sorry that happened to you. my carrier texts me my total balance and emails me the bill, and i freak when it’s even 5$ more, i’d probably die if i saw 700$

it does serve a good lesson for many things. i know when my boyfriend was out of work and the bills were being paid by credit, i kept going ‘for my own stress levels, i’m not going to look’ he’s got a job now, and we’re not too far gone, but i’m starting to get back on budget and it’s painful to look at. [our cards are thankfully separate, but he’s going to credit canada and has gotten on a payment plan and thankfully he’s no longer being hit with 30% interest] i remember at the beginning of the summer the bank was offering credit cards and i kept turing it down because i liked my card, but the once zero balance slowly grew, and i decided a 25$ annual fee was better thank the zero annual fee card i had because of the interest.

sometimes you need to check in with stuff, financially, spiritually, mentally, physically, you just need to stop, get everything in order, and focus. life can get so busy, it’s a good idea to stop for a moment. i know my plantar fasciitis means i have to warm up my feet in the morning and stretch every day, but some days i’m running late, or i go ‘oh, i feel fine, i can skip today’ but it always gets worse. [three days of no stretching and the pain is right back to before i got my orthodontics] i think we just get lazy and use ‘busy life’ as an excuse.

you enjoy travel? perhaps look into a career that includes travel. writing for a travel magazine for example. i know how hard it is to pinpoint what you want to do when you’re stuck in something you hate, try making a list of things you like and dislike about the job you’re in. also research jobs that require travel [flight attendant, working on a cruise ship] see if any of them interest you, talk to people in that profession, see what types of requirements are needed and give it a try. to quote Up: adventure is out there! i would speak with a professional about your depression, but also try and figure out what work makes you happy.

i don’t believe in the Christian God, i was raised Anglican, and while i was was devout for my childhood, i lost the connection, which caused me to question, which resulted in my soul searching and i concluded Christianity wasn’t for me. however, i’ve always been a very spiritual person so i kept looking until i found the path that completed me. I’ve been Wiccan for 12 years now [and counting] and i’ve connected with my God and Goddess, so to me they’re real because i’ve felt their presence.

spirituality is personal, so no one can tell you it’s real or not, you need to discover your own path. research other faiths, go to other spiritual leaders and speak to them, meditate, journal, pray, go to church, read The Bible, go to other holy temples and observe a service. just be open. there is no one true path [in my view anyway] and they all lead to the same divine energy. i personally believe in reincarnation, but no one really knows what happens, find what speaks to you. God is always listening, you can try speaking with him if you still feel Catholicism is the right path.

while i converted, my mom and sister are still Christian, and they say it’s thanks to my spirituality they decided to return to church. my mom had some major low points in her life, but she decided to focus on the things she wanted to, and she chose to be optimistic about everything. so if aspects of the world has left you jaded, cut them out. i don’t want you to be ignorant to the suffering of the world, but put a filter on your life. constantly reading stories about how horrible people do horrible things will leave you raw, try subscribing to a newsfeed that talks about charity work, or people helping others. heck, try joining your local church for any volunteer work. [i’m not Christian but it never stopped me helping the Anglican church when they were low on volunteers.]

stick to your morals in the end, but if someone did a good job at work, you should say ‘good job on that report’ to be nice, instead of turning up your nose at them because they’re kind of a jerk. you wouldn’t want that planting a bitter seed inside you and it slowly grows until you’re grumpy and don’t know why. some people will overlook things because the person can make them laugh or help them in times of need. i wouldn’t try to be buddy-buddy with the guy, but at least be civil. best of luck to you.

i know the feeling. i wanted to get out of my town for years. the plan was finish college and leave. well college ended 8 years ago and i just moved away in March. i couldn’t move out on my own until i was 24/25, and thanks to my anxiety i was having a huge freak out. i’m the type that saves every penny, so to suddenly hand over 2000$ for first and last rent on top of paying bills, buying groceries, and being an adult, scared the life out of me, but it’s what i wanted to do and i’m glad i did. it’s also a good idea to do it in 6 months for a number of reasons, i packed and moved in a month, and trust me, some days i was energetic and packing, other days i was hyperventilating and terrified i couldn’t find work, lost my job, boyfriend couldn’t find work, we couldn’t pay rent, blah, blah, blah. having a 6 month window you can work towards the goal of moving. you can calculate costs, figure out a moving date, research moving companies [or just rent a UHaul and ask some friends to help. that costs gas money and pizza] you can also start de-cluttering and packing at a slow pace, and you can also begin handing out resumes so you have a job lined up for when you move [if you’re moving far away i mean]

but i also get that feeling of being stuck. it feels horrible, and it is the universes way of saying you should do something. ultimately it’s your call, you could go logically and wait, or throw caution to the wind and do it. talk with your sister [and your moms friend if you want] and do what you guys feel is best. you really don’t have anyone to answer to but yourself. yes, it’s wise to be considerate of others, but if you feel moving now is best and you simply cannot wait any longer, go for it, life’s an adventure after all.

