A Peaceful Life
How Being the Strong One in My Family Became a Trap
“The world breaks everyone, and afterward, many are strong at the broken places.” ~Ernest Hemingway
My grandmother had just died. My sister and I had come from the room where her body still lay, and we were standing in the elevator in silence when the doors slid closed. My sister looked at me and said, “Now you’re the last strong one in this family.”
It was comforting to hear her words. I felt proud. And then, almost immediately, something else. My stomach clenched. I just wanted to stop the elevator, run away, and never look back. My sister wasn’t …
Lessons from Slowing Down: What My Body Needed to Feel Better
“Take care of your body. It’s the only place you have to live.” ~Jim Rohn
I used to think tiredness was a personality trait.
I was the person who could work fourteen hours, sleep five, and do it again. I wore my exhaustion like armor. It proved I was serious. It proved I was dedicated. It proved I was worth something.
What it actually proved was that I was running my body into the ground.
The Surgeon Who Could Not Heal Herself
I trained as a surgeon in London. My days started before the sun came up. They ended …
How to Overcome Ultra-Independence and Receive Love and Support
“Ultra-independence is a coping mechanism we develop when we’ve learned it’s not safe to trust love or when we are terrified to lose ourselves in another. We aren’t meant to go it alone. We are wounded in relationship and we heal in relationship.” ~Rising Woman
Do you feel like you have to do everything on your own?
Is it difficult for you to ask for and receive help for fear of being let down?
Have you ever heard the expression “Ultra-independence may be a trauma response”?
If this is you, I get it; that was me too.
Please know there …
The Powerful Insight That Helped Me Worry Less and Sleep Again
“Surrender is not about giving up. It is about letting go of the illusion of control.” ~Judith Orloff
Watching my mother lose her memory while I was losing mine felt like a cruel preview of my future—until I learned that stress, not genetics, was writing my story.
It was 3:47 a.m.—again. I’d been awake since 2:13, and before that I’d slept maybe ten minutes.
This had been my pattern for years: wake up shortly after falling asleep, check the clock, lie there frustrated.
Wake again, check the clock, review the day prior, and plan the next day.
But this …
Breaking Free from Self-Consciousness and Erythrophobia
“Shame is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging.” ~Brené Brown
I used to call myself a “beetroot.” It was a label of defectiveness that my inner critic screamed at me every time I felt the heat rising in my cheeks. For years, I lived with erythrophobia, an intense and persistent fear of blushing that quietly dismantled my world from the inside out.
Most people blush. A warm flush creeps up the neck before a first date or a public speech, and then it passes. For me, …
To the Wounded Parent Who Wants to Do Everything Right
“The greatest gift you can give your children is your own healing.” ~Dr. Shefali Tsabary
Am I doing too much or not enough?
Am I screwing my child up? Am I being too hard on my child? Am I being too soft? Am I spending enough time with my child? Do I help too much? Should I help more?
Is my son going to be taken advantage of because he talks about his feelings? Is my daughter going to be considered too bossy because she has boundaries? Should I be doing more as a parent? Or less?
These are the …
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