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jockParticipanti personally am always anxious to lose my job if i make the slightest mistake, and that other people will make my life miserable there. Even though it doesn’t go that hard it seems. But i tend to get quite paranoid anyway, so at work i have this in a high degree.
Yes I also have a fear of making a mistake and can be extremely anxious if someone such as a boss is watching and critiquing my efforts.
Our behaviour may act as a magnet for further ill-treatment I believe. We lack confidence and therefore others feel a need to walk all over us. It’s like an animal instinct. They smell fear and some are especially adept at taking advantage of the situation to suit their “often evil” agenda. yet there are nice people too who don’t take advantage, but they are in the minority it seems to me anyway.
jockParticipantI’d vote for you if an election were held.
To some extent, I want to embrace my fatness.
It is part of true self-acceptance, after all.
jockParticipantAt least you wouldn’t have to take it for a walk every day. Not that I don’t love my dog. Just after a while it does become a chore sometimes. At 13 kg, my dog is much easier to lift and put in the car when we go to the park. I’d struggle to put a 54 kg porpoise in the car to take to the beach for an outing. I’m just under double a porpoise’s weight, but I’d do a serious back injury by trying to lift him into the car.
jockParticipantthanks anita
you are becoming the real go to person here on tiny Buddha. Have they approached you to act as moderator?I gained weight especially when I started work on nightshifts doing security around 6 years ago. I quit last year, lost a few kg but have struggled to lose any more. went from 97kg to 110kg. Now I’m back to about 104 or 105. I’d love to be 90 again. 95 seems more realistic at the moment. You americans don’t understand kg, do you?
I need to apply that insatiability to other areas of my life such as exercise, I admit.
jockParticipantMay i ask you, did it take you long to learn that? Was it a long time of trying and error, or how did you go about it?
I know that might be a kind of question that is difficult to answer, but perhaps you have some advice on how you changed thatYou make it sound like I’m an expert when I’m just like you, still learning.
My main problems are at work. I can relax more with people outside a work situation.
For some reason, I find the workplace a tough jungle to survive in. You can’t afford to show weakness, it seems to me, which is such a shame in my view.
jockParticipanthey anita
you have a great work ethic doing all those miles and twice a day as well!!
I also have an insatiable appetite.
Wafer biscuits being my current weakness. A pack a day???
(No don’t tell them that Jack, they’ll laugh at you more)
jockParticipantDepends how fast you breathe….
I’d be slowing down my breathing for a start……
jockParticipantMight it be a good time to have a break from relationships?
I know if I had the opportunity I might go on a meditation retreat for a few weeks.
Possibly you need to build up your self-esteem, through following your passions. I know mine is music as I try to improve my guitar skills. Also I do a public speaking course.
The thought of us being alone, without a partner can be scary I admit. But if we can learn to be happy alone, then we bring that happiness to a relationship. Expecting a partner to make you happy can create problems, in my view.
jockParticipantTo my way of thinking, intention can be evil. If I intend to hurt you, slander you for instance, but fail to get attention from others, then it is evil.
If, out of vengeance, I think “””mmm, how can I get even with Brian?” but no action follows, then the thought is just a thought.
When we allow ourselves to get consumed with hatred and hatch a plan, we have gone too far. Evil has gotten a hold of us.
jockParticipantre Christian guilt over feelings of sexual arousal…
it is a pretty common theme for catholics especially in my era. We were taught that thoughts were potentially evil so I avoided some thoughts completely.
jockParticipantYeah I cry. But only in private.
I’ve cried in poignant scenes in movies usually a beautiful soundtrack as well.
You know I play guitar, and sometimes the tune is so powerful, so moving, I have to stop. Lyrics too but mainly music.
I’m not a great musician either. It just moves me to tears. Of course, people can move me with their selfless and kind nature. My father’s funeral was sad but I didn’t cry then. I guess it has taken me a while to grieve. he was such a good-natured soul. the world is definitely poorer without him. My parents taught me that real love is possible.
jockParticipantsorry just a brief comment about “hot and cold”.
I thought I was reading a post from a guy complaining about his girlfriend.
Hope things work out though.
If this is truly the right guy for you, things will happen naturally.
Relax.
jockParticipantI’m going to be the same 20 years from now; alone, single, and miserable.
See your self-talk?
It reminds me of how fear driven my own self-talk can be.
I think single people tend to idealise all those in relationships.
I think I’m happier in a relationship now but we certainly have our moments, our arguments, our times when we ask ourselves” is this what I really want”>
And then some day one of us will die anyway. We have to get used to change. Nothing lasts forever.
You know I look back at my single life and sure it was lonely sometimes but on the other hand I had a kind of independence too. It wasn’t all bad. It was an interesting phase of my life.
Try to have gratitude for your current phase of life, I guess is what I’m trying to say. -
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Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 