Burnout Doesn’t Always Look Loud
How to Stop Living to Please and Stay True to Yourself
“When you say yes to others, make sure you aren’t saying no to yourself.” ~Paulo Coelho
Have you ever felt like no matter how much you give, it’s never enough? Like your worth is measured by how useful, accommodating, or strong you can be for others?
This invisible burden is what I call the Good Girl / Good Boy Wound—a deep-seated conditioning that tells us our value lies in pleasing others, even at the cost of losing ourselves.
For generations, we’ve been taught to shape ourselves according to the expectations of those around us. Girls are often encouraged to be …
Feeling Stuck, Anxious, or Lost? Choose Your Free Guide
If you’ve felt stuck lately, you’re not alone.
Since I launched the (very delayed) Best You, Best Life bundle on Monday, I’ve heard from so many people who are going through a lot right now—emotionally, mentally, and energetically.
Maybe you’re stuck in survival mode—going through the motions, numb and disconnected, longing for joy and meaning.
Maybe you’re overwhelmed by anxiety, dread, or the constant feeling that something’s wrong—even if you don’t know what it is.
Or maybe you’re a deeply feeling person who’s taken on everyone else’s pain, and now you’re not sure where you went.
Lately, I’ve …
How Avoiding Painful Emotions Can Lead to a Smaller Life
“Being cut off from our own natural self-compassion is one of the greatest impairments we can suffer.” ~Gabor Mate
Most of us avoid experiences not necessarily because we don’t like them or want them, but because we don’t want to feel how we will feel when we go through that experience.
Our lives become altered by the emotions we don’t want to feel because we don’t want to move toward the thing that could bring strong emotions like fear, shame, sadness, or disappointment.
We don’t want to go to that party because we’ll probably feel awkward and embarrassed.
We …
5 Powerful Mindset Shifts to Stop Worrying About What Other People Think
“Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner.” ~Lao Tzu
We carefully pick out what we wear to the gym to make sure we look good in the eyes of the other gymgoers.
We beat ourselves up after meetings, running through everything we said (or didn’t say), worried that coworkers will think we aren’t smart or talented enough.
We post only the best picture out of the twenty-seven selfies we took and add a flattering filter to get the most likes to prove to ourselves that we are pretty and likable.
We live in other …
Why You’re Not Happy (Even If Life Looks Fine)
Do you sometimes see people running around enjoying life and wonder what you’re missing? Sometimes I used to think I must be a horrible person. I had so many things going for me, and I still couldn’t be happy. I would ask myself, is there something wrong with me? Am I a narcissist?
Then sometimes I would decide I was just going to be happy. I would fake it until I made it and just accept that’s who I was. But it wouldn’t take long for me to feel overwhelmingly depressed.
I had a little dark hole that would constantly …
How to Make the Most of Our Time with the People We Love
“Enjoy the little things in life, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.” ~Robert Brault
With only a few more months until my son leaves for college, I am a mindfulness teacher wrestling with my own heart and mind.
While avoiding the frequent mom conversations about “empty nesting,” I’m struggling to admit that my last child leaving home may be harder than I thought. Ironic, since working skillfully with difficult emotions is exactly what I teach.
Every school event I attend feels like a heavy, steady march toward graduation day. Yesterday in the …
Trichotillomania to Triumph: How I Found Acceptance and Freedom
“Your either like me or you don’t. It took me twenty-something years to learn how to love myself. I don’t have that kinda time to convince somebody else.” ~Daniel Franzese
Everyone has a bad habit or two, right? Whether it’s a major vice or a minor annoyance, we all feel the discomfort of at least some behaviors we would rather not have.
You know, like nail biting, hair twirling, procrastination, having a car that doubles as a convenient trash receptacle…
I’ve been guilty of all the above at one point or another in my life, but the one that has …
Why Holding Space Is Better Than Gripping for Control
“Anything you can’t control is teaching you how to to let go.” ~Unknown
There’s a story I read to my children, an old piece of African folklore. In the tale, a clever jackal outwits a mighty lion by convincing him that the rock ledge above them is about to collapse. The lion, believing the jackal’s warning, uses all his strength to push up against the rock, holding it in place.
The jackal promises to return with a branch to support the ledge, but instead, he makes his escape. Hours later, exhausted, the lion finally collapses, throwing his paws over his …
The Power of Finding Love Without a “How To” Formula
“Know all the theories, master all the techniques, but as you touch a human soul ,be just another human soul.” ~Carl Jung
For years, I poured myself into learning about love, relationships, and personal growth. I read every book I could get my hands on, signed up for countless classes, and surrounded myself with affirmations, tools, and techniques that promised me the keys to love. I was on a mission, convinced that with enough knowledge, I could finally unlock the door to a successful, fulfilling relationship.
But no matter how much I learned, how much I transformed my
What Happened When I Went Off the Social Media Grid
“Remember, being happy doesn’t mean you have it all. It simply means you’re thankful for all you have.” ~Unknown
It was 3 a.m. when I realized I was the only person not in St. Barts. At least that’s what it felt like on Instagram, even though I know it wasn’t true. I wasn’t the only person not dancing on tables to a saxophone in the Caribbean. My fiancé was asleep right next to me.
For the next three hours, I continued down the rabbit hole.
Three hostages were released. Trump did more things to avoid bringing up at dinner parties, …
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