Forum Replies Created
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Hi MaRia,
I can see how your emotions would get the best of you. It’s a complex situation family and friend wise. Then there’s trust. I don’t blame you for reaching out for advice on it, though, because as Matt so aptly put it, this stuff is in the past, time to let it go and be with your guy in the present.
As a Scorpio, though, another water person, my passion and dedication run high and the worst thing a girl can do is cross up on trust. I too am sensitive underneath. Being faithful is paramount. Maybe more practically because I would never be unfaithful or break a trust. Until the first time I do. Then, please don’t step on me with your heel because I’m really human.
But, if you say my mistake (the not owning up mistake) did not work for you, and you expect honest communication and trust in the relationship, I would hold hands and say yes – me too. Please forgive me. I’d talk about what our relationship means and put into perspective that this other one is in the past.
Again, it is 100% understandable that you have emotions and thoughts on this. What you need to do is to mentally forgive – everyone not just him – and work to build your own strong, trusting relationship. You’ll have other rough waters ahead, so use this as a way to grow.
Big blue
Hi Kelsi,
You got great advice, here is a guy’s perspective. I agree. My example is a bit different. When in my third year of college, and I had a commited relationship, I would drive 2 1/2 hours back each weekend from my summer internship in another city. When in town otherwise, I usually visited her side of town, a half hour away.
What would happen if you invited him to your side? Does this make sense? Or is it better to let him come see you?
Honestly I am still learning.Big blue
Hi Inky,
I’m with the Department of Redundancy Department, and I am obligated to inform you that, ahem, “Facebook drama” is redundant. It also says the same thing twice…. 🙂
Yes, the blocking move is her best setup move, in boxing the obvious is typically a jab.
Matt is making a good point. I struggle with myself and a few people. Forgiveness is a deceptively easy way to reframe the situation. That is, if you consider that the woman is doing the best thst she can, any foibles on her part are just human noise to you. A miscommunication or misalignment of different people, which is bound to happen. Now, if she is *inflicting* this noise on you, you have every right to say it’s not working for you. If you are speaking different languages so she does nit get this, then smiling and waving are – I’m pretty sure – international symbols for friendliness and departure.
Big blue
Hi,
I can be quick to say yes … Once a co-worker asked if I would buy my utilities from her reseller company, a side gig for her, and I said sure! Then I looked into it and found that it was a pyramid marketing scheme. A) she should not have asked me and B) I should have said no at first. I did ho back and say no thanks.
Big blue
Hi Jane,
This is an awkward and vexing situation. Re: breakfast and dinner.
One way to approach the conversation is a technique we used at age two, and also in market research: laddering.
Just keep asking “And why is that”? “Why.” “Oh?” “Why is that?” This gets to the real reasons usually.
If she has a job, how is apartment hunting going? “Why is that?”
Is she saving for a deposit? Waiting for a place to open up? Lining up with someone to split the rent? “Oh why?”
You do need to relax to have conversations. Re: Ruminant’s post. Is there a way to break the ice?
Such as, ‘I guess we were spoiled before, we had the place all to ourselves.’ “Hey Zelda, how’s the hunt going for your place?”Big blue
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