Generational Wealth Is
How I Stopped Being the Victim of My Own Story
“The most common form of despair is not being who you are.” ~Søren Kierkegaard
A few years ago, I was catching up over coffee with an old friend I’ll call Ray, a trusted mentor. He’s a few years older than me, silver-haired and down to earth, the kind of man who listens with his whole heart.
We were at a small coffee shop near my house. I told him about my first year as a director, how I’d gone from being a counselor whose identity was built around listening and connecting to suddenly managing budgets, writing evaluations, and holding people …
I Don’t Miss My Ex—I Miss Who I Was with Her
“Nostalgia is a file that removes the rough edges from the good old days.” ~Doug Larson
I don’t miss Zinia.
I miss the Zinia I made up.
The real Zinia—the one who fought with me for hours over things that became bigger than they should have, who said things I told myself I’d never forgive, who was wrong for me in ways I kept pretending weren’t there—I got rid of all of that somewhere along the way.
I kept the laugh. The chemistry. The way she got my humor without me having to explain it. The conversations that ran till …
The Truth About Time That Most of Us Avoid Facing
“The biggest adventure you can take is to live the life of your dreams.” ~Oprah Winfrey
My father died at forty-nine.
I was young when it happened, still soft in the way grief makes you when you are not yet equipped to hold it. I was so consumed by the loss itself that I never stopped to do the mathematics of it. Forty-nine years. That is all he got. Forty-nine years to do everything he wanted to do, to become everything he wanted to become, and to say every word he still had left inside him.
I did not let …
How Better Communication Changed My Relationships and My Life
“When we avoid difficult conversations, we trade short-term discomfort for long-term dysfunction.” ~Peter Bromberg
Have you ever looked around at other people’s lives and wondered, “How do they do that?”
How do they seem so steady, so connected, so… together?
From where I stood, there appeared to be a certain kind of person—someone confident, kind, thoughtful, and at ease in her relationships. And because she enjoyed her relationships, she seemed to enjoy her life.
I was not her.
For a long time, I thought I was the “nice” one in my relationships because I avoided confrontational conversations. But …
What Letting My Dad Go Taught Me About Love
“Some of us think holding on makes us strong, but sometimes it is letting go.” ~Hermann Hesse
My dad was intubated, so he couldn’t say the words back to me.
I told him I loved him anyway.
Instead, he slowly pointed to himself and then to me.
“You love me too?” I asked.
His eyes widened ever so slightly, and he nodded gently, giving me the biggest response his body could offer. I held onto that moment like it was something solid in a room where everything else was slipping away.
It was the last moment we had together before
