Forum Replies Created
Charlotte, you don’t have to suffer with depression, which is actually – desire and rage repressed!
it is the energetic and emotional overload in your body which is being stuck in your body and not being released – it like being constipated.
Exercise is really good start, but you also need to release the rage and anger and maybe guilt, shame and sadness you have stuck in your body which is clouding your mind like a fog – this cannot be thought our of… scream, shout, write a journal – write letters to anyone who has hurt you or pissed you off – dont send them, just burn them. Scribble, dance, or beat up your bed with a pillow – its all about physical, creative expression of the pain and dark stuff – its toxic poison and needs to be got rid of.
if you need more help – please come see me – http://www.rediscoverthemagic.com
It comes down to learning to listen and trust your instinct, intuition and gut, heart – that inner voice…
Good way to practice to really connecting to your body and feeling your way through your day – checking out does this feel right for me or not – with everything( you have to slow down a bit)
Usually feeling wrong is a heavier sensation and right lighter, bubbly, exciting, slightly scary or exhilarating…take a bit of practice to understand your bodies language – your GPS system.
When you meet the one where you know – there are no doubts – nothing can shift the feeling of rightness even if it looks totally bonkers!
But there are many loves along the way to the right person for you, because you must both be ready and everyone you meet teaches you something.
Hope that helps
http://www.rediscoverthemagic.comDecember 3, 2013 at 6:09 am in reply to: Finding out who you are with or without boyfriend? #46130
I just want to say that I think everyone is giving you the same great advice – to follow your intuition/instinct/gut is how we are supposed to live and if we cant honour that completely without shame then we are not really being honest in a relationship anyway…
You are very young and still finding yourself and that is a wonderful journey – trust that you can be alone and that your intuition or gut is on the nail… LOve does come in many forms and what may have been right in the beginning has changed and you have both changed and that is OK – now maybe its time to learn that is OK to let go and love yourself more…xx
Im going to sound really hard, but I can see there have been lots of great suggestions for directing her to getting help.
Someone holding their life and potential suicide over you is ABUSE!!!! It is mental and emotional abuse… Sadly you are in an a painful relationship which mirrors how she feels about herself – she does not take responsibility for her well being and you play out how you feel about yourself that you have to be of use and taking care of someone else to exist.
I have worked with many people in my work who dare suicidal and most people who talk about don’t want to really do it…
If she is that suicidal that if anything changes in her life she will kill herself intentionally or by accident then sadly she needs to be sectioned.
Get professional help rand remember her therapist will be aware of mental state and clearly she has had a close attachment with the therapist) – do not let anyone tell you you have to stay in this relationship – it is abusive, controlling and seriously unhealthy.
If someone actually wants to end their life, they will find away…
She needs to find herself and own her power and the last thing she needs is you playing out daddy to keep her small and powerless and enabling her behaviour and avoidance of living.
The greatest act of love is to let go and let someone feel their pain and grow through it. – give her love and yourself by letting this situation go!
I hope you can be brave for your both sakes…
I can help you as a professional….
Please come to my site http://www.rediscoverthemagic.com – I work with women and your rage is totally understandable!
I do not believe in anger management – you need to not be afraid of power and learn how to use it appropriately as it is very much there for a reason and it is clear that your childhood should it to be a dangerous thing and it is if you are not in charge of it and avoid it.
Jo Warwick MBACP – ACCRED
Therapist and Healer
I’m sorry for your hurt, but firstly I must say that anger and tears are all natural processes of grief and it has nothing to do with being better person or not.
Grief is an opportunity to grow and we must accept it all forms. The intensity will happen because you keep trying to brush it away and BE STRONG! .
it is better to accept and let it flow.
You have a family so it is best to hold it together when around your children and then release it all out everyday giving yourself 30-1 hour a day alone to rant, beat up your bed, sob until snot pours out of your nose and let go..and then get back control and get on with your day.
You will then start to heal. We cannot get to peace and acceptance without walking the rocky road of grief – there is no bypass. It is your lesson to learn that you don’t have to be perfect or be strong and not have feelings. Learn to be real.
You are not in control of life or other people and this is the feeling which is probably causing you the most pain.
I would make a guess that you are usually a good girl – in control, organised and in charge and so learning to let go is your life lesson.
Please head over to my site as I work with women and you may find what I have to say really hits the nail on the head for you? http://www.rediscoverthemagic.com
Jo Warwick ~ MBACP – Accred
TherapistOctober 24, 2013 at 8:58 am in reply to: Feeling like I have lost the love of my life and I know it is my fault. #44292
All Im going to say is come visit my site
Set Yourself Free ~Become Your Own Woman
I have worked with so many women like you and firstly let me say ~ you are not bad and neither is he!
You haven’t ruined anything… you are not perfect, you both made mistakes and you are still very young.
What makes me most sad is that I would put a £1000 on me being able to help you heal the pain you have been in physically.
Its rage and desire to grow and be seen and become a woman being repressed and it was eating away at your stomach!
What you were crying out for was SPACE and that was what you got in the end..
Please come visit my site, so that you can get the professional help you deserve you come into your power and mature into a secure confident young woman who know her worth !
Jo xOctober 24, 2013 at 8:50 am in reply to: Totally Stuck – Not Sure What To Do In Relationship #44291
Sounds like you know truly what is and isn’t right for you – your just ignoring it !
Drinking problems – not matter how nice someone is – is about their repression of desire and fears. They rely on alcohol to numb the feelings so they can avoid them and not come into being in their power.
