Tink,

Good for you, for being at a job that you love even though it keeps you busy. But isn’t being busy so much what makes the down times so much more enjoyable and so worth it? Especially when you reflect on your accomplishments, it helps remind you how far you have come and that whats left to go before a break is nothing compared to what you’ve already done.

I will pray for your protection during this time because travel right now is so insanely scary to me. You have more bravery than I do!!!

-L.

I haven’t thought about what I need to let go of in a while, but I think that doing it every once in a while or at least taking an ‘inventory’ of different things in our lives really does help us. This is what I have changed within the past few months:
Like Saiisha and Anita too I let go of TV, but as an everyday thing and don’t watch/read the news as much. I read enough to stay aware of things going on because knowledge is never a bad thing. I do still watch TV, but for about 45mins-1hour a week, only one episode of one show that I really enjoy. Every year from about November to January I stay away from the news anyway because the negative factors of it skyrocket this time of year.
I have stopped biting my nails, something I did for 16 years. This habit carried a lot of weight with it my whole life, so being able to break it is more than choosing not to do something, at least to me.
I pushed through/came to terms with some (emotional) road blocks, resulting in me growing and giving me some motivation, while also giving me a general sense of direction instead of feeling so lost.

What still needs work:
Motivation, anxiety, depression. I still need to work on motivation because this fairly recent change has been amazingly positive, however, I know I have more to give, more to grow. The anxiety and depression issues are improving very much, but I know they still need work. To improve my anxiety and depression I just need to keep at it and not fixate on the times I can’t keep these feelings away.
I need to:
Remain peaceful but aware, to keep the negative emotions from getting to me but to also allow them to happen when they need to, and not dwelling on negatives; only on positives! Emotions are not all or nothing, they are natural responses that can be changed if someone feels they need to.

I’m still anorexic, still getting worse by the week in this respect. I truly don’t know what to do about that.
I also just moved, and though it is a negative thing right now, that is only because of the stress and problems of moving into a house that still needs work done to it. Even with all that, this new place is still amazingly better than where we were, so in time I know this place will be as close to perfect as we can get.

Can people please share some ‘Letting go’ tips/strategies that helped them out?

For me, mind over matter was the best thing, but this is likely because motivation is such a problem for me. I was not good at doing things for myself because I didn’t like myself enough to care and struggled with suicidal thoughts daily. I actually took a ‘negative’ self talk approach, but in the way I did it, it was different than the negative self talk I had before. I turned the depressing statements into statements that would make me angry enough to change them. Letting go of anger is easy for me again. I say again because after about a year or two or constant stress and one thing going wrong after another, I lost control of my emotions. Then made progress, then ended up in the same situation. I was once 100%, 24/7 raging angry. Controlling this emotion has been such an improvement in my life.

Thank you all! Keep up the positive!

-L.

Anita,

PTSD is very difficult disorder and I believe you are very brave to talk about it because many people simply don’t fully understand the impacts it has on daily life. Have you seen a professional for any of this? Did your mom face any punishment for her actions? Are you still in contact with her?

My suggestion is to own what you are and what you do, and to do it a little at a time if you need to. Start out first thing in the morning and don’t stop until you go to bed. Since breakfast is the time of day you mentioned being so difficult, when you wake up and before getting out of bed tell yourself “Right now, I really am fine. I am safe. I am simply going to go to the kitchen/bathroom/etc.” Then when you do that one thing, even simply walking down the hall, tell yourself “I did what I was going to. Everything is fine, I’m right here. Now I’m simply going to..” and keep going throughout your day. This might sound silly and repetitive, and obviously you can alter this to your needs, but one important thing to remember is habit. Treating any disorder, panic, affective, sleeping and so on, requires three things; actual treatment strategies, how much the individual physically and mentally puts into treatment, and usually some type of lifestyle adjustment. If you need to write beneficial sayings, goals, reminders, etc. then do it and place them at your bedside and where you eat breakfast.

If you need a more “forceful” approach try taking on the role of an outside observer that simply does not care and states the obvious, like a stereotypical, loud, football (American football if this helps clarify) coach. This can help in two ways. One, it can help by putting the exact situation you are in into perspective, and it helped me to “yell” at myself like a coach because negative thinking for example was one thing I had trouble changing. So in the morning try something like this when you start feeling scared- “Omg I’m freaking out!’ ‘What are you freaking out for? Are you hurt? No! Is that plate of breakfast scary looking? No, all it is ____, so why let it bother you?! Just finish it and get to your other responsibilities!’ The second thing this might do is motivate you even more to get out of the PTSD hold it has on you.

Just some thoughts for you Anita 🙂

-L.

I have to agree with the posts made by anita and Saiisha, they both made great points.

What I want to add is, it sounds like something might be bothering you to a certain extent. It is great that you are in a good place, no complaints on your end, but if something wasn’t bothering you, you probably wouldn’t be here. Do you feel personally fulfilled? That is important too.
Why do/did you enjoy art? Would you like to be anywhere else in the future, or are you unsure? Did anything significant happen recently? There is no reason for a change if you’re happy and responsibilities are being taken care of.
You mentioned possibly wanting to move by your parents and the beach, is this because you miss them, the setting, or specific emotions/behaviors associated with these places? If there truly is something upsetting you, you need to confront it.

That being said, if your life really is perfect in the way that you want and believe it is, then everything is as it should be.

Also, you could just be experiencing slight discomfort because of your job, or another influence. Make sure you continue staying healthy because we have a duty to ourselves to always be able to give 100% when it is needed.

Hi pantlover,

Coming from someone that is/has experienced the situation you wrote about, I want to share with you what has worked for me. I am also proud that you are at least attempting to meditate, because I personally didn’t use meditation as a type of therapy until recently. I know that if I had attempted meditation sooner and with an open heart and mind, I would have been a lot happier a lot sooner.

You have probably heard the same things like “everyone makes mistakes” or “no one is perfect”. You can hear it, see it, think it, read it, countless times over but it doesn’t matter; this isn’t good enough, you should/could have done this or that. Right?

Honestly, you need YOURSELF. LOVE yourself. No matter what you do or where you go, YOU are all YOU will ever have.
Mistakes. Did you really make life changing, ruining, saving, mistakes? Were they really that bad? I’m sure not every so called ‘mistake’ was really as terrible as you are making it. Stop beating yourself up!

Loving yourself is the best thing that will ever happen to you. ACCEPT the negative thoughts/memories/feelings that you have, fighting them will waste too much of your energy. Also, can your body afford to keep up with the stress? It really does kill your brain, something you can’t just heal (I am a psychology major).
When you experience these negative things, question them/yourself. Every time you have an answer that really isn’t an answer (Like, ‘why can’t I be happy?’ ‘Because I’m not good enough’), question it. ‘Why am I not good enough?’ Keep questioning, and eventually you will realize how sill you sound, especially if you say it out loud.

What would you tell someone in your shoes? I ask myself for advice and only give myself POSITIVE advice. It actually has helped quite a bit, but to make it a habit I first imagined talking to someone else, because it helped give me the positive and therapeutic effect of talking out my personal fears, without attaching too much of my personal self to it. Basically, I was able to ease myself into a painfully and openly dealing with things while at the same time accepting everything I could think of for what it truly was. Try doing something that you enjoy, and then or also do something relaxing, simply because you can. Enjoy yourself because there are reasons to do so. Importantly, do something relaxing that actually is relaxing. Simply going through the motions and even the thought patterns (like sitting and meditating) can not create a feeling or place inside that you are looking for. If you are more relaxed and contemplative doing something else, like cooking or taking a shower, then find a way to work some meditation around that activity or time because it might help you.