Dear Me
When “Nothing Is Wrong” Keeps You in the Wrong Life
“The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.” ~Carl Jung
I was twenty-eight years old, standing in front of a mirror, reaching for my lipstick.
I couldn’t put it on.
I was engaged. A wedding was ahead of me. The invitations, expectations, and imagined future were already gathering momentum.
Nothing was visibly wrong.
That was the problem.
As I looked at my reflection, I could not find myself inside the life I was preparing to enter.
There had been no betrayal, no dramatic confrontation, and no single moment I could point to and say, “There. That …
The Year I Tried to Optimize My Way into Love
“Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.” ~William Bruce Cameron
I noticed it halfway through the conversation.
We were outside a café on a warm Saturday, close enough to the next table that I could hear someone laughing behind me. The person across from me was telling a story about getting lost on a hike, because they had been certain they could manage without a map, and they were laughing at themselves as they told it. I laughed in the right place.
Then my attention slid. Sense of humor, strong. Conversation, easy. …
Why Rest Should Be a Priority, Not a Reward
“In an age of constant movement, nothing is so urgent as sitting still.” ~Pico Iyer, from his TED talk “The Art of Stillness”
It was a Tuesday in late September, the kind of afternoon that feels borrowed from summer. I had a work deadline at 5:00. I went to the park anyway.
I spread a blanket on the grass, unpacked a little cheese and some fruit, and poured tea from the thermos I’d filled mostly out of habit. I had a book in my bag that I never opened.
For two hours, I sat outside in the middle …
How “Doing Fine” Was Actually Holding Me Back
“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” ~Carl Rogers
For most of my life, the story looked like a straight line going up. I never hit bottom. This isn’t that kind of story.
And for a long time, that was exactly the problem.
From the outside, my life looked good. I had built things I was proud of and a family I love. If you knew me, you would have said I was doing well, and you would probably have been right.
So this isn’t a story about hitting bottom. …
Emotionally Overwhelmed? 5 Simple Practices That Can Help
“Whatever you’re feeling, it will eventually pass. You won’t feel sad forever. At some point, you will feel happy again. You won’t feel anxious forever. In time, you will feel calm again. You don’t have to fight your feelings or feel guilty for having them. You just have to accept them and be good to yourself while you ride this out. Resisting your emotions and shaming yourself will only cause you more pain, and you don’t deserve that. You deserve your own love, acceptance, and compassion.” ~Lori Deschene
One cry a day. I have used this four-word phrase to defend …
