Hi Olivia

When you are making a life changing decision, the foremost person of concern is self only. Unfortunately, all our loved ones are interlinked with us somehow and someone or the other is bound to be hurt in the process whether we like it or not.

As for “S”, he deserves to know the truth about your feelings and your desire to move on to experience life. If the love is true between the two of you, you will come back together eventually. However, to avoid hurting him or causing a rage in him, you cant run away from this situation.

There are many ways of doing this but I will share the one that i have used in the past. Have some family support around and let someone close know that you will be moving on from “S”. This is to protect yourself. If there are no safety concerns, send heaps of positive energy to “S” before you discuss the topic and go openly into the conversation.

Sending you heaps of unconditional love and positive energy. Divine light is with you wherever you choose to go and whatever you choose to do.

J

Thanks Mark and Justice.

Hi Ainka,

Sorry to hear about your emotional abuse.

Until you hit rock bottom and come to an acceptance that “enough is enough”, you wont be able to move on from your troubled past. Like Mark said, everyone has their own prescription for solving their issues. You need to decide if you are ready to let go of your past in the first place. Once you are ready for healing your wounds, the help will appear and show you the right path. But you gotta be ready and ask the universe for help.

Few thoughts that may help add clarity to your situation and you are more than welcome to trial some of the suggestions below to help you move forward.

– emotional abuse often stems from an underlying lack of self-love or appreciation. We are hard on ourselves and it flows on to others. The roots of this can often be found in the childhood. We feel we are not good enough for many reasons and so we let others manipulate us or abuse us emotionally.
– however, at the end of the day, our feelings and our life are our own property. No one can make us feel in a certain way or make us do things, which is against our wish (except for parents when we are young).
– in the spiritual world, we are 100 % responsible for everything that happens to us, which means, we also have a choice of letting go of hurts, resentment, anger, hatred etc. For many people, this is easier said than done as they are constantly blaming others for their pain without understanding the true essence of this life and the universal consciousness.

I have personally used the following tools to assist me in the process of self-loving (although I am still a work in progress like most ):

– self loving or nurturing involves accepting yourself the way you are; loving yourself unconditionally and forgiving yourself for all the pain you have created for yourself.
– Creating an exceptional life by louise hay and Cheryl Davidson is a good start – it has a lot of positive affirmations and good stuff to start us on the journey of self-love
– Meditation and Yoga
– Gratitude Journal and practicing “letting go of resentment” every day
– Writing down your feelings about what is working in life and what is not. Things which are not working are usually out of our control. Once you accept this, it will be easier to accept yourself
– Smile, Smile and more Smiles
– Doing only things that you are happy to do – first step to accepting yourself. Your mind / heart, thoughts and actions need to be aligned. For example – you offer to sort out other person’s mess but in your heart you are cursing the person – this creates a conflict at an Universal energy level. Like attracts like. So the more you are misaligned in your thoughts and actions, the more you attract of the same.
– Everyone is imperfect including myself – helped a lot in accepting myself
– My daily mantra: I accept myself the way I am, I forgive myself for all the intentional and unintentional pain I have caused myself and I love myself unconditionally.

Best wishes,

J

• This reply was modified 10 years, 9 months ago by @Jasmine-3.

Thanks Ruminant and Matt.

Anyone,

I have read your replies to others on their issues and you seem to provide a quite sound advice. However, when it comes to your own life, you appear to be helpless and looking for advice on matters, which only you can sort out. This shows to me that there may be a disconnect in how you perceive self and others. Many a times, we are not able to have the self insight to realise that we are the instigators of our own problems and professional therapy can help with that. You have been through a lot it seems – divorce, family issues, ex-lesbian partner issues and your fear of weekends and being away from people etc. You are only 28.

You need to take the chill pill and concentrate on your life rather than others. Sort yourself out. Happiness and peace lies within and not outside.

When you take the advice of others to sort your personal issues out, there is a high chance that the problem will not resolve as the advice was provided by a person who has a different “life experiences filter” on. We all have different capacities to deal with the curve balls that life throws at us. Some are good at dealing with it and others are not. Listen to your own heart and create a resolve. However, if you are only attention seeking and need to do something with your spare time, keep posting on this forum and asking for input.

