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samyParticipant
Hi creation impeccability,
Are you saying we shouldn’t think about what is normal? You said release adherence and resistance to the norm? Aren’t they opposites? I thought you were telling me to resist the norm. You might be conveying something deep, but English isn’t my first language, so I am really confused by that. I’m sorry.
samyParticipantGlad to know I made your day, anita 🙂
- This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by samy.
samyParticipantThat’s awesome, anita! I am really happy. My moment of happiness as soon as I wake up 🙂
Hope you have a good night’s sleep!
Girija
samyParticipantIf what I pasted above doesn’t help. This video has a different approach
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IlQFSYkuO0k
samyParticipantOk, anita. Good luck. I tried posting a link to a video that might help, but it says awaiting moderation. Please search on youtube, you will find videos that are easy to follow, and it would be easier to follow along and pause the video than follow written out steps.
Hope you have a great day.
Girija
samyParticipantHi anita
The initially paste I did was badly formatted. I’ve edited it in the same reply.
samyParticipantCould you try the below steps. And let me know if your screen looks different than what the steps suggest.
Step 1Sign in to your Hotmail account using your email address and password.
Step 2
Click the “Options” button from the menu at the top right of the screen and select “More options” from the dropdown menu.
Step 3
Look for the “Junk e-mail” section of the “Options” menu that opens. Click the “Safe and blocked senders” option. You can view email addresses marked as safe and email addresses that you have blocked here
Step 4
Click “Blocked senders” to view a list of the blocked email addresses.
Step 5
Select the email address you want to unblock from the list of blocked email addresses and then click “Remove from list.” The email address you removed is now unblocked and you can receive email messages from this address.
samyParticipantBefore, I respond to everything else – I am sorry you weren’t able to sleep well. I hope you are able to rest during the day. Is something on your mind bothering you?
And were you able to unblock that person or do you need my help unblocking them? Tell me which email provider – gmail, yahoo.com, etc and I can find and link ways to unblock. I will wait around for your reply.
I feel bad too when I think my actions hurt another person or caused them problems. But it might help to think how you would react when someone made a mistake that impacted you, if they were genuinely sorry and trying to fix it or fixed it and it did not cause you real harm. It might have hurt your feelings but you would understand that it was only a mistake. I am sure the other person will understand too. Please don’t feel bad.
Girija
samyParticipantHi anita,
I will not quit. Not this time.
But I feel so tired and “sore”. I wish I could be happy while doing this work. I have said that I don’t know what will make me happy, and we’ve discussed earlier as well that healing myself would be the way the work I need to do to be able to experience joy. But, I’m miserable. I have to tear my focus away from the tornado in my chest and use it to get my work done and it is so hard. And there is constantly new stressors that get added. I wish I could figure out how to get my body into a happy state, soothe myself. I am not able to do that.
I tried setting an intention today first thing in the morning, that I will fight anxiety. It did help. I was able to dismiss a lot of fears emerging from meetings at work. But, I am simply swinging between neutral and miserable. I want to feel lighter and happy. I want some happiness. Happiness that doesn’t threaten to hurt. Just a moment of happiness.
Girija
samyParticipantHi anita
I understand it will be hard but I won’t quit. I can’t afford to. My life in this state is too hard.
Girija
- This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by samy.
samyParticipantHi anita
Thanks for the detailed response. I will practice to better deal with this.
Girija
samyParticipantThanks for sharing, anita.
I read your message a while ago. I was going to ask you permission to ask specific questions about your techniques as I could apply some. But I couldn’t respond. I was in the middle of feeling very anxious. I laid down in my bed. I have had 4 bouts since. I don’t know what caused them though. I feel them in my chest and stomach. I tried being mindful but it got more intense. I don’t know the cause. How am I supposed to handle this? They went away on their own. I became more sensitive to the sounds around me during that time.
Girija
samyParticipantThanks, Anita. I will.
You can choose not to answer this. I can understand it might be too personal. But could you tell me how you reduced your anxiety and went from the figurative gas to liquid? What tools and techniques you used?
Girija
samyParticipantHi anita,
Belated congratulations for your 2020 promotion and thumbs up for your expected promotion this year (if I understood correctly) to a senior developer role! – you have understood that correctly. Thank you for congratulating me.
Thanks for organizing my novel of a plan, you asked if you got that correct, and you did.
Girija
samyParticipantHi Care,
I am glad to hear my message helped you. I just wrote that plan out to give you ideas. You could choose to take what you like from there.
I am happy to have this connection with you. Please know that you have not set yourself up for failure. You haven’t failed yet. You did what you could do best. You are viewing your life in a bubble without acknowledging the conditions that pushed you to make the decisions you did. Sure, fear is a factor to shy away from challenges, as are many others you could work on, but also acknowledge that your external conditions and internal conditioning from childhood led you to where you are at. And you can define where you want to go.
People have let you down, so there is nothing wrong in being cautious in that regard. I honestly don’t see a problem with that. My bigger fear for you is if you settle for people in your life that will bring your energy down and tire you out. You having boundaries is a good thing. All you have to change it to is from fear of to a casual disdain for terrible people. Constantly vet the people in your life, it is worth it. How people have treated you so far should tell you how you don’t want to be treated and not as something to lose hope and take as evidence to not expect good treatment from others. Set standards for who is allowed your time and energy.
I hope you feel better too, I’m sure you already do a great job – Thank you for the compliment. But in all honesty, I have had ups and downs since I was your age in this matter. I have become a little more centred in how I look at my situation. Before I used to view all my problems from the past and in the present, in a vacuum, and I used to struggle with their existence or how to fix them by myself as I took them as a reflection of me. Now, I have learnt to assign responsibility for it to other parties and this has helped in relieving the pressure I felt. I have also been partially successfully in peeling aways the parts of my identity that were tied to my job. I only look at it as a way to earn. And the worry to do well is only to keep earning. This is the only progress I’ve made. Once I peeled that layer off – the one where my career had to compare to others, or I had to get married and have babies like others in my family, I have reached the most painful part of myself, where I can’t simply define myself by outcomes or the lack of them. I now see what I’ve had hiding underneath. A very anxious and scared person that wants to feel safe. This I cannot fix by having a better career or finding love. I am actively working on feeling better this year. I hope you do as well. Take your life into your own hands and drive it.
I would love to continue this communication as well. Thank you!
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