Put Your Phone Down
The Subtle Ways You Lose Yourself in a Toxic Relationship
“Emotional abuse is any pattern of behavior that undermines a person’s sense of self-worth and reality.” ~Beverly Engel
At first, the changes were small.
I stopped wearing that outfit everyone liked because they said it didn’t look good on me. I let certain friendships fade because it made him uncomfortable. I laughed less at things he didn’t find funny.
I face-checked myself to make sure my expression was pleasing to him. I shrank just slightly, in ways no one else would notice.
Then it got bigger.
I stopped trusting my own judgment because he told me I was too sensitive. …
My Father Taught Me Love Is Something You Earn; He Was Wrong
“One of the hardest things I’ve had to understand is that closure comes from within. Especially difficult if you’ve been betrayed by someone you love because you feel like you gotta let them know the pain they caused, but the peace you seek can only be given to you by you.” ~Bruna Nessif
A photo of my father handing me a tennis trophy has hung in my living room for years.
Even now, if I stare at it too long, I can feel the old rush: pride, relief, belonging. For most of my life, that photograph served as proof that …
What Helped Me Heal from a Breakup and Create a Life I Love
“Courage is not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it.” ~Nelson Mandela
First, I slept in a snow shelter at -20°C.
Second, I stood alone on a stage in Montreal and tried to make strangers laugh.
Third, I stuck out my thumb on the side of a highway with nothing but a backpack and hoped that a stranger would take me home, 1,200 kilometers away.
I did all of these things deliberately, on purpose, as part of a project I called my Year of Fear. The idea was simple: face one new personal fear every month for a …
The Cult of People and What It Means to Be Free
“Sometimes walking away is the only way to stop walking away from yourself.” ~Unknown
I was between sessions. My TV was on in the background—something I’d half-started watching called The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives on Hulu—as I walked into the kitchen to make myself some lunch.
It’s about a group of Mormon wives who became TikTok famous and got into what they call “soft swing.” In one scene, a young woman argues with her mother, who has a long list of rules about how her daughter should behave. The daughter has been avoiding church, tiptoeing around the threat of …
