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The Pressure to Excel: When Success Feels Like Survival
“To tie your worth to achievements is a recipe for suffering.” ~Brad Bizjack
Children don’t just learn mathematics, science, and languages in school. They also learn what success feels like, what failure means, who they believe they are, and sometimes, whether they think they belong.
When I was in primary school, my school introduced academic streaming. If there were four grade seven classes, the highest-performing students were placed in the first stream, followed by the second, third, and fourth streams based on academic performance.
On paper, it made perfect sense. Students would learn alongside peers of similar academic ability, and …
How “Missing the Boat” Led Me Somewhere Better
