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How My Ex and I Created a Beautiful Friendship

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When my ex-wife and I separated in 1999 and divorced two years later, I never imagined that we would one day spend a week together as friends.

Over the past quarter century, our lives had rarely crossed, except on the day our divorce was finalized and at our daughter’s wedding in 2012. Yet here we were, sitting across from each other, talking not just about the past but about the paths that had brought us here.

It wasn’t just nostalgia. It was an excavation. Over the course of our week together, I realized that my memories of our twenty-year relationship …

Count Your Blessings Without Denying Your Problems

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Lifequakes

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The Growth That Happens When You’re in Between Chapters

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“The most powerful thing you can do right now is be patient while things are unfolding for you.” ~Idil Ahmed

When one door closes, another one opens, or so the saying goes. From experience, I know that the new door doesn’t always open right away. Often you spend some time in the hallway, the state in between what has been and what will be.

About two years ago I decided to quit my job. While I was in the process of making big decisions, I decided to give up my apartment and go abroad for a period. I didn’t have …

If You Stay Too Long in a Bad Situation

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How I Found Emotional Freedom and 3 Unexpected Benefits

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“We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.” ~Maya Angelou

What if the person you’re trying hardest to please is you?

For years, I wore a mask—a professional, composed, always-on version of myself that I thought everyone expected.

My need to please and perform was deeply rooted in my earliest experiences. I was born three months premature, and doctors called my survival a miracle. Separated from my mother and placed in an incubator for weeks, I was surrounded by love but deprived of touch and connection.

Though …

Exhausterwhelmulated

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Where Have You Been Lately?

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How to Embrace Elective (not Mandatory) Forgiveness After Trauma

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Do I need to forgive my abusive mother to let go of the past?

This is the question I found myself grappling with when I started to recover from the pain of childhood neglect. For most of my childhood, I did not have access to a consistent adult who valued me. As a result, I believed that I had no value, and I lived my life according to this belief.

I treated myself as an invaluable being by denying my needs, catering to everyone else’s, and engaging in relationships with people who sought to benefit from my low self-worth. …

That’s Enough

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6 Luxuries in Life

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How to Live a Joy-Filled Life with Chronic Illness

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“Living with chronic illness isn’t a life half-lived; it’s an opportunity to redefine what it means to be truly alive, resilient, and whole.” ~Christopher Reynolds

I have spent the past eleven years of my life in chronic pain. While this journey has been long, excruciatingly difficult, and deeply lonely, I am beginning to come to peace with my body. After seven long years of intense physical pain, anxiety, and depression, my mindset shifted.

Ironically, this shift began the moment that I got a diagnosis. In February 2020, I was diagnosed with Ehlers-Danlos syndrome. After seven years, I stopped searching and …

Good People

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When Unhappiness Is the Soul Crying Out for Nourishment

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“Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions.” ~Dalai Lama

I had been caught in a web of unhappiness for several months some time ago.

During those months, each morning looked the same. I would open my eyes, sigh in misery, and sit at the edge of the bed for a few minutes to mentally prepare myself for yet another day. It took all the energy within me, which was little, to stand up and go about the day.

Although I was unhappy for many months, I had come a long way in healing from severe anxiety. …

Let People Go

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Love and Help Others Just Because

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4 Reasons to Appreciate Hard Times and How to Cultivate Gratitude

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“Thank you for all the challenges that built my character. Thank you for all the hard times that made me appreciate the good times.” ~Unknown

Gratitude is often associated with joy, blessings, and moments that bring us happiness. But what about the times when life feels hard? Can we still find gratitude in the pain and struggles that challenge us?

A good friend went through a difficult experience this year, and she taught me that the answer is yes. Her story left a profound impact on me.

Last month, my friend finished her final round of chemotherapy, and as we …

To My Children, I’m Sorry

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Today, I Refuse to Stress Myself Out

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Tai Chi: A Strange and Powerful Dance of Freedom

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“The key is to be in a state of permanent connectedness with your inner body—to feel it at all times. This will rapidly deepen and transform your life.” ~Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now

“Relax your shoulders, keep your head high, stay grounded,” I cue myself as I walk through my morning Tai Chi. It’s still dark, but I know my moves, and my arms and legs move with confidence and ease.

Most of my life, I was a person with anxiety. I didn’t know I had anxiety, even though it was trying to speak to me as tension in …