Our Elders Were Onto Something
When You Realize You’ve Outgrown a Friendship
“Sometimes growth doesn’t look like becoming more—it looks like leaving behind what no longer fits.”
For a long time, I believed that outgrowing a friendship meant I had failed at it.
That belief took root early, at boarding school, where friendships weren’t just social—they were survival. We didn’t see each other for a few hours a day. We lived together. Ate together. Studied, slept, and grew up side by side.
There was no going home to reset. No space to retreat and recalibrate. Friendship wasn’t optional—it was the environment.
So when I later began to outgrow one of those friendships, …
I Stopped Asking “Why Me?” and Started Asking “What Now?”
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response.” ~Viktor Frankl
For a long time, my first response to difficulty was a single, aching question: “Why me?”
It surfaced whenever life took an unexpected turn—when plans collapsed, when effort didn’t materialize, when circumstances felt unfair and overwhelming. I believed that if I could understand why something was happening, I would somehow fix the situation and regain control. That the answer would soften the blow.
But it never did.
One experience, in particular, changed my relationship with that question.
I remember …
Moral Injury: When the People Meant to Protect You Fail
“Trauma is not what happens to you, but what happens inside you as a result of what happens to you.” ~Dr. Gabor Maté
Most people think trauma comes from what frightened us.
But not all trauma is rooted in fear. Some wounds come from betrayal—when something violates our sense of right and wrong, and we’re left to carry the cost alone.
This kind of injury doesn’t happen simply because something bad occurred. It happens because a moral line was crossed—by a person, an authority, or a system we believed would protect us. What follows isn’t just pain but a lasting …
How I Found Focus and Presence When Meditation Didn’t Work
“Meditation is a way of being, not a technique.” ~Jon Kabat-Zinn
I didn’t think I was someone who “couldn’t meditate.”
I had read the books. I understood the benefits. I knew, intellectually, that sitting with my breath was supposed to help me feel calmer, more present, more myself.
And yet every time I tried, something inside me tightened.
My mind raced. My body felt exposed. Stillness didn’t feel peaceful—it felt like being left alone with something that didn’t know how to hold me.
So I stopped trying.
For a long time, I assumed this meant there was something wrong …
I Stopped Trying to Be Chosen and Finally Found Love
“You can’t perform your way into being loved. You can only reveal yourself and trust that the right person will love what they find.”
Finding the unmarked door, I stepped into a dimly lit room pulsing with that “Love Jones” energy. Neo-soul played low, red lighting cast shadows across faces, and the bass line vibrated through my chest. This was the kind of place where real conversations happened.
I was nursing a cocktail when he appeared beside me. Dark eyes, easy smile, the kind of presence that makes you sit up straighter. “What are you drinking?”
Within minutes, we’d moved …
Need a Break from Everything?
I think it’s probably fair to say that most of us are feeling overwhelmed right now. We’re all dealing with a lot. Work stress. Family responsibilities. Relationship struggles. Health challenges. The pressure to keep going even when we’re absolutely exhausted.
Lately my own life has been ridiculously full. Between running the site, homeschooling my older son, and navigating some stressful family situations, I’ve often felt like I’m in survival mode. I’m sure a lot of you know what that’s like.
And it’s not just busyness that makes it all feel so draining. It’s also the constant noise. Even if you’re
What I Ask Myself Now Instead of “What’s Wrong with Me?”
“With self-compassion, we give ourselves the same kindness and care we’d give to a good friend.” ~Kristin Neff
For a long time, I carried a question with me that I rarely said out loud.
It wasn’t dramatic. It didn’t sound cruel. It felt reasonable—even responsible.
What’s wrong with me?
The question surfaced whenever I felt stuck. When motivation disappeared. When I couldn’t seem to do the things I thought I should be able to do with ease. It appeared quietly in moments of overwhelm, in the pause before self-judgment set in.
I asked it sincerely. I believed it was the …
Why Letting Myself Fall Apart Set Me Free
“Ironically enough, when you make peace with the fact that the purpose of life is not happiness but rather experience and growth, happiness comes as a natural byproduct. When you are not seeking it as the objective, it will find its way to you.” ~Unknown
I had ten days to pack up my life.
I was moving from Toronto to Florida, and I decided—very confidently—that I would only take what fit in my SUV. Everything else would be donated, sold, or given away. Ten days. One car. A clean slate.
It felt intentional. Grounded. Like the kind of choice someone …
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