Either self-criticism or being criticized by another is difficult to deal with without lots of practice. Like many things. Some people have very good emotional intelligence and ride the feeling very quickly and can override it with logic and rational behavior. But not all of us have that skill. This is where practice and analyzing helps. That’s where it helps to be an outsider. Being able to step back and analyze the situation where it’s either yourself or another criticizing you. And that is difficult. And does require lots of practice. Maybe going over the situation in your head after it’s happened. Once your mind is clear of the emotional cloud. Again there isn’t an easy or simple answer for this 1. But this is where meditation helps too. Being able to step away from the emotions and calm the cloud that covers your brain

I used to be quite an avid drinker, few years ago. I was unhappy with myself and my life. So I used to use alcohol as a form of escape. But I started slowly coming away from it. Looking at the negatives of it. How it does cause and increase depression and anxiety along with fear. The costs. What I could save the money up for and looking at the long term benefits to myself certainly fuelled me. But I do still slip up once in a while. In the winter I buy a bottle of whisky. But it lasts me for like a month. Having a shot on occasional nights. Some would say it’s to same US from the inside seeing as its winter :-P. And I still have a rare bottle of red wine evening, about once a year in the last 2 years. Like an emotional rant in myself relating to times in my life where I’ve made terrible mistakes. Kind of sends me away from drinking more. On the rare occasions when I go to a pub or somewhere with friends I have a drink but I no longer feel enticed to drink quickly. My friends do the usual 2 or 3 while I barely manage 1. I find a bit more delight in the whole talking than I do the drinking. For me nowadays it’s more about the flavour. Why I’m drawn to Belgian wheat beers. I also find now that because I rarely drink it does have a more than noticeable affect on my mind. Inebriated very quickly. And now I kind of don’t like that so much. I remember the years of negativity it brought me. And so I don’t even have to process any of it. It’s just a feeling that is natural. I’m not exactly t-total but my attitude towards alcohol and getting drunk has changed dramatically. I now see it as a way of destroying our path

I can relate to this. I used to overthink my past and being stuck in my past stopped me moving forward and truly appreciating my life and making the most out of the opportunities that knocked at my door, even as far as kicking the door down for me to just either ignore and not be aware of it because i was stuck in my past. It is something that i still lapse back into once in a while. Not as much these days. But it takes times to change habits and create new meaning/purpose to our existence. First step is wanting to change this approach. Although that is kind of the easiest part. That’s what i found anyway. Repeating the positive approach which has us moving forward is difficult. Gets easier over time. But if you keep lapsing it feels like it doesn’t get easier. Just a case of remembering why you’re doing your new and different approach. And focusing in what you’re doing and why you’re doing it.

Either way there are times we just hate it and hate yourself for this extra time and effort we have to put in. But take a step back from yourself and your life. Imagine you’re a different person who is evaluating this other person. This is a method i do once in a while to help me jump back into who i am now, how i’ve developed and moved on. And how the past is the past. It teaches us aspects about ourselves and we can learn what we like and what we don’t.

And it’s not simple. And does require energy. Learn to balance your own energy levels. At the start it’s better to write down a planned time that you’re going to do things. A schedule. But keep it small and light to begin with, because of the difficulty it will drain you and you will need to recharge to continue pushing yourself. And eventually to the next step where you either increase what you’re doing, as in the time frame or you add something else to the mix. Work out what you want to work on. Make a list, then tick each 1 off. Build on it. Never give up. Because with every part and aspect with which you develop, it helps with the next.

If we are not making mistakes, we are not learning. You’re aware of your mistakes – that’s important. And you’re making contact with how your mistakes are your choice. So choose what you want to do with your life and do it. It isn’t easy. But just imagine what your life will continue to be like if you don’t start implementing changes to correct your life the way you want it to be. Start reading life affirming books. There’s a great deal of choice out there. You only have to put out your hand and use your eyes to find what you’re looking for.

