Loosen a Bit
Why I Gossiped and What I Now Do Instead
“Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss people.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt
I stopped gossiping when life humbled me. I didn’t realize at the time, but what I thought was just innocent girl talk with my friends was really a way to escape my own shame and insecurity.
I had this quiet, ongoing sense that I wasn’t measuring up personally or emotionally. Gossiping about someone else gave me a fleeting escape, since it allowed me to shift my focus to someone else’s behavior. Every time I did it, I felt a sense of guilt and shame after, but I never thought too …
What Happens When the Strong Friend Finally Asks for Help?
“We don’t build trust by offering help. We build trust by asking for it.” ~Simon Sinek
I have always been the strong sister, partner, and friend.
I didn’t make a conscious decision one day to be the strong one and stuck to it. It became who it was from a very young age, being the firstborn daughter. I was used to carrying a larger load than my siblings. Being the strong and responsible one was rewarded by my parents, and it’s what kept people close.
I am the friend you call when you can’t think straight. I am the friend …
What Happened to My Body When I Suppressed My Emotions
“Our bodies communicate to us clearly and specifically, if we are willing to listen.” ~Shakti Gawain
As a child, I was never taught to regulate my emotions. I learned instead to override them—pushing through stress, swallowing tears, and even hiding a cast at dinner, afraid that showing what had happened to me would create anger instead of care.
By the time I was a teenager, I turned to drugs and alcohol to manage my emotions. It was easier to feel nothing at all than to be bombarded by emotions I had no clue what to do with.
This turned into …
Anxiety Sucks, But It Taught Me These 7 Important Things
“Anxiety is the dizziness of freedom.” ~Soren Kierkegaard
Let’s be clear:
This isn’t an article about positive thinking.
This isn’t an article about how silver linings make everything okay.
This isn’t an article about how your perspective on anxiety is all wrong.
The kids call those things “toxic positivity.”
No toxic positivity here.
This is an article about my lifelong relationship with anxiety and what I’ve learned from something that won’t go away. At times the anxiety spikes and feels almost crippling. I have a hard time appreciating the learning at those times, but it’s still there.
That is what …
Why I Let My Kids See My Sadness Now (After Hiding It for Years)
“I will not teach or love or show you anything perfectly, but I will let you see me, and I will always hold sacred the gift of seeing you—truly, deeply, seeing you.” ~Brené Brown
The first time my kids saw me truly cry was Christmas of 2021. My oldest was sixteen, and my youngest was twelve.
They had just opened their presents. It should have been a warm, joyful morning. Instead, I turned away toward the foyer near the entry of the house, my back to them, as tears threatened to spill over. My mom—whose emotional chaos had disrupted a …
