Hi Emma,

Omg, I was so sad when I read your post and the horrible way he treated you. No one deserves this. In the year and a half that you were together, did you argue alot, or did he ever express any signs of leaving the relationship? Has he shown any emotional cruelty or disrespect before the break-up?

If he did this to you, chances are, he sounds like he is unhappy with life in general, and although he may have a new woman in his life right now, I don’t see it lasting, and that he will treat her the same he did you.

Hi FreeMoon,

Maybe you can set boundaries with him beginning with your next conversation. You can say something like “It would really mean alot to me, if I could share with you about my day, I would really like to be heard”. If he continues his rant, tell him, you have something on the stove, or someone at the door”. And politely say you have to go. This will teach him to realize that he has been ranting and you don’t want to take it anymore, and he will stop the disrespectful behavior.  Or, If he continues to rant, you can say “I’m sorry for your experience, would you mind if I could share now? I could really use an ear”

Hi Sarah,

I don’t see anything wrong with this at all, and it takes a very big person to apologize no matter how many years have gone by. I am in a 12 step program. Step 6, states “make amends to people you have hurt, unless it would cause them harm or distress”. There have been so many people in my past that I have said unkind things to, and I wish I could make amends or apologize. However, it’s too late, because most of these people are deceased, or have moved, cut me out of their lives. I wish I would have apologized sooner, so instead of living with regret, I have gone to their graves and just talked and hope God will give them a message in some way. Or I will write a letter and read it out loud expressing my regret and how sorry I am for any pain I caused them. For the people that cut me out of their life, they did not like that “I was different” due to mental illness. I do not really want to make amends with people like this, because I could be Mother Theresa and they would find something to disapprove. So yes, I think that apologizing would be the right thing to do, especially if you are feeling regret.

You’re welcome Daisy. I’m sorry this happened. It seemed he did repeat the same mistake with you. I think you deserve better, a healthy relationship with a stable, emotionally available man. Have a great evening.

This man in no way, is ready for a commited, stable, relationship..so many reasons and numerous red flags. 1. You both only texted, and never spoke on the phone. 2. He is very unstable, and unreliable making you always confused and in doubt. No relationship, no matter now much you like someone can survive this. 3. He is cruel and disrespectful of you. Telling you that it is your anniversary, and he is having a surprise restaurant, but then laughs and says it’s for a business colleague, this man sounds like a sociopath, enjoying making people have doubts, telling them to “see a shrink” lashing out at small things. 4. He never invited you to his place, made you dinner, never really made any attempt at romance other than “make out sessions” at your place, not boyfriend material. 5. Always being sick, yet always taking you to walks in “crappy weather”. Couldn’t take you in his car when the weather was bad out. 6. Not following through when you were in the hospital, not caring to ask how you were doing, caring more about “a concert instead” 7. I honestly don’t believe he went to an emergency room, and don’t think you do either. 8. Not caring enough to get you a rock for a souvenir that you really wanted. 9. When you got confused about his hiking plans, as anyone would, he again lashed out and became verbally abusive saying “don’t be so dramatic”. I could go on. Thank your lucky stars you are rid of this creep. Please don’t get back with him. This man is very toxic.

Hi Mila,

Do you really love this man? If so, it shouldn’t matter if he is divorced with children. Have you talked about your fears with him? What are your fears? Is is because he has children? Are they grown? Living with him? If you do not feel he is right for you, you may want to follow your gut. Leading him on will only just make things worse.

Hi Jen,

I would wait it out. You sent him an apology, but he said he “could not be a good boyfriend right now”. He probably still cares about you very much of he is liking your pictures, and sending you links, he is probably trying to keep the lines of communication open. However, I would not hold out too much hope, because he has not really made any “real” contact to express interest in getting back together. He has not sent anything flirty or cute emoji’s suggesting interest in a possible reconciliation. Basically, he did what a friend would do, send you a link and give you a “like” on your picture.

I know that when we love someone and want them back, we look for the smallest things, and then the smallest things get us excited and our hopes up..but when we think about it, he really just did a “small thing” and he expressed to you that he was not interested in anything romantic at this time even after you apologized. Even after break-ups, people will “follow their ex’s around or friend them on social media. My first love, which really shocked me, (from 35 years ago) when he “friended me on Facebook.

I accepted his friendship request, but he is married, so I did not make any communication with him. He made none with me. Not even a “hi”. I think he just wanted to show off his lifestyle to me (large house, beautiful car, children, grandchildren, etc, and of course, he had 2, 000 followers. When we were dating and engaged, he was always insecure because he didn’t have alot of money, I didn’t care. I loved him and was proud of him no matter what, but it wasn’t enough. I guess he just wanted me to see he was doing well and has a great lifestyle now.

So, I guess what I am trying to say, is that there are many reasons your ex may have liked your picture, but he would have made more personal contact if he wanted reconciliation.

Hi Mary,

Don’t be afraid any longer. The more “no contact” you have with toxic people the less fear and worry you will have. The less you talk about it or think about it, the more it will go away. Just keep hearing toward positive people. Remember my challenge. Don’t worry about people getting a hold of cell phones, just silence any negative thoughts or worries and have nothing more to do with these women. The less you talk about them, you will find them leaving your life. Don’t worry about what they may or may not say or do..just keep being positive. Positive energy and vibe, will bring positive people into your future. If you can’t get anywhere with your mom, by stopping her abuse, that’s when professional intervention is needed..or you will constantly be letting her upset you.

Wake up every morning and think of all the things you have to be grateful for. Anytime anything negative comes to mind, go back to your gratitude list. Negativity spreads negativity. Be done with that and people like that. Only go where the sunshine is.