Hello Pat.
Boy I have been there, I was also once very scared and would do anything to keep the peace and not to confront someone, it scared me so much! And like you , I hated the way I was living I felt weak, and like a doormat, so I decided to change. So many people would remind me of what I used to be that I could not change at all it kept on scaring me. But I read once, that when you are not comfortable with how you are acting, that means that you are not suppose to act that way. So deep down inside of you there is this confident , strong amazing person but you just have to find them. What I did was first I tried to decide exactly the person I wanted to be, all the qualities I would have, how I would look, how I would carry myself, and that worked really well , as for now I was aware of exactly what I wanted so that is something I would try. Try these exercises http://toknowthyself.org/know_yourself_in_seven_weeks/know_yourself_week_1 . After that I put steps on how I could be this person , i would search online for example , “how to stand up for yourself” “how to be loyal” “how to be confident” or sometimes more specific things like “what to do when..” that way I had all the tools I needed to become the best version of myself , I also wrote down a list of morals , principals ,values, and priorities just so I knew exactly who I was and how I wanted to react with everything I did try this out http://liveboldandbloom.com/free-starter-kit , it is an amazing free kit that really helped me because it has questions and a list of values . Next I would keep track of everything I did, from the way I acted to the way I reacted, I also made a list of goals to achieve and made sure I would do them everyday , even if it was something small like more eye contact I still gave myself credit for that. I would also always listen to inspiring things such as Joel osteen , even if you are not a christian you can still learn from what he says he is AMAZZING! just look him up on youtube and listen to one Sermon and you will be listing to all of them, he is so inspiring . Also I would listen to Ralph smart a youtuber who is also very inspiring, Louis hay, Oprah’s life class, and many more (all for free off of youtube) . If you just listen to them once a day for about 3 weeks you will see how your life will change into something more than you could ever imagine . Also I loved to do guided meditation for confidence, power, strength, happiness, peace and self hypnosis because they are powerful and it shows you how your inner guru is so strong . I would suggest you read ” I can make you confident” by Paul Meckena which comes with a hypnosis CD it was amazing as well and helped a lot. He also has I can make you rich, I can make you thin, and a bunch more which all come with CD’s ( my fav part) . Anyways I hope this helped! If you have any more q’s let me know 🙂

Hello Penni,
It is obvious why you are getting angry and more frustrated lately , you are overwhelmed with people , we all need time alone, time to re connect to ourselves and calm down for a bit, so don’t be too hard on yourself , no wonder you can’t stand complainers because you are just so overwhelmed . What you can do is , you could try guided meditation if you haven’t already , that is much easier for me than just quiet meditation or you could try guided self hypnosis which both are easier to do than just to sit and be silent. If you are not interested in that you could look for a hobby such as painting , reading, some form of a sport, blogging, cooking, writing, dancing, home movies, musical instruments, crafting, and the list goes on. Because having a hobby or something you are interested in , is kind of a meditation because you forget the rest of the world and just focus on what you are doing and it can actually help you relax your brain and gather your thoughts. Don’t feel guilty about taking time off for yourself because when you are having time for yourself you are doing it for others as well, it helps you become a nicer more happier person because once you are happy and at peace with yourself you can give happiness and peace to the world, so never feel guilty for taking time off or telling someone you are busy , because in order for you to give back to them fully , you will have to recharge!
Hope I helped !

• This reply was modified 10 years, 4 months ago by Alpal.

Hello there Savannah ,
It is an amazing journey finding your true self and changing for the better. I have been doing this for about 3 years now and just this year did I really feel a change. It took ages for me to realize what I did not like about myself and even longer to practice the new me. What might work is if you sat down with yourself and start to think of all the people you admire and why you admire them. Then you will see what you like in others is what you want/wish you were like (at times) and also what you hate in others sometimes is a reflection on something you have a problem with. Another thing that might work is just simply defining what you wish you could be like and start searching for ways to be like that certain somebody. The ideal YOU . Now don’t try too hard to be somebody you are not, when I first started I wanted to be a serious person that people were scared of, but the more I tried to practice that the more I realized that it wasn’t me , and then I accepted the fact that I was a hyper/full of energy kind of person and learned to love it . So it is all about first deciding what you want to be like , then trying that stuff out and seeing what the REAL you is all about, sometimes seeing what your strengths and weaknesses are will help , make your strengths stronger, and work on your weaknesses, you might not know it at first it takes time to know yourself and to grow, you’re gonna need a lot of alone time, but trust me it will be worth it! You are not really changing yourself, you are just fixing the REAL you into an AMAZING IDEAL you! Good luck I hope your journey is as fun as mine is 🙂

Hey liam,
Personally I’m not into the whole social networking thing anyways, I feel like it can bring a lot of negative emotions and fake ones as well. You see other people and think their lives are just so perfect and start comparing it to yours. And no matter how hard you try you still do it subconsciously, “don’t compare your insides to other peoples outsides” . I feel like being “too close” to my friends is never healthy that way we have nothing to talk about when we are together other than , what this person posted or what that person posted, plus I like to have a little mystery in all my relationships as well as leaving my social world for REAL life cuz with me I really enjoy being alone anyway. also So many fake accounts go up everyday as well starting all kinds of bullying and issues for people, so in my opinion as a fresh new start for you , I would delete the facebook, I just think it does bring a lot of negative emotions into our life and can frustrate us so why not just get rid of it? If there is someone you need to keep contact with there is always skype where you can only talk to people when you need to 🙂

You are just gonna have to be patient see what happens and what life has to offer for you both , men always need to establish themselves before taking anything else in their lives to the next level. Don’t worry so much about his past and instead try to encourage him and stand by him to keep him going so he can do his best, a little bit of encouragement goes a really long way.

Hey there, that is a really interesting question that really makes me think , I really do believe that we are responsible for almost everything in our life, because we are our thoughts, we are the ones who decide how we re act to things, yes sometimes some emotions come naturally but it is then that we need to hold this emotion and get it out of our system ! “if you don’t like something change it , if you can’t change your attitude” Same goes with people, some people in our lives are REALLY negative and just bring you down all the time, what I do with these kinds of people is either , try to talk to them and change the way they act, or distance myself from them. because in the end how they feel and act has nothing to do with me and is nothing I can really change.Some people hurt you or change who you are as a person, but remember to only let them help you grow , instead of letting them bring you down and change you in a negative way. I do believe that people around me have influenced the person I am today , but it was me who decided to let them influence me in a positive way then in a negative way, trust me you can make negative out of the good and positive out of the bad, But happiness is essential in all of our lives and if that means living alone for the rest of your life, so be it !

I can tell you one thing, he does NOT deserve you , and you must let him go or at least let him think you did. It is time you focused on loving you more than anything because in the end you are all you will ever have. I knew someone very close who was going through the exact same thing she begged him to stay but he insisted that he wanted to be with this other girl. Eventually this “other girl” left him and he realized the mistake he made and what he lost. But by the time he realized that it was too late. So one thing I can guarantee you is that he will be back one day , but by then you will be so IN LOVE with yourself that you will have realized that you deserve much better than him. And with an amazing heart like yours one day you will find someone who appreciates you and treats you like a queen. By the way , this person I told you about is very happy now and is in an amazing relationship , she learned to love herself and always tried to stay busy with activities she loved to do like volunteering in an animal shelter, helping others and having her own hobbies. You should try that and always remember the greatest love you will ever have is with yourself !;)