Being Still and Quiet
Permission to Rest: What Happened When I Embraced Stillness
“If you are continually judging and criticizing yourself while trying to be kind to others, you are drawing artificial boundaries and distinctions that only lead to feelings of separation and isolation.” ~Kristin Neff
I was lying on my couch again, Netflix playing in the background, when I heard my husband’s footsteps on the stairs. Instinctively, I reached for my phone, desperate to appear busy—productive—anything but resting.
For months, that had been my routine. As the severe anemia from my adenomyosis and fibroids worsened, I found myself increasingly couch-bound, dizzy, and exhausted. Yet each time my husband entered the room, I’d …
Feeling Stuck? Maybe You Don’t Need to ‘Fix’ It Right Now
“Growth is painful. Change is painful. But nothing is as painful as staying stuck where you do not belong.” ~N. R. Narayana Murthy
Anyone who had a Stretch Armstrong as a kid remembers that moment when you and a friend would test the limits of what good ol’ Armstrong could handle. You’d each grab an arm and slowly walk backward, waiting for that pivotal moment when either your strength would give out or Armstrong’s limbs would tear apart like a medieval torture device.
If you reached your strength limit, an older sibling would eagerly join in—nothing brought them more joy …
A Free 3-Day Vacation to Calm Your Nervous System
Tell me, is your jaw clenched as you’re reading this? Are your shoulders hunched? Do you feel tension throughout your body that mirrors the constant buzz of stress within your mind?
I suspect we all feel like this far more often than we may even realize because, for many of us, it’s the norm. We push ourselves through one busy day after another, stuffing our feelings down in a constant state of agitation, without ever recognizing that our nervous systems are stuck in survival mode—and that we have the power to break free.
If any of this sounds familiar to …
The Mean Instinct: Why We Exclude Others and How to Stop
“In a world where you can be anything, be kind.” ~Unknown
“Girls are mean!” I nodded knowingly as my boss struggled to explain the difference between raising boys and girls. I couldn’t speak to raising boys, but I remembered all too well what it was like when my daughters were growing up.
Girls traveled in packs, always with a leader at the helm. And almost every week, one of the lesser-ranked members was cast out, ostracized from the group. More often than not, it was one of my daughters. I distinctly recall their heartbreak—the kind of deep, inconsolable sorrow that …
Meditation: A Simple Way to Show Up Fully in Your Life
“The real meditation is how you live your life.” ~Jon Kabat-Zinn
I never saw myself as someone who would meditate. It wasn’t even on my radar until my wife suggested it while we were both working on our wellness. I chuckled. Like a lot of people, I assumed meditation meant sitting still, trying to clear my mind, whatever that even meant. It sounded impossible and, frankly, frustrating.
I grew up in the rust belt, part of the baby boomer generation, and I’ve spent my life working hard, showing up, and taking care of my own. I love hard and play …
Transmuting Shame: None of Us Need to Be Fixed
“Shame is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love, belonging, and connection.” ~Brené Brown, Atlas of the Heart
This past year, I started the journey of investigating—maybe even befriending—“my” shame.
I use quotes around the “my” because most of the shame is not mine; much of it is internalized sexism, racisim, anti-blackness and homophobia, and/or intergenerational—it was passed down to me. And while I didn’t choose to internalize or inherit it, it is my responsibility to care for “my” shame, to tenderize it with love and compassion so …
Lessons from a Former Overthinker: How to Start Really Living
“Rule your mind, or it will rule you.” ~Buddha
I used to be trapped in a cycle of overthinking, replaying past mistakes, worrying about the future, and mentally holding onto every thought, just as I physically held onto old clothes, books, and my child’s outgrown toys.
The fear of letting go—whether of physical items or persistent thoughts—felt overwhelming. But I didn’t realize that this habit of mental hoarding was keeping me stuck in place.
The Anxiety of Letting Go—My Last Day of School
One of my earliest experiences with mental hoarding happened on my last day …
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