just about accepting situations outside of you, it’s about accepting what is happening inside you/ your thoughts, emotions, fears, and impulses without resistance. It’s a full acknowledgment that life, including all feelings, is unfolding exactly as it is.

    “When I say, ‘When fear comes, you don’t resist it; you let it be seen,’ what I mean is: notice the fear fully, without trying to push it away, judge it, or fix it. In practice, this looks like allowing yourself to feel the sensation of fear in the body, observing the racing thoughts, the tension, the urge to control without identifying with it. You don’t become ‘ the fear”; you simply let it appear and pass through. Pure Consciousness itself watches, and the fear begins to lose its power because there is no resistance feeding it.

    “Similarly, ‘When anger arises, you don’t judge it; you allow it to pass like a cloud’ means that you stay with the moment, letting the emotion move through your body and mind without clinging. The inner dialogue is simple: ‘This is here, it is happening, and it is passing.’ There is no need to argue with it, suppress it, or attach meaning to it. Pure Consciousness supports the release because you see clearly that the anger is temporary, not you, and has no ground once you let it be.

    “… When you allow yourself to fully face that fear, without trying to flee, control, or resist, it transforms… In essence, radical acceptance is… allowing every feeling, thought, or uncertainty to rise and fall without clinging. In doing so, the ego loses its grip, and the mind and body act naturally, smoothly, and intelligently.”-

    So, the Ego is the part of a human that resists reality (the what-is), suppresses it, tries to ignore it, or magnify it, or make it.. go away.. or desperately, unintelligently try to change it?

    In the original post in this thread (Sept 25), you wrote: “Spirituality is the complete death of the self, therefore your experiences, beliefs, ideas, and everything you ‘think’ you are”-

    Is it also the complete death of your beautiful thoughts about Love and Radical Acceptance..?

    * Peter, and everyone who may be reading this post, your thoughts on the above are welcome 🙂

    🤍🌿 Anita

    in reply to: A Personal Reckoning #451255
    anita
    Participant

    Anita (A): Hi, dear Little Girl Anita (LGA)

    LGA: hi

    A: How are you?

    LGA: I am fine.

    A: Is this something new, feeling fine?

    LGA: Yes, pretty much. I think that you (A) and I (LGA) are the same person.

    A: Tell me..?

    LGA/ A: We are the same person.

    A/LGA: We were lost for so long.

    LGA/A: We were F.O.C.U.S.E.D on the wrong person, our mind skewed, twisted by a twisted person.

    And I’m okay with calling my/ our mother twisted.

    The COST to us.. decades of lost living.

    And not a unique story, so much loss in this often twisted world.

    LGA: I think I grew up. I mean I am not reaching out to her (mother) anymore.

    No longer reaching out to Mother, I am no longer Little Girl reaching out to Big Mother.

    A: any sadness?

    Little Big Girl Anita (LBGA): No, it’s the release of sadness. All these DECADES, more than half a century (a freaking long time .. angry) I took her behavior personally, as if it meant I was Shameful, I was Guilty, I was Worthless, I was Bad… While All Along, her words, her behavior.. had NOTHING AT ALL to do with me, with who I was.

    Her words, her behavior had nothing to do with who I was, and everything to do with who she was, and with whom the grown-up people in her life were (her parents, the people who neglected or abused her before I was even born).

    My WHOLE LIFE I reacted to a person/ a legacy in which I had no part.

    This all means that the D.I.S.C.O.N.N.E.C.T between my mother and I was .. unbridgeable.

    And I held on to her, trying to reach her in a thousand and one ways.

    A: You are getting emotional, I sense it, tears in your eyes.

    LBGA: I can handle it. I feel like an adult now.. no longer reaching out to a previously perceived Goddess Mother.

    A: So, you and I are one.

    Yes. It amazes me that ALL THOSE YEARS at 20, 30, 40, 50.. All along I was nothing but a little girl reaching out to Mother-Goddess, trying to. for once, “make mother LOVE ME! Make her.. make her… Make her love me..

    Oh, pretty please, make her LOVE me..!

    (this is LGA talking).

    (Whomever is talking now, it’s me, Anita, making it raw):

    I don’t really want to say my age.. It’s been SIXTY whole years of little girl Anita reaching out/ seeking-hoping- will do anything for mother’s love.

    Not available for me, but my goodness, the DESIRE for her love has been so strong, so enduring.

    And as strong, as 6-decade long enduring, this desire can never be satisfied.

    She’ll never love me *tears

    LGA: Why won’t she love me???

    A: (thinking.. trying not to intellectualize/ rationalize)…

    She wouldn’t- couldn’t love you/ me- couldn’t, wouldn’t because…

    Because.. help me LGA-

    LGA: Because for her, I wasn’t even there. There was no M.E. No Anita. I WASN’T EVEN THERE. I DIDN’T EXIST. There was only her. No me.

    A: Ah.. True. For her, there was no Anita.

    I mean, true, 100 percent true: in her presentation, in her perception there was no Anita, only her.

    LGA (I don’t know who is whom): All these SIX decades, I was after someone who couldn’t/ wouldn’t even ACKNOWLEDGE me as a separate person.. as anything separate/ independent of she, SHE, SHE/ HER, she-she-she only one reality.

    A: Yes.. Just that. yes, 100 % narcissistic, 0% Anita, 100% Mother (Ima).

    No Anita is allowed, no Anita is welcomed.

    LGA: only her?

    A: Her and no one else.

    A: That’s what narcissism is about.. Only Me and No One Else. Tee said it. She’s our friend. The narcissistic mother said: you can trust no one. She was right: I couldn’t should not trust HER. But I can- and should trust someone who does see me.

    Anita

Viewing 15 posts - 121 through 135 (of 4,416 total)
Life feeling heavy? Get When Life Sucks: 21 Days of Laughs and Light. A tiny daily break from all the stress.I Need That
I Need That