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Jodi

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Viewing 15 posts - 31 through 45 (of 63 total)
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  • August 24, 2015 at 7:58 am in reply to: I'm i right to leave?? #82242
    Jodi
    Participant

    No one can tell you if you should leave, but from what you have written here it sounds like you aren’t happy or getting your needs met in this relationship. Ask yourself if these things you have listed out do not change with him, would you want to be in a relationship with him? If your answer is “no” then leaving to allow him to find someone he can be in a relationship with and freeing yourself up to do the same is a good choice. Best of luck!

    ~Jodi

    August 21, 2015 at 9:00 am in reply to: So confused… #82142
    Jodi
    Participant

    Continuing to be with someone because you are afraid to be without them isn’t fair to either of you and serves no one in the long run. It sounds like you are unhappy with how things are, and even with your efforts to change the relationship, he’s content with the status quo. If this is the case, maybe taking some time away from the relationship will give you a new perspective on what you want and need from a relationship (regardless of whether or not it is with him) Once you have a handle on that, you can revist your relationship with him and see if he is on the same page. You can then come up with a plan for changing things so that you are both getting what you want and need. Good luck!

    ~Jodi

    August 21, 2015 at 7:25 am in reply to: WANTED: YOUR ADVICE FOR A GIRL I LOVE #82140
    Jodi
    Participant

    At this point she has asked for space, honor her and her request and give her just that. Allow her to figure out what it is she really wants. Will she decide to come back? No one can really know that, but she has to figure out her own feelings for herself. Take care of you and work on your own self during this time. Best of luck!

    ~Jodi

    August 21, 2015 at 6:42 am in reply to: How to seek a relationship when I've got diagnoses #82139
    Jodi
    Participant

    Congratualtions on being so open ans aware of your own stuff! (And btw, as Alex mentioned, we all have stuff!) You can absolutely have a healthy and successful relationship as long as you continue to work on yourself and are honest and up front about your limitations with whoever you date. Yes, you may have people who reject you for your diagnoses, but rejection is something we all face when dating. And with support from friends, family and professionals you can deal with any rejection as it comes.

    Remember that being open and honest is what most people are looking for and as long as you can do that and continue to actualize your own self, you are ahead of the game!

    Best of luck!
    ~Jodi

    August 21, 2015 at 6:29 am in reply to: Gut Feeling or Rumination turned Obsession? #82136
    Jodi
    Participant

    Continuing to obsess over it isn’t going to serve any of you well. Annie is dead on, you have to either work on your insecurities or break it off. I can guarantee you even if you decide to break things off, your insecurities will come up again in every relationship you have until you deal with them. Better to do it now than 10 years down the road.

    Best of luck!
    ~Jodi

    • This reply was modified 9 years, 3 months ago by Jodi.
    • This reply was modified 9 years, 3 months ago by Jodi.
    August 21, 2015 at 6:09 am in reply to: Perfect for each other but at the wrong time? Please help me #82135
    Jodi
    Participant

    She could very well be using the “just friends” excuse to push you back. However, the result is the same……she’s not choosing a relationship with you, regardless of the reason. Your job is to decide if you sit and wait for her to change her mind or move on with your life. Moving on doesn’t mean you close the door completely, but it does mean you begin to look for what you want in a relationship in other people (someone who chooses to be in a relationship with you). Putting your life on hold until she can figure her life out doesn’t seem to serve either of you very well.

    ~Jodi

    August 19, 2015 at 1:17 pm in reply to: I'm having trouble figuring her out #82057
    Jodi
    Participant

    If she’s dodging the questions about hanging out, I’d say she’s not interested. She’s most likely afraid to say it and just ignores the question. You could just tell her how you feel and ask her straight out if she’d like to hang out or go out on a date with you. No harm in asking and if she says no, then you’ll know for sure. Good luck!

    ~Jodi

    August 19, 2015 at 1:09 pm in reply to: Perfect for each other but at the wrong time? Please help me #82054
    Jodi
    Participant

    Understanding her fears and her motives may help, but until she can get past whatever it is that is holding her back, your relationship does not have much of a chance. With therapy or whatever else she may try, SHE still has to take a step forward and risk being in a relationship. It sounds like, right now, her answer is no and for yourself and for her your best response is to love her but let go and allow her to find her own way. Go live your life, date others and find yourself as well. If in the future she decides to take a chance with you and you are still available, then give it shot, but for now take her “no” as what she wants and offer her friendship if you can.

    Best of luck,
    ~Jodi

    March 21, 2015 at 9:25 am in reply to: Love at first sight? #74215
    Jodi
    Participant

    I love the starting a fire analogy! Thanks for that one!

    ~Jodi

    March 17, 2015 at 8:30 pm in reply to: Love at first sight? #74075
    Jodi
    Participant

    Great points Rosecarman. I definitely think the media and Hollywood have an influence on how people think about love and romance. It seems to foster an unrealistic sense of how relationships work.

    March 17, 2015 at 4:06 pm in reply to: Am I the one with the problems? #74065
    Jodi
    Participant

    It sounds as though the two of you were just not compatible. We all have our issues to deal with (jealousy, insecurity etc.) and the fact that you recognize your own stuff is huge! Keep working on yourself and you’ll be better able to attract someone who is also working on themselves. That is what leads to more compatible relationships, shared values and common goals. Best of luck to you!

    ~Jodi

    March 14, 2015 at 5:57 am in reply to: Love at first sight? #73919
    Jodi
    Participant

    Thanks George! I think along the same lines as you. It seems to be an immediate gratification for a lot of people, but it also seems to gratify the feeling of “knowing”. I’m always a bit shocked how people will get their hearts crushed by diving in so quickly with someone they don’t really know (they just feel chemistry) and they will willingly and enthusiastically do it over and over again in pursuit of the idea of falling in love at first site. I’ve seen this so much lately, I too thought, I must be missing something here.

    Thanks again!
    ~Jodi

    • This reply was modified 9 years, 8 months ago by Jodi.
    March 13, 2015 at 9:39 pm in reply to: Making things up #73913
    Jodi
    Participant

    Make an investment in yourself by focusing your energy and time on relationships that are going to serve you better in the long run. It doesn’t sound as if these two are doing that.

    ~Jodi

    • This reply was modified 9 years, 8 months ago by Jodi.
    March 13, 2015 at 9:10 pm in reply to: 5 Personality Traits That Lead to Suffering #73912
    Jodi
    Participant

    These are spot on! Thanks!

    ~Jodi

    March 13, 2015 at 9:07 pm in reply to: Help, being told I need to have a boyfriend to be happy #73911
    Jodi
    Participant

    Glad that you seem to have a good head on your shoulders. Your thoughts are correct. You don’t need a boyfriend to make you happy, especially since you already are quite happy. Another person can never “make” you happy, that is something you must do for yourself. A relationship enhances a life it does not make it happy. All you can do is remind them you are happy and not engage in the conversations with them. Best of luck!

    ~Jodi

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