God bless you !

J

Hi Julie527

I am sorry for the hardships that you are going through.

Julie, if someone was to ask you the same question that you have asked on this forum, what would be your response ? Be honest and write the responses down. This is the same advice you need to follow.

Everyone on this forum can try to provide an answer to your “why” but no one will come close to the real answer that you are capable of coming up with.

Just some thoughts, which may add clarity to your situation:

– in the spiritual world, everything happens for a reason. Everyone comes into our life for a reason. Every incident occurs to teach us a life lesson. The lessons to be learnt by each one of us are : forgiving self and others for all the pain; accepting self and others as we are; and loving self and others unconditionally. These lessons are very profound but as we start on the journey to embrace them, life becomes more joyful and peaceful.

– negativity breeds negativity and thats why, sometimes it can feel that life is a challenge or a constant battlefield. To change this around, you will need to embrace positivity and look for a hidden blessing in these tough times. I can assure you that in a few years, you will be recounting your blessings that these times will bring.

– this affirmation comes to mind for you: “it is all happening for my highest good and the universe is providing for my every need. I am safe. I am loved by the universe”. You may choose to start practising this affirmation few times a day every time you feel down and need a lift. Believe in every word of this affirmation. My heart says that it will bring joy and happiness in your life sooner rather than later.

Sending you heaps of unconditional love and acceptance.

Stay positive. You are worth it.

Cheers

J

Hi Dan

Sorry to hear about the resentment and anger that you have been living with for the past couple of years.

I am glad to hear that you are ready to free yourself and now the magic will happen. All the healing that you need to do will come to you.

Just a few things that may help to bring clarity to your mind and situation:

– you know that anger, hatred and resentment is not healthy but you believe that your ex partner is responsible for it. This is not true in a spiritual sense. We are 100 % responsible for all our pain, miseries and sorrows. Your ex partner has done what she may be programmed to do for whatever reasons but you have allowed that pain to enter in your life. No one has the capacity to hurt us or harm us emotionally without our permission.

– once you are able to accept that our feelings and emotions are our own property and not something inflicted by others, you will figure out that it is not her who needs forgiving. You need to forgive yourself for causing all this pain over the last few years. You need the healing first instead of her. When you meditate, pls send healing to yourself and every cell which resides in your body and see the magic healing occur slowly but surely :).

– we landed on this planet on our own and will leave alone at the time of death, which means that everyone is on an individual journey. We cant change how people are around us or what they do with others. However, we can control our thoughts, reactions and actions to bring the most peace, love and happiness into our lives. Once our lives are filled with positivity and divinity, everything around us becomes the same.

– the purpose of every being is to be happy, loving and peaceful all the while enjoying this life’s journey. Nothing is permanent.

With this ending note, I send heaps of positive energy your way and can clearly visualise all your hatred, resentment and anger melting away including any dis-ease that you may have inherited while feeling this way.

Cheers

J

Hi Sanjay K

Anxiety is a big topic and there is no magic cure. Being an introvert is not a condition. It is who you are and there are many successful and happy introverts in this world.

Can I suggest that if you are spiritually inclined, you have a look at the youtube videos by BK Shivani. She does lectures in English as well as her native language. Her discourses provide a simple and practical solution to all life’s issues or dilemmas. You will love her.

Best wishes

J

🙂
Thats one strategy, which will work temporarily in this situation.
Why dont you take this opportunity to develop a spam filter for your mind so that in future, none of the undesirable situations create any headaches for you ? Become in control and tell yourself how special and awesome you are everyday.
Cheers
J

Hi Anyone

Sending you loads of positive wishes and hoping that you are over your headache / Heartache.

Just a thought: no one has the capacity to play with your mind or feelings. This choice is in your hands only. Just in the same way, no one can force you to eat a certain food that you dislike or wear a certain piece of clothing you despise etc. Our mind is a powerful tool. We can either use it to think negatively or positively as long as you remember that like attracts like at an Universal consciousness level. So if you think negative, you attract more of the same and vice versa.

Go and listen to some nice music or ring up a good mate and remember the good things that have happened in life. Create some happy memories. Be kind to yourself, pls !!

Cheers

J