The Most Dangerous Form of Blindness
“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” ~Rumi
The room didn’t change when she left. The chair was where it had always been, angled toward the window the way she liked it. What changed was that I could finally see the shape of the thing I’d been leaning on, now that it wasn’t there to lean on anymore.
For a long time, I called what I felt “love,” and some of it was. But underneath the grief was something I was slower to admit. A lot of what I missed wasn’t her. It was the version of …
“Every moment, every challenge, every inner reaction is here to show you exactly what you need to let go of in order to be free.” ~Michael A. Singer
The other day, while standing in the kitchen, I grabbed my phone to send a text, but it didn’t recognize my face. Suddenly, every time I wanted to use it, I had to enter my four-digit code. The whole process took no more than two seconds, yet I caught myself sighing with exasperation every time.
My reaction surprised me. Had I become so accustomed to immediacy that even such a tiny …
“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” ~Rumi
The first winter, I learned to lie cheerfully.
“How are you settling in?” someone would ask, and I would smile and say, “Really well, thank you.” That was the most fluent English I spoke all day.
I had left a warm, loud, crowded life and landed in a quiet apartment in a country where the cold did something to the air that made it hurt to breathe. I was a student, far from everyone who knew my name properly. I was supposed to be grateful.
And I was grateful. …
“Taking care of yourself doesn’t mean me first; it means me too.” ~L.R. Knost
We live in a society that celebrates pushing through; burnout is often worn as a badge of honor, and many job descriptions state bluntly, “Must be able to perform well under pressure and thrive in a fast-paced environment.”
I’m very well aware that self-care isn’t a luxury; it’s essential. “You can’t pour from an empty cup” and “You must put on your own oxygen mask first before assisting others” are two of the most well-known quotes. And while they might sound like a cliché, they are …
“Trauma creates change you don’t choose. Healing is about creating change you do choose.” ~Michelle Rosenthal”
Today I am sitting in my favorite café in Venice Mall. I got my favorite seat, the one near the water.
I have spent countless hours here. I have cried here. Journaled here. Drawn here. Consoled myself here.
There was a time when this café felt like my only refuge from a life that felt too heavy to carry.
Today I am sitting in the same seat, drinking the same tea, looking at the same water. And for the first time, I realized something. …
“You can’t depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.” ~Mark Twain
It started with a clogged kitchen drain. Or maybe the drain was where everything else I’d been carrying finally surfaced.
Regardless, the water wasn’t moving. It was so bad that some of it backed up in the bathroom sink. Baking soda and vinegar didn’t help. Neither did copious pots of boiling water.
I felt my jaw clench, shoulders stiffen, and breath shorten. My brain, seeing a break in my supposedly impenetrable shield, saw this as a perfect opportunity to create a disaster movie screenplay on …