You Don’t Have to Be Just One Thing
When “Protecting Your Peace” Is Really Avoidance
“Peace is not the absence of conflict, but the ability to cope with it.” ~Anonymous
My sister called four times before I picked up.
Not four times in one day—four times over three weeks. Each time, I watched her name light up my phone, felt something tighten in my chest, and set my phone face-down on the counter.
I told myself I was protecting my peace. I’d read that phrase everywhere that year. It was on water bottles, on Instagram infographics, on the lock screens of women I admired who seemed to have figured out something I hadn’t. Protect your
How the People We Love Live On in Us
“What we have once enjoyed deeply we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us.” ~Helen Keller
Growing up, I thought my father was a pack rat.
He never seemed to throw anything away. Bent nails. Odd screws. Washers without matching bolts. Short pieces of lumber that looked too small to be useful. If there was even the slightest chance something might come in handy someday, he found a place for it in the cellar.
I couldn’t understand it.
Why save things you could replace for a few cents at the hardware store?
He would …
A Simple Question That Helps When I Feel Anxious
“In every walk with nature one receives far more than he seeks.” ~John Muir
I used to think life was like an obstacle course, a series of hurdles you either cleared or stumbled over. For a long time, I stumbled a lot.
What I didn’t realize then was how easily repeated setbacks can turn into a habit of expecting the next one. After a while, you stop living in the present and start waiting for the other shoe to drop.
After I graduated from college, I followed the path I thought I was supposed to take. I moved to Philadelphia …
I Broke My Patterns and Love Still Didn’t Last
“When a flower doesn’t bloom, you fix the environment in which it grows, not the flower.” ~Alexander Den Heijer
He was intelligent, well-read, and kind. A good father, careful about protecting his kids from meeting partners too soon. A man with a life philosophy, who kept his word, who told the truth with an honesty that didn’t flinch—and it wasn’t a performance. He wasn’t afraid of healthy conflict; he could sit in a hard conversation without disappearing. And he also happened to be tall, dark, and handsome.
He checked almost every single thing on my list. And I mean that …
When Your Sadness Starts Coloring Everything
“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response.” ~Viktor Frankl
A few weeks ago, I moved to a new city for a new job, leaving behind a quiet hill town where I had built five years of friendships, routines, and a version of myself I understood well. I told everyone, including myself, that I was excited. Mostly, I was. But underneath the excitement was a grief I hadn’t fully named yet.
I didn’t notice it arriving. I only noticed what it left behind.
It was an ordinary afternoon when I …
