Hi Melissa. Thank you for your thoughts. I agree that questioning life and becoming overly introspective is bad because it can lead to meaningless rumination. I guess finding your interests is the best thing to do if you want to know your passion, and fulfillment. From that, you can derive your life’s purpose. The more you think of it, the harder it gets to explain yourself. Connecting with people is a little hard, especially at beginning for me. I am trying to meet people. I guess since I don’t spend time with family, I put more emphasis on friends. This emphasis on friends can be hard when no one wants to do something with you or are too busy with their lives. I like to be genuine with friends, and sometimes I feel like I am the only one contacting them to do something. This feeling makes me reluctant to connect with people because I feel that people just move on with their lives, and I am the one left behind, in quiet desperation.

What does the tiny buddha community say about this?
Thank you
Harry

Hi. Anita. Honestly, you are a wonderful person. I am happy I came here. It’s great connecting with you here. Who knows, maybe I might have the honor of bumping into you one day haha. It would be awesome when I find that connection! I have one doubt. The thing is that I spend a lot of time alone. So, especially during my holidays, I wonder what to do. I mean, I don’t want to waste time, but I just wonder what should I be doing? I sometimes wonder whether I would have this question if I could spend time with my family. Honestly, I love to learn too, but I learned that its only good if you apply it. So, I get confused how should I be spending this time wisely, I don’t want to just watch TV, or do something unproductive.

Thanks
Harry

I forgot to add. I have a lot of free time now from school break. However, I just don’t know what to do. I literally just play games on the ipad or read life articles online, while wondering how my friends are spending time with their family.

Thank you, Anita, I have written something in my journal about your idea:

I have always dreamed of being in a family where mom and dad are great. Where, there is family dinner together every day, talking about everything. A family that always does something together after dinner, like playing games, or watching television together, and having fun. Then, in the family, we do something every weekend.On weekend, the family cleans the house, children learn how to do cook and other things from parents. Then, on special holidays, the family does something great every year, including traveling to different places. This is the family aspect. Now with myself, living fullest means doing something with friends every week, having fun and trying new things. I am passionate about something and have many interests in addition to acquaintances. Plus, I am friendly, laughing and enjoying life in every moment, looking forwards

That’s me in my imaginary life. I was wondering myself. I feel like I don’t want to succeed, like I am not passionate enough, good enough. I don’t know how, but I need help in self-discipline and somehow pushing my mind to feel like I am good enough, and keep doing, than always comparing myself and simply thinking all the time. So, what do you suggest Anita?
Thank you
Harry

Hi, Anita. I just came home from my trip. It feels dull because when I was visiting my mom, I had a bigger space to live in and familiar people around. Now, I am into a dorm-like place with my sister. I know she cares for me, but usually, I feel like I don’t want to live with her, just maybe see her once in a while. I kind of isolate myself from her, because I feel like I am reminded of past, but I shouldn’t feel that way if I have let go of my past. I also isolate myself because I don’t like to hang out with her since she is seven years older than me, so we only talk about same stuff and memories. I don’t know why, but living with my family is kind of hard. I prefer to be alone, but still, yearn their connection. I mean right now I miss mom and I know she loves me and cares for me very much. I know that I need a connection from others, and I am not boring. However, I feel that I need to experience life more and learn to appreciate what I have. I need help in finding how can I see the bright side of everything, and experience life than just surviving it? I feel I need to do this because I have a hard time practicing gratitude, and feel like why do anything with life? Why have friends when most will leave you? Why trouble yourself with people when you can just enjoy? I hate these questions because they make me feel even more disconnected and isolated with the world. How do you feel I am doing with healing so far?
Thank you for your help
Harry

Hey Anita. I totally think you hit the mark. Although I love being in family and probably think of family often. I always compare myself to a friend, who has a great family. But I didn’t like to talk about past and problems with my sister and mother. They never do anything, other than gossiping and talking about everything Will be good and talking about life problems. I want to just enjoy life and do something, not just talk about stuff. So, I don’t even know what other families do when they get together, just curious because usually for me it feels like nothing. That’s also the reason why I need more and deeper connection with people. That’s probably the reason why I always question about life’s purpose, and deeply think and ruminate in my head.thats the root why I have so many mental issues sometimes. What do you think?
Thank you