You can simple cant have vava voom without their being an equal match of desire – its chemistry.
The question is why are you willing to wait and waste your life on something that is not matching you equally and accept nice instead of incredible?
The right one and real love is the bees knees if you brave enough to to say I deserve that!
But I wonder if you think you have to settle and fix him as something wont come along?
If you decide you do then head over and pick up my free – Dont Screw It Up – Perfect Relationship Cheat Sheet in the Projects That Need Support Section/Relationship Therapist – in this Forum
Thanks for this – I wasn’t sure where to put it…:-)
Jo xOctober 9, 2013 at 3:58 am in reply to: long distance relationship – I don't know what to do and it hurts so much #43465
I’m so sorry you are struggling and this is heart breaking…
You mention that he is 19 years older than you – he knows what he is doing… He is an adult and he seems to be withdrawing which is what emotionally immature men do – avoid when they cant face saying the truth that something is over! – he is wanting you to end it possibly.
You mentioned that he ha not been emotionally stable – this is not your job to heal or fix or solve – this is not 50 shades of Grey!
You are a gorgeous young woman who is meant to be spreading her wings and embracing the world and having FUN!!!!
You mention that you have been depressed before – depression is the result when we repress our desire for life and desire to grow and be bigger!
Stop trying to be small!
You deserve better than this, but I feel you are not aware of this…
Its wonderful that you fell in love but we do out grow people and experiences until we are ready to meet someone who is are equal and wants us to be the strongest, most confident version of ourselves – not polyfiller to their emotional problems.
You need to take action and own your power in this situation and your life ( Im hearing some great stuff about college etc) but at this moment sadly I hear you are being a victim to his drama games and selfish hurtful behaviour!
Its time to grow and become the young woman you are truly destined to be – fabulous!!!
Jox (PS: I am therapist)
Unlock Your Feminine Power ~ Become Your Own Woman
Happy birthday – remember birthdays are about the day you were born into YOUR life – your one special life and your limited time to live it as full as you want as the woman you want to be and I hope love and care for….
When people are hurt they say mean things – let it go… walk away..
Time and space will give you new perspective and let the wound heal…
He doesn’t want closure – ( he was having a tantrum) and he wants to keep you in some little drama game with him – it keeps the relationship going ~ this is not bad or good, its just sadly what people do when they haven’t matured.
Let it go…. his stuff not yours….
You are fabulous – you just need to know it and find it in yourself..turn your attention to people and experiences which make you feel pleasure, joy and sparkly and let them fill you up with loving energy…
There are gorgeous loving men out there and they will find you when you love yourself, as though every day is your birthday!
I am sorry that you are struggling and it all seems a bit confusing…
What I notice is that there seems to be a disconnect with your desire and passion which is where our strength, self respect and creativity comes from…
I hear that it is associated with being sordid/bad or escapism( the affair) instead of something you are allowed to just be as a woman.
You seem to want to keep everything safe( no sexual or passionate) – friends only with your husband and your former lover…
I would suggest instead of using alcohol to mask your feelings of desire which you clearly feel bad about – sit, spend time with you and start being loving to yourself – stop avoiding the one relationship that matter above all…and let go of the guilt of being powerful, sexual and passionate!
Remember this was what nature intended and you are incredible and its your gift to the world to shine brightly!
It is OK to out grow people, relationships etc and I would you know what you have out grown in your life and your scared of being bigger…
Jox ( ps: I am a therapist)
http://www.rediscoverthemagic.comJune 18, 2013 at 1:47 am in reply to: I don't feel good about myself unless I am in a relationship #37135
Its great to see all the lovely responses people have given you and I hope it helps. If you decide that you need more professional help, I would suggest coming over to http://www.rediscoverthemagic.com . I am a specialist in this area. I would agree that there are a few different things going at this moment and grieving is part of that, but I would also suspect that you and your ex have been in a merged – parent/child relationship. Simply we become one person instead of two independent individuals because we haven’t been ready to be independent and individual – there are many reasons for this but let me just say simply its developmental. We get stuck and cling to other people always wanting to be rescued by a mummy or daddy.My latest post on my site is all about being a GOOD GIRL wanting to please daddy and how we can mature into strong, resilient, confident, open loving women. If this touches a nerve please check it out – I can help. Also you will see in free events in this forum I am running a free healing webinar tomorrow – wed, which will help. All if this said it doesnt mean there isnt love between you but you the relationship dynamic is not healthy and adult and that can only change by loving yourself and becoming independent and secure…Jo x
Hey Guys, I would recommend checking out my mate Sophie’s site: http://beafreelanceblogger.com/ she has list of people hiring for freelance/paid writing gigs..
Also I’ve found Odesk very helpful for find freelance people for all aspects of my business..
Hope thats useful… Jo 🙂
Hi Neuman, I wanted say that although you it feels like you are going through a tough time, from your story what I see and hear is that LOVE has touched you and opened your heart. That journey is not easy but is wonderful. It sounds like you have been bottling and burying feelings which only make you shrink, love will make you grow… but there are always growing pains. You are not alone and never have been even if it feels like – his journey will led you to YOU and the best love affair of your life. I have a written on TB about my own journey of love through hell and back to arrive at freedom …. It is wonderful that you have found yourself here… All of this will make you a real nurse which is a role based in sharing and giving Love, but you must receive to do this…I don’t want to plug, but so check out my site: http://www.rediscoverthemagic.com ~ I am a therapist and healer and a lot of what you have shared sounds so much like most of my clients and what I write about.. Take care and always come back to loving yourself first!!! Jo xx