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  • in reply to: Guilty or not? #354370

    Dear anita,

    Fortunately i m in a country where i can walk outside nd everything is open….but  we are still maintaining distance… Nd unfortunately i m here alone without my family member… And wd friends we are still kind of maintaining social distancing or i m not asking them to meet up neither they…

    I m student nd my university is all about online lectures nd i m nt attending those as i m changing my major from winter semester a part time job which is also some how effected by coronavirus…

    So now i hope u got my point… I m connected wd family nd friends on call but because of low energy i dont feel like talking….

    Yesterday after a long time i met a friend.. We went nd walked (11 km) nd spent good time… Thn i promised to my self to go out every day fr a walk which btw i did today 7.0 km


    in reply to: Guilty or not? #354364

    Dear Anita…

    I have broken up with him… And i m feeling better… I have no guilt…. But i m feeling sk empty in this locked down… I have nothing to do… Feeling hopeless.. Low energy…

    in reply to: Guilty or not? #353896

    Dear Anita,

    Just now i m talking to him… He is talking emotional things like “would i care if something happens to him ??

    Thn saying he was thinking to write the first letter of my name on his body by burning it…

    Thn he start saying that he was thinking to cut his hand nerves….

    I asked why r u. Thinking like that thn he replies because to show me that he loves…..

    Isn’t it kind of emotional tricks to stop me from breaking up….

    Nd he continuously talking about such things tht if smthing happen to him, would i love him more or will i walk away???

    How to react now… Nd what if he really does such stupid thing…

    He is mature enough to not talk like  Ths  he is 9 yrs older thn me nd i m 24….

    Any suggestions how to face ths situation ir llf he strt emotionally blackmailing me to kill or hurt himself??


    in reply to: Guilty or not? #353882

    Dear Anita,

    As you asked me,

    why is it that you feel that you owe him anything, what did he give you that you feel indebted for?


    So  i dont know what to reply you… Some how i feel i owe him because i committed to stay in a relationship… And he has a different mentality… What i came to know about him in past 3 days is, he thinks it doesn’t matter what happens a person should never leave another person…

    Nd i said everyone has their needs… Nd whn these needs doesn’t get fulfilled we start to gradually feel differently.. May be out of love smtimes…. Nd thn he adds, no thats not true as he never the person it doesn’t matter what happens…. Thn i told him “we both see the world differently” …

    Nd let me cme to ur question. So no he did nothing that i owe him anything… He gave me time nd that was mutual….

    Nd i dont remember anything…

    The only thing i liked about him that i thought he straight forward, honest nd not flirt and a good men….. I was never physically attracted to him and we are not emotionally connected either…..




    in reply to: Guilty or not? #353832

    But the second time i feel really sorry for him nd somewhat guilty because as our communications started to fade.. It was almost 3 weeks we were nt talking or talking very little… Thn he got a bike accident.   He thn Texted me… I wrote him take care of ur self nd we dint talk alot…

    So day before yesterday he was telling mr that whn he got accident he was having his first aid but  he was asking his friends for balance.  Because he wanted to inform me… Nd thn he added he tried to call me but i dint talk. I dont remember that he calld me i just remember his text which i replied… Nd our contact jst faded…  I dint text him nd He never tried to call me n last 2 yrs fr any explanation or break up nor i did… But i felt guilty tht he had accident nd i wasnt there fr him as i should have been… Bcz in his eyes we were in relationship… Nd fr me tht was ended.

    in reply to: Guilty or not? #353830

    Halll Anita,

    I cant thank you enough for your precious time..

    Dear As u asked me,

    But why is he authority over innocence and guilt, what made him your moral superior, deciding on your innocence vs guilt?

    If i understood it right than u meant what gave him authority to decide if i m guilty or innocence…

    I would say here that he told me he loved me alot, cared for me, deciding a life for me, wanted to spend his happiness with me but i broke up out of no where… But let me tell u hr never cared if he talked to me or nt, never shared anything…

    When i say him he never showed me love et.. Thnn he replies that why cant i see his actions, i met him 7-8 times i dont remember any thing nd in communication all we did was fight.   But i was guilty of not realising his real love… Wht he tells me which i never saw from his side…

    in reply to: Guilty or not? #353816

    Dear Anita…

    Thank you for your last post it just gave me some relaxation by knowing i m not a villain lr a bad person by breaking up with him nd falling out of love because of lack of emotional connection nd communication..


