Only stay with him, if he is ready and willing to go through a rehab program and be sober. Monitor his commitment for a few months, and if he reverts back to his old habits – you got to leave him, that is the only solution.

I did not read all your posts, but sounds like you need to keep an open mind, that is my $0.02 advice. You have become very bitter and prejudiced against men, introspect and ask yourself if that is the case.

Some more philosophy, if that helps…there is a sport called skeleton sledding, not sure if you have seen it, but some very brave people lay belly down on a sled and navigate down an ice track at speeds >80 m/hr with 4-5 G acceleration forces. The only thing that helps a sledder to possibly perform better and not get thrown off is ‘Visualizing the Track’ they literally close their eyes and visualize themselves going down the track even before they do it..imagining every corner and turn, how and when they are going to shift their body weight and center of gravity.

How is this relevant to your case? you got to ‘Visualize’ yourself with a man, in a happy marriage,  or however you desire your life to be..write a few pages on how you want your future life to be.. you need to create this possibility in your mind, for you to subliminally accept that it is OK for you to be in a happy relationship and there is no such thing as men hate you.

Try it, no harm in trying, even if you feel its stupid.. all desires that get fulfilled start out with an idea in the mind, where the mind subliminally thinks its possible to get that desired outcome. The universe will do the rest for you, all you need to do is imagine that outcome.

If you really like him and want a relationship with him..don’t make yourself needy. That will only turn him off.  So, no contact till he comes back to you. There are plenty of fish in the ocean, but If you just can’t picture yourself with anybody else right now..then you got to make sure you grab his attention without coming off as needy..maybe find a male friend and flirt in front of him..if he is really into you, a little jealousy will for sure get him thinking, but be ready to move on if he is not into you.

This way at least you would feel satisfaction that you tried and failed vs. not doing anything and just giving him space and drooling on him to come back..

Good luck!

Has he developed these Narcissistic traits recently or have you seen any signs when you were dating ? I think you need to communicate your feelings to him, if he is mature enough to understand how you feel and is willing to at least try to change – there is still hope, Finally you are the judge of when enough is enough..but most of the time lack of communication is the root cause of issues between couples..make sure you make him perfectly aware that he also has equal responsibility to make the relationship work….relationship like life, is not a bed of roses, you have to work at it and face obstacles as they come…hope things turn out well for you

First of all..You are doing the right thing by getting professional help..when you think it’s beyond the control of your mind to correct your blues, please seek outside help…I just finished writing a reply to another person, might help your situation…I have been in those dark alleys where you feel very helpless..trust me….you have a long life ahead of you and there will be many instances in your life where you will look back and laugh at what you are thinking about yourself right now..It’s all going to be fine in the end, and if it is not fine, then it’s definitely not the end!..Hang tight..this has happened to you because the universe has much better plans for you in the future, long lasting love that will stay with you forever!

here is my way of coping when you feel worthless, alone, lost and sometimes even pathetic –

Close your eyes and imagine yourself in a time machine, you press a button and the machine takes you back in time into the concentration camps in nazi Germany..there you see thousands of people being subjected to the worst conditions and hardships humans could possibly endure, millions of people being executed just because they belonged to a particular race or religion…and yet people in those camps kept on living and surviving with the hope that one day, the madness will end..now open your eyes..aren’t you in much better situation than being in an concentration camp ? You may not have happiness or peace, but you have your freedom..isn’t that worth experiencing? we take our freedom so granted that we have forgotten that countless servicemen sacrifice their lives each day to keep our country free..close your eyes again and imagine yourself being in the world trade center when the planes hit..desperately trying to reach their loved ones, hoping to tell them one last time that they love them..or imagine yourself to be in the shoes of a cancer patient who has a few weeks to live…open your eyes..don’t you feel lucky that you have all the time in the world to express love and gratitude towards all the people that care for you?

When you feel really low and depressed, think of all the people who have/had worse than you..and automatically you will feel grateful for the gift of life that you have..and all you have to do is be grateful for it and live it to the best of what you can make it..as Antony Chektov said – “Any idiot can face a crisis – it’s day to day living that wears you out.”

Hang tight..you will feel better!

My heart goes out to you..there have been numerous occasions where I have felt the same..or asked myself what is the purpose of my existence..as Andrea said, this is a phase..it will pass..everyone goes through it sometime or the other in their lives..here is my way of coping when you feel worthless, alone lost and sometimes even pathetic –

Close your eyes and imagine yourself in a time machine, you press a button and the machine takes you back in time into the concentration camps in nazi Germany..there you see thousands of people being subjected to the worst conditions and hardships humans could possibly endure, millions of people being executed just because they belonged to a particular race or religion…and yet people in those camps kept on living and surviving with the hope that one day, the madness will end..now open your eyes..aren’t you in much better situation than being in an concentration camp ? You may not have happiness or peace, but you have your freedom..isn’t that worth experiencing? we take our freedom so granted that we have forgotten that countless servicemen sacrifice their lives each day to keep our country free..close your eyes again and imagine yourself being in the world trade center when the planes hit..desperately trying to reach their loved ones, hoping to tell them one last time that they love them..or imagine yourself to be in the shoes of a cancer patient who has a few weeks to live…open your eyes..don’t you feel lucky that you have all the time in the world to express love and gratitude towards all the people that care for you?

When you feel really low and depressed, think of all the people who have/had worse than you..and automatically you will feel grateful for the gift of life that you have..and all you have to do is be grateful for it and live it to the best of what you can make it..as Antony Chektov said – “Any idiot can face a crisis – it’s day to day living that wears you out.”

Hang tight..you will feel better!