Hey Finn,

That you thought about a trip was the first step! 🙂

Another thought for travel – mental and emotional – books are mentioned to help, and here is some music, take a listen:

I was once
Tied at the root
Confined with twine
Both mind and foot
I cut it loose
And now am free
As anything
Alive can be

Unbound,
Suzzane Vega

Folks do you have songs that help with your personal development?

Sometimes I put a song like this on repeat and let it get into me. Feeding the subconscious. They say a lot of our behavior comes from there.

Big blue

Hi Allison,

You describe a really challenging experience. I too have trouble dealing with difficult people. There is an article under Popular Posts on this site that I am reading….
One approach that has worked sometimes for me is to find a common ground with the other person. When they see that you understand them even a little bit, sometimes they loosen up. For example – if you both hate the weather. Or, maybe you talk and discover a common goal or enemy.

Big blue

• This reply was modified 10 years, 6 months ago by Big blue.

Hi Raphaela,

You are upset over what happened. It is not unusual to have misunderstandings. It is also not unusual to take medicines. It seems you should not send the video because 1) he may not understand you as well as a discussion, and 2) it could get shared by accident. You can just send a FB message saying there was a misunderstanding and ask if you and he would like to talk again. If he says yes then talk. If he says no then give him time. If a lot of time passes try to focus on yourself and move on. Would this make sense?

Big blue

Hi –

I’m glad you two said what I had trouble saying and held back from saying.

Lucy you appear to have it together and are on the right track.

Inky you’re spot on as usual.

Gosh it would have been so helpful to know about this site a few years ago. I’m grateful and no worries now.

The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Suppose to Be and Embrace Who You Are
Brene Brown

Big blue

Hi Danielle lee and others,

I also relate to this. My understanding is that growing up with an alcoholic in the family made me try to fix things. I also used humor as a social flux. Even though i know this now, yesterday at work I found myself thinking about how to make someone more comfortable when I know they are just socially awkward which is ok.

It is very helpful to hear your stories and perspectives.

Thank you!

Big blue

Ahem… Um… After all that big talk…

So … for work reasons I’ve reactivated FB. I now need to review how it works sometimes.

I’m doing a ‘friend cleanse’ as I really just need to use the app. While it’s nice to see pictures, I think it’s better to remove them. I had already deleted all my content. It’s been two years of deactivation. :-/

Big blue

Hi Momchil,

That sounds fun .. and hard to do. Hats off to you for creating art.

I’m seeing improvements with jumping rope each day. It’s also hard, but fun when I get going on it.

Big blue

Hi Hmvg,

I’ve been at my own rock bottom so I know how crappy it can feel. One positive is you are aware and reaching out. Every positive step forward is a plus. Accepting yourself is a positive. You shared your story, so you are accepting yourself already. Another plus.

Now move the alcohol out of your place. I have had a food problem – if it’s not around I am not tempted to eat it. Once the alcohol is gone, another positive. Replace that escape with something healthy like a walk outside when you are feeling down. That’s a plus. Eating good food and sleeping enough are more positives. Try to do these even if you are not into it.

Is your career something that a recruiter could help you with? If so, look on the web for recruiters. Find 2-3 and call them. Introduce yourself. Visit them so they can do their best in finding you great job prospects. I propose this approach because they are experts at this. They will identify and compliment your career accomplishments, skills, passion, goals, etc. they will coach you with little adjustments to help you. Use this to refresh your LinkedIn if you use that. Each step here is positive. More pluses. Now you have some independent perspectives from recruiters, so you are not going to sell yourself short, right? You would not want to do that again. Now you have more confidence. A big plus. While the recruiters are busy looking, contact folks who you know and say you are looking for certain work. Send that updated resume. Ask for coffee meet ups for advice. If you can’t work with recruiters, then use your initial job prospecting as feedback to make your own adjustments. But, I urge you to use recruiters because they have the contacts. This is way better than sending out 100 resumes / online applications without a contact.

On the personal side, you are taking care of yourself and your daughter. You don’t need a boyfriend right now. It’s ok that you went back. Let yourself off the hook on that. We all take risks and sometimes they don’t make sense or pan out. Be kind to yourself and chill out. Forgive yourself. Another positive. Settle that out for another plus.

I’ve offered up a lot of ideas here and I’ll stop at that. I’m sure the tinybuddah community will have lots more advice, especially from a young mom’s perspective.

Big blue