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jock

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Viewing 15 posts - 856 through 870 (of 919 total)
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  • September 14, 2015 at 10:34 pm in reply to: Am i prone to a life of bad luck? #83356
    jock
    Participant

    Oh and whilst Buddhism is good I don’t think it has all the answers. Self-esteem problems could be dealt with more wisely with a good counsellor.

    September 14, 2015 at 10:32 pm in reply to: Am i prone to a life of bad luck? #83355
    jock
    Participant

    I don’t feel qualified to give you advice because my luck has been so much better than yours.
    My childhood was fine but did suffer self-esteem issues and workplace harassment in my adult life.
    I do believe my lack of self-esteem has been a root cause of me being on the receiving end of the workplace bullying.
    If I believed more strongly in myself, I would avoid a lot of the problems I come across. How can I expect others to respect me if I don’t respect myself?
    “I’m not good enough” is a basic belief I have about myself. And I’m sure many others have about themselves.
    Now I am saying to myself every day “I am good enough and I deserve to be treated with dignity” I am now sensitive to any kind of rudeness or sarcasm my work colleagues use. Nip problems in the bud if possible.
    People pleasing might be one of your issues and perhaps self-esteem as well. I have to be aware of my people pleasing tendencies. I know some of the nastier type of work colleague will just steamroll me when they sniff any people pleasing traits. It is like an invitation for them to treat you with contempt.
    Again I don’t pretend to have the answer to your bad luck. Certainly not another reason to beat yourself up. I think you deserve praise for your resilience and courage. Good luck!

    September 14, 2015 at 9:16 pm in reply to: Health and Fatness #83352
    jock
    Participant

    we can look over-weight when in reality

    when in reality we are obese
    (in my case)
    obviously obese
    awfully obtuse
    frightfully fat

    my advice to all of us in self-denial?
    never look in the mirror sideways
    only look at those cute puffy cheeks
    strictly face only
    pretend below the neck doesn’t matter

    September 14, 2015 at 8:48 pm in reply to: Health and Fatness #83350
    jock
    Participant

    To all the fatties!

    Time to come out of the closet
    That is
    If you can fit in the closet
    Which is highly unlikely
    in my case

    September 14, 2015 at 4:40 pm in reply to: i need to learn to stand up for myself #83334
    jock
    Participant

    i personally am always anxious to lose my job if i make the slightest mistake, and that other people will make my life miserable there. Even though it doesn’t go that hard it seems. But i tend to get quite paranoid anyway, so at work i have this in a high degree.

    Yes I also have a fear of making a mistake and can be extremely anxious if someone such as a boss is watching and critiquing my efforts.
    Our behaviour may act as a magnet for further ill-treatment I believe. We lack confidence and therefore others feel a need to walk all over us. It’s like an animal instinct. They smell fear and some are especially adept at taking advantage of the situation to suit their “often evil” agenda. yet there are nice people too who don’t take advantage, but they are in the minority it seems to me anyway.

    September 14, 2015 at 1:03 pm in reply to: Health and Fatness #83331
    jock
    Participant

    I’d vote for you if an election were held.
    To some extent, I want to embrace my fatness.
    It is part of true self-acceptance, after all.

    September 14, 2015 at 1:01 pm in reply to: Do you have a porpoise? #83330
    jock
    Participant

    At least you wouldn’t have to take it for a walk every day. Not that I don’t love my dog. Just after a while it does become a chore sometimes. At 13 kg, my dog is much easier to lift and put in the car when we go to the park. I’d struggle to put a 54 kg porpoise in the car to take to the beach for an outing. I’m just under double a porpoise’s weight, but I’d do a serious back injury by trying to lift him into the car.

    September 14, 2015 at 12:30 pm in reply to: Health and Fatness #83324
    jock
    Participant

    thanks anita
    you are becoming the real go to person here on tiny Buddha. Have they approached you to act as moderator?

    I gained weight especially when I started work on nightshifts doing security around 6 years ago. I quit last year, lost a few kg but have struggled to lose any more. went from 97kg to 110kg. Now I’m back to about 104 or 105. I’d love to be 90 again. 95 seems more realistic at the moment. You americans don’t understand kg, do you?
    I need to apply that insatiability to other areas of my life such as exercise, I admit.

    September 14, 2015 at 12:20 pm in reply to: i need to learn to stand up for myself #83323
    jock
    Participant

    May i ask you, did it take you long to learn that? Was it a long time of trying and error, or how did you go about it?
    I know that might be a kind of question that is difficult to answer, but perhaps you have some advice on how you changed that

    You make it sound like I’m an expert when I’m just like you, still learning.
    My main problems are at work. I can relax more with people outside a work situation.
    For some reason, I find the workplace a tough jungle to survive in. You can’t afford to show weakness, it seems to me, which is such a shame in my view.

    September 13, 2015 at 8:47 pm in reply to: Health and Fatness #83297
    jock
    Participant

    hey anita
    you have a great work ethic doing all those miles and twice a day as well!!
    I also have an insatiable appetite.
    Wafer biscuits being my current weakness. A pack a day???
    (No don’t tell them that Jack, they’ll laugh at you more)

    September 13, 2015 at 8:43 pm in reply to: If you knew how many breaths you had left to live #83296
    jock
    Participant

    Depends how fast you breathe….

    I’d be slowing down my breathing for a start……

    September 13, 2015 at 7:09 pm in reply to: Do you think you are spiritual? #83282
    jock
    Participant

    I’m a virtual spirtual.

    • This reply was modified 8 years, 8 months ago by jock.
    September 13, 2015 at 7:06 pm in reply to: How to face fear of abandonment? #83281
    jock
    Participant

    Might it be a good time to have a break from relationships?
    I know if I had the opportunity I might go on a meditation retreat for a few weeks.
    Possibly you need to build up your self-esteem, through following your passions. I know mine is music as I try to improve my guitar skills. Also I do a public speaking course.
    The thought of us being alone, without a partner can be scary I admit. But if we can learn to be happy alone, then we bring that happiness to a relationship. Expecting a partner to make you happy can create problems, in my view.

    September 12, 2015 at 10:58 pm in reply to: How important are our emotions? #83227
    jock
    Participant

    To my way of thinking, intention can be evil. If I intend to hurt you, slander you for instance, but fail to get attention from others, then it is evil.
    If, out of vengeance, I think “””mmm, how can I get even with Brian?” but no action follows, then the thought is just a thought.
    When we allow ourselves to get consumed with hatred and hatch a plan, we have gone too far. Evil has gotten a hold of us.

    September 12, 2015 at 3:46 pm in reply to: How important are our emotions? #83211
    jock
    Participant

    re Christian guilt over feelings of sexual arousal…
    it is a pretty common theme for catholics especially in my era. We were taught that thoughts were potentially evil so I avoided some thoughts completely.

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