    But somehow his efforts nowadays are making me feel bad.. As i told him honestly everything that how i feel in ths relationship he is scared now. He is trying to call me nd text me multiple times.. Trying to ask me about what i like, my friends now… Etc…

    I know this person frm last 8 years nd after 3 months of relationship now he is trying to communicate to me… Trying to make me laugh or telling me his sad story that he laughs all the time but its only showing off… He is not happy inside…

    But the strange thing is he was showing the same “showing off”  i mean laughing nd joking all the time infront of me too…. I never saw  real  him… Nd he never realised ths either.. I dont knw wether these are truth or lie or exaggerated or he is only making me to feel sympathy for him nd stay…

    Talking to him nd watching him to making effort now makes me sad too.. Because i start yo feel he loves mw but why dont i have that love feeling for him… I Start to blame me for feeling ths way nd breaking his heart….

    In last 8 years he never opened himself infront of me nd in 2 days he is very open, interested to know my opinion, interested to know my friends now.. He dint even know my friends or best friend name… Yesterday he came to know… …if it was so easy for him why he never put any efforts for us…or may b he never realised thats important too??

    He sent me poetry today  because he thinks i am angry at him so it was a sad poetry.. I dont remember in whole relationship he ever sent me anything to make me feel loved.. Like a romantic poetry abt missing me or singing a song for me ( even though i asked him almost 100 times to sing for me.. May b its silly to ask for this)

    I m just thinking all day long about ths situation.. And  trying to end ths.

    I m just writing ths all so that i feel a bit better to share… Tht how thinking abt ths all day long is just making me feel depressed nd slow..

    in reply to: Guilty or not? #353604

    Dear Anita,

    Thank you for your time…
    <p style=”text-align: left;”>As you said  “there is not much of a relationship here” thats exactly what i was feeling and used to feel..</p>
    Just from last two days he opened himself about our past breakups… That how that breakup devastated him… He said i destroyd his life… He used to ride bike in full speed so that he gets accidents nd die but it wasn’t happening… I was reading his texts i was feeling full of guilts on the other hand i have no feelings left third time too… I dont know how to face it… I feel like i m very cruel person to do this to him… Because he says he only loved me in his whole life, and  i feel bad for him because he isnt flirt nd honest person…

    Ithn i told him that i dont feel as if we are in a relationship.. Because we don’t communicate nd behave like partners we are more like just friends… Then he felt that again a break up is coming nd thn he said he ll open himself to me..etc…nd from yesterday he is talking to me nd sharing talking about our future but i m  not interested i dont Talk to him alot…

    But Anita i dont really care now… If he wanna open himself infront of me or share nd talk about us… I dont have that feelings… They are dead… But i m also devastate nd stressed about breaking his heart  as he thinks i already did very bad to him

    Ji feel guilty now…for hurting him nd hurting him twice…. Now i m hurting tooo…

    How can i break up if he really wanna change now but its too late as my feelings are dead.


    in reply to: Guilty or not? #353598

    Dear Anita,

    Thank you so much for your response.

    As u asked me some questions i m going to replying u one by one.

    You and him have been in a relationship since 2011, in person (not online), beginning with you being 14 and him 23?

    So we both were mostly on texts and call.we were living in same city and.we used to meet once in every 1-2 months in one ice cream shop near my house… Nd 2 times in restaurant nd once we went to a beach… It was 2013 when we last met… But he wasnt affectionate in person too.. Once i tried to touch him for the first time. I was touching his finger he start making joking  abt it nd laughing at me for finding excuse to touch him. He thought it was funny but not for me hurted me alot but i was always quite… But now he has changed he doesn’t do such things..


    During the relationship he never said anything like: I like you/ I love you/ I like spending time with you, and did he ever take you to a movie or a restaurant (a date)?


    Ya he tells me he loves me nd like me nd want to live his life with me. Apart from these 2 – 3 things he says nothing..doesnt open up to me..and i stopped opening up my  self to him.. I could never make that emotional connection to him… To tell him my worst experience of my life or whatsoever…. Yes


Viewing 9 posts - 76 through 84 (of 84 total)