For social activities check out meetup . com. I’ve met countless types of people through this site and the many different groups available. If you have interests like walking or holidays – any type of interest – there is bound to be something that will be applicable to you. Tomorrow i am going with a cinema group who are going to see: Rosy-Cheeked Exuberance; The Eagle Huntress – check it out on imdb, it’s just a deep meaningful take on another culture. Bit like whale rider.

If you regret things or choices, then change your choice. Make a different choice. It is your life after all – you are in control of your life

I can relate to being an introvert and feeling the only way you can vent is via online forums to like minded people. Not sure if its through fear or just mot feeling that other people can cope with your waterfall of emotions and some parts of our reality.

How old are you, if you don’t mind me asking? Also bear in mind that your dad may be under a lot of stress which does cause us to not truly see everything we’re saying and doing and how it affects other people. It’s hard for a child, but imagine having to run your life with the responsibility and burden of raising somebody in this world. It works both ways.

But it may also be because you’re not the way he imagined or wanted you to be. But he could still manage it a great deal better. Maybe try writing this down for him to read. Explore every aspect though. If he is caring and genuinely loves you then he will consider your view and try to be more compassionate. If you’re afraid of doing this, then maybe talk to your mum perhaps? Maybe you could all sit down together and talk things through.

Never give up. And there is ALWAYS hope, if you believe it and do everything possible. As long as the most important part – love – is fully appreciated by every person involved. Using our minds plays a huge part too, unfortunately, Because of how emotions can cloud our minds and the stress and negatives in this world also imbalance this notion

I will introduce myself and my current circumstance to see if my advice will actually help you. Firstly I lost the love of my life in 2014. I was involved in an accident where I incurred a brain injury. I was in a coma for 10days and then went through amnesia for 10 days. She had only ever had 1 partner before me, and he destroyed her heart. He was depressive and very selfish. Yet she persevered. He ended up leaving her, with their son to raise by herself. She endured great turmoil and still continued with life and making the best out of it for her son. So when this happens, we had only been together for a few months. But love was very much there. She opened not just my heart but my mind also. And this accident happens where nobody knows what is going to happen. The oath I was on was filled with an extrmely large barrier. And she felt like her heart had been broken again. She didn’t have the strength to be there for me. She felt bad for it after a year of being apart. But we started talking again and she could see that I wasn’t too far gone. And inhad learned a great deal in terms of appreciating life and still persevering with developing and furthering myself. And Buddhism is 1 of my new found lights in this life. She came back to me at the start of 2015. It was our 1 year anniversary today. But I’m emotionally distorted and I find it difficult to say the least seperating from the cloud my emotions form. Causing me to block out all of the positives. She is the best woman I’ve ever had the luck of knowing. She has such a big heart and is very clever is more than aware of every aspect in me. See’s the broader picture of me, herself, and our life’s. She can process quicker than any other clever person ive ever known. And the inner beauty that emanates from inside makes her more beautiful externally. And she has me feeling in love with this life we lead. No longer hating or being angry for my upbringing and choices that all combined lead me to some incredibly dark and bleak and narrow places.

Basically this woman gives me a reason and meaning behind why I continue to persevere. It’s all good seeking that path for 1self. But sharing and exloring with another is far better. So if this ex of yours is close to this, then yes it is more than worth another try. But be together in person and talk about the extent of it. Because also feelings of love isn’t enough in itself. Similar interests obviously help. But having your indpendence also helps and is essential. You share life, you don’t live life through 1 of you. When time moves forward in a relationship it really does help if you both move forward together as well. We change as time changes. But if that love remains but also grows with the way we all grow as we go through life and the experiences we learn from.

It isn’t a simple answer that can be given by any outsider. You need to be together and work it out together. Don’t build hopes without all of the facts. Your individual life’s and how you are as individuals need to be looked at thoroughly. Otherwise it could be painful. Some people say chase your heart. Some say if it is meant to be, then it just will be. It’s more than just complex when concerning emotions and feelings. But asking for advice is alsoways a good way. Analysing other peoples opinions and perspectives to work out what works for you.

I hope this helps. Either way you’re not alone when it comes to seeking love and wanting to get it right