sometimes there’s nothing you can do. if you haven’t already, you should sit your father down and calmly explain the situation. many people who’ve never experienced mental/emotional issues like panic attacks won’t understand [what do you have to be depressed about? you’ve got all this stuff, so stop being so sad] on the other hand, try seeing it from his point of view, here’s his child in pain and there’s nothing he can do and that’s frustrating. a family counselling session might help. try to be civil and work through it if possible, if you’re only planning to stay one more year, but if it’s really terrible for you, you might have to consider moving early.

i can kind of relate, i’ve dealt with panic attacks, anorexia, anxiety, depression [at one point i would punch myself because the physical pain would distract me from my emotional pain] my mom never understood, she would normally ignore it, or she would try to help but if i didn’t get better within a short period of time she would explode and demand i stop being depressed, anxious, eat my dinner. [i have foot problems and i sometimes can hear my mom in my mind demand i stop limping and walk normal.] i’m not upset with my mom, she just had her own issues at the time, as well as my grandparents don’t really talk about emotional/mental problems [i found out once i was diagnosed that a lot of people in my family have anxiety, depression, even some bi-polar, they just say the persons ‘blue today’, or they’ve got ‘mountain disease’] coupled with being upset her child was hurting and there wasn’t anything she could do. it’s not the right response, but you can sympathise somewhat. i don’t live at home anymore, and my mom has started a lot of self-love, so she no longer snaps at me, and things have improved.

try and focus on the good times with your father, and when you feel an attack coming, go into the other room for a moment, or explain to him you need a moment and will return. you might still have the occasional outburst, but if the two of you can sit and talk calmly i’m sure things will be better.

*singing* just keep swimming, swimming, swimming.

i know the feeling [i kind of had a quarter life crisis a few years back] it took me a few years to get out of the funk [had to hit rock bottom. anxiety and depression. not fun] the first thing i did was start journalling. i carried one with me wherever i went and would write in it whenever i had a moment. sometimes it was recaps of my day, other times a comment someone made or a random thought. i’m artistic, so i would also doodle in it, as well as make random lists and write quotes that resonated with me. every couple of months i would read over what i wrote and write notes on certain entries because i was far enough ahead i could look at the problem from a non-emotional state, i would also begin to see patterns [like when i said ‘maybe’ i didn’t really want to do something] i also had another notebook i still use, but it’s hard to describe exactly, the first thing i did was make a list of 100 things i wish to accomplish in my life [from eat a tube of cookie dough to visit Japan] i go back through that list occasionally and change some things, but it helped me figure out what i value and want out of life [mostly some fun adventures, spiritual and artistic gain and stupid things to laugh at later] i also wrote lists about people who inspire me and why, designed my dream life, and a few spiritual things like chakras and meditation experiences i wanted to remember. again, reading over it later brought some perspective.

meditation and mindfulness also helped me [as well as reading TinyBuddha daily for a little inspiration/motivation] and talking with the people around me, specifically my boyfriend. it’s kind of a long process, and there are days you’ll feel stuck and stagnant, just take small steps. one day you might clean out the attic and feel you did a lot, other days you might just read a book on gardening, everything you do will lead you to figuring out what does and doesn’t work, the key for me was to journal so i could look back later, and understand why i was doing something. with the attic example, you’re de-cluttering, but you should also make a mental note of things, like you wanted to become a great chef so you bought a ton of books, only to pack them away, unused, so maybe you just like the vision of being a great chef, but cooking isn’t your interest.

I know how you feel. With friends and family I’m the perfect version of me, once I’m out in public I become a cynical closed off person [due manly to my brain thinking people in the town believe that’s who I am. Long story but it’s a vicious cycle I can’t break out of. So I’m moving!] Try taking baby steps. When you make eye contact with someone, smile. [I’m not one to constantly smile but I smile at everyone I lock eyes with] you could also try asking someone how there day is going and actually mean it [as a barista I can’t tell you how wonderful it feels when someone seriously wants to know how your day is instead of a formality] you could also try being more charitable. Nothing major, maybe donate one can of soup a week, or throw a quarter into a street performers hat.

I think it comes down to self-esteem/self-confidence, you fear rejection so you project half of yourself to the outside world, which shields you from real rejection if someone doesn’t like this fake you. Try making small goals for yourself each day to slowly ease yourself out. And if someone doesn’t like the real you, forget them! As long as you’re happy that’s all that counts! [Easier said than done I know]