It’s the Little Things People Do
The Questions That Helped Me Reclaim My Life
“You can rewrite the story. You just have to pick up the pen.” ~Unknown
I remember the exact moment I started disappearing.
It was my wedding day. Just before I walked down the aisle, my mother gently reached for my hand and said, “Your hands are freezing!”
She was right. I was ice-cold.
At first, I laughed it off—after all, it was February in Connecticut. Cold hands made sense, right? But that day, something didn’t add up.
We were in the middle of an unusual Indian summer. The air was warm, the sun soft and golden. People were sipping champagne …
The Child I Lost and the Inner Child I’m Now Learning to Love
“Our sorrows and wounds are healed only when we touch them with compassion.” ~Jack Kornfield
Her absence lingers in the stillness of early mornings, in the moments between tasks, in the hush of evening when the day exhales. I’ve gotten good at moving. At staying busy. At producing. But sometimes, especially lately, the quiet catches me—and I fall in.
Grief doesn’t always roar. Sometimes it’s a whisper, one you barely hear until it’s grown into a wind that bends your bones.
It’s been nearly three years since my daughter passed. People told me time would help. That the firsts—first holidays, …
Why I Learned to Stay Quiet to Be “Good”
“Your silence will not protect you.” ~Audre Lorde
When I was little, I learned that being “good” meant being quiet.
Not just with my voice, but with my needs. My emotions. Even the space I took up.
I don’t remember anyone sitting me down and saying, “Don’t speak unless spoken to.” But I felt it—in the flinches when I was too loud, the tension when I cried, the subtle praise when I stayed calm, agreeable, small. I felt it in the way adults sighed with relief when I didn’t make a fuss. I felt it in the way I stopped …
How I Learned to Treat Myself Like Someone I Love
“Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I built my life.” ~J.K. Rowling
Most people who know me will say I am incredibly kind, loving, and empathetic. They know me as a safe person that they can share anything with and that I won’t judge. What they may not know is I am incredibly judgmental and unkind to myself.
When it comes to others, I see light and love. I see confusion and fear behind their misguided actions. I see mistakes as learning opportunities. For myself, I used to see…if I dare say it, a stupid girl who should …
How I Got Free from the Trap of Resentment
“Jerry, there is some bad in the best of people and some good in the worst of people. Look for the good!” ~George Chaky, my grandfather
I was seven when he said that to me. It would later become a guiding principle in my life.
My grandfather was twenty-one when he came to the US with his older brother, Andrew. Shortly afterward, he married Maria, my grandmother, and they had five children. William, the second youngest, died at the age of seven from an illness.
One year later they lost all of their savings during the Great Depression of 1929 …
Pay What You Can for 21 Days of Laughs and Light
My electric toothbrush has seen it all.
I usually look in the mirror when I’m brushing my teeth, and for a while last fall, I often cried when I stared into my own eyes.
I did my best to hold it together in front of my sons—most of the time, anyway. But the mask often cracked when I met my own gaze. Deep sobs set to the gentle hum of my sonic. Life was just that overwhelming—with medical issues, a loved one’s shock diagnosis, and countless other challenges too numerous to list.
Then one day, after months of carrying more …
I Spent Years Chasing Love Until I Finally Chose Myself
“The only people who get upset when you set boundaries are the ones who benefited from you having none.” ~Unknown
For most of my life, I lived with a quiet ache, a longing I couldn’t quite name but always felt. I wanted to be chosen. Not just liked or tolerated, but fully seen, wanted, and loved.
That longing shaped so many of my choices. I over-gave in relationships, staying in situations far longer than I should have, and shrank myself to be accepted.
I didn’t know it at the time, but I was trying to fill an emptiness that had …
The Lie of Packaged Healing and the Truth About Feeling
“Emotions are not problems to be solved. They are signals to be felt.” ~Vironika Tugaleva
We’ve been taught to package our emotions like fast food—served quick, tidy, and with a smile. Americanized feelings. Digestible. Non-threatening. Always paired with productivity.
If you’re sad, journal it. If you’re angry, regulate it. If you’re overwhelmed, fix it with a three-step plan and a green juice. And if that doesn’t work? Try again. You probably missed a step.
This is how we sell emotional healing in the West—marketed like a self-improvement product. Seven-minute abs. Seven habits. Five love languages. Follow the formula. Find the …
The Hidden Link Between Self-Rejection and Social Anxiety
“True belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world. Our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance.” ~Brené Brown
Last year over lunch, my friend, Jess, confessed something to me that hit me right in my gut because I’d been there too—that exact same lie, that exact same fear.
Out of nowhere, she blurted out, “I need to cancel.”
“Cancel what?” I asked.
She burst into tears. “I RSVPed yes to Jen’s wedding months ago, but it’s this weekend, and I just… I can’t do it.”
As she sobbed, she …
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