Hello, I think it is so wonderful you have discovered meditation and feel calmer as a result and as a writer, I agree it so helps to write stuff down. I feel strongly that since you already know you are responsible for yourself and your emotions and are taking steps towards self-awareness, you will not follow in your parents footsteps. It is unfortunate that they are using you to vent about their problems, but you have the ability to try and stop this. You are already very clear about your own feelings, so why not say them? Since your parents seem to have no boundaries and you have not yet developed your own, why not put some in place now? It is as simple as saying “I love you and I know you are a great person, but I feel nervous and sad when you xxxxxx. Please respect my feelings and don’t xxxxxx with me anymore. Honestly I feel anxiety and just want to run away when you say negative and mean things to me about mom/dad.” There is a great assertiveness tool that I learned years ago, which so helped me with setting boundaries, called “broken record” which means you say what you feel like one of the above sentences, and when the other person comes back with a “yes, but I really need to share this with you” You reply, I understand, and repeat your original statement…eventually they get the message. You keep on reinforcing the boundary by repeating what you want…

I truly hope this helps.

Love and peace,

Marilyn

When my best friend died of cancer at 45 years old, I was shocked. I had only seen her a few days before and had not realized those would be our last moments together. Lucille was more than a friend, she was like a sister to me. We spent a lot of time together and she came into my life when I first arrived in this country from England, at exactly the right time for me. She showed me who I was more than any other person I have ever known. Her love was unconditional and always there for me. Even though I was the one who helped her through chemo, radiation and a mastectomy, it was she helped me to know and love myself. We were on a spiritual journey together and I was amazed that at one time she was able to say “thank God for cancer” because it brought so much love and support into her life.
When she actually died I was not angry. I was sad because we were so close and I missed her laugh, love and beauty in my life. The sadness did not last very long, because what I focused on was the years we had together. I only thought about all of the good and wonderful things about our friendship, how much we did, how much we shared and the fact that I know we will meet again.
I feel blessed to have experienced her loving energy with me several times during meditation sessions and have felt her energy around me at other times. I am never sad when I think of her, even though I have tears running down my face, I focus on all the happiness and joy she brought into my life and how much I am grateful for the years of friendship we shared, which some people never, ever experience.
I hope this helps.
Marilyn

Yes, its good to give in relationships, but the answer to personal happiness is not that simple. For way too many years, I was the only one giving. I gave way too much and felt used and drained. I finally realized that it was important to give to myself — time, love and respect. Now I make sure my I identify my own needs and that they are met. I am much happier, experience a deep inner peace and can give without expecting something back or feeling resentment.

I agree, I think kindness is sooo important, especially when the recipient is someone who seems to least deserve it. You never know what someone else is going through that makes them grumpy or difficult. One small act of kindness –a smile to a stranger, a bigger tip to a server or a compliment on a job well done can help others see beyond their problems and feel someone cares.

I believe love finds you and not the other way around! When you truly love yourself and are comfortable with who you are, you attract similar people into your life. I have found the key is not to look for something, but to put the desire out there. When you open your heart to the possibility that it exists, it will find its way to you.

I love flowers as well. My older sister is a master gardener and floral designer. For years I admired her beautiful creations, acknowledging her training and creativity which enabled her to produce such wonderful results. Then one day a couple of years ago, I decided to try my hand at arranging some artificial flowers. I became totally absorbed in the task, and without any knowledge of or training on how to do it, made a presentable arrangement. Since then I have made lots more – my home is full of beautiful flower arrangements and I have had many comments on how beautiful they are. Hey, you never know what you can do until you try, so go ahead, give it a go.

• This reply was modified 11 years, 8 months ago by Marilyn Briant-Rockmore.
• This reply was modified 11 years, 8 months ago by Marilyn Briant-Rockmore.

I believe that once you find your spiritual self, your purpose becomes apparent. What happened to me as soon as I started living from my soul-self, was that I discovered I had all kinds of amazing creative abilities I had no idea existed inside me.  As a result, I believe my purpose is just to express who I am, in every way possible!

Love and peace,

Marilyn

• This reply was modified 11 years, 8 months ago by Marilyn Briant-Rockmore.