aquarianmoon,
With your upbringing with the parents you had I find it amazing that you are functioning as well as you do.
Your pressing issues of your feelings of inadequacy, immense hatred of yourself, and the self judgmental thoughts all probably stem from that upbringing.
You mentioned going to therapy. Are you continuing to get help?

Insofar what anything I can offer is for you to focus on self love. The Loving Kindness Meditation is a terrific practice to do daily or even twice daily. I would start with that.
There are other techniques I’m sure but the whole process of meditation is to be able to BE with yourself; the good, the bad, the ugly, and the beautiful as well. That BEing is accepting. That accepting is loving. It’s a practice.

Metta,
Mark

Ah yes Debrah, thanks you reminded me to remind D that the company is interview you because you have something of value that they want. Present yourself as that valued resource that will solve their problems, make them or save them money and is a valuable contributor to enhance the workplace that will make the others around you more productive. It is not a one-way evaluation. You will show them what you have to offer.

Best,
Mark

Hey Lee,
Congratulations on your courageous start in your work toward creating a better life for yourself.

I encourage you to seek out a group that can help you along the way.

I think that there are 12 Step Co-dependency groups, either in person or online. You might want to investigate that. http://www.recovery.org/topics/about-the-codependents-anonymous-12-step-recovery-program/

One of my favorite spiritual authors, Melody Beattie wrote the seminal book on co-dependence, “Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself

I believe how we change is like eating an elephant, i.e. bit by bit (one spoonful at a time). Keep practicing your emotional expression and all other of those different behaviors that support your independency.

Let us know how you are doing.

Metta,
Mark

D,
I have done too many job interviews and found some of these techniques useful:

1) Check out Amy Cuddy’s TED talk on body posture/empowerment – http://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are.html

2) Visualize your perfect interview coupled with affirmations – http://jackcanfield.com/visualize-and-affirm-your-desired-outcomes-a-step-by-step-guide/

3) Go through practice questions that the interviewer may ask: http://jobsearch.about.com/od/practice/a/practice-interview-questions.htm

4) Let go. Remember you only can be and do who you are. With the knowledge and comfort that you will do the best you can and the rest is up to God/the Universe and the interviewers.

5) Remember to breath.

Good luck and take care,
Mark

First of all cari, I wish you ease, peace and love.

Second, congratulations for your bravery to take the step to deal with your trauma.

Third, the very act of breathing.. really breathing… deep, slow breaths breathing really really helps.

Also, laughter. Laughing Yoga is a good way of shifting out of our fear.
TED talk, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5hf2umYCKr8

It seems that you have an idea why you are feeling so challenged at work and you are taking steps to deal with it.

Perhaps your therapist can give you some strategies to deal with work better.

In the meantime, remember that there is nothing wrong with you. There are parts of you which is keeping you from being totally resourceful in life right now.

I want to answer to your query if anyone has experienced feeling that the direction of their life is a total mistake. I have felt that for myself. I found the key is to really know who I am, to know my true self. From that place of truth, I was able to make my life decisions with more confidence..and more faith. I needed my faith in order to deal with those times when I felt I went off course.

Remember, nothing is permanent. We can make new choices. I like the quote from the movie, The Best, Exotic Marigold Hotel, “Everything will be all right in the end… if it’s not all right then it’s not yet the end.” I believe in that.

Take care,
Mark

Shraddha,
I believe we are trapped by our own minds which have been programmed by our culture, traditions and families. It all comes down to “shoulds”… we should do this and we should do that regardless whether it is RIGHT for us, regardless whether it feeds our hearts and souls.

I have been in that trap. It took a leap-of-faith for me to follow what I truly believe is right for me in MY own life. It was scary and it defied convention and logic. AND I am happier for it.

I invite you to put aside what you were raised on what you are suppose to do, what family and culture and religion tells you what you are suppose to do, and to sit still and look deep inside your heart and hear what you NEED to do.

Metta,
Mark

Kelly,
To reflect back what you said here: you have a hard problem moving on and letting go, like attention, have codependent tendencies. and despite that you felt betrayed by him your ex means very much to you

You consider the problem you are having is that you are leading on your ex by communicating with him via text or Facebook?

It seems to me that the current situation meets both of your needs. You both are staying connected and giving each other attention that suits you two. He may want more but you are getting what you need. Do you agree?

So for the present moment (and that’s all we have in our lives), it works. To get into our heads and worry creates suffering (which I believe that is what Buddhism teaches – correct me if I am in error on my interpretation). Regardless, I believe it is true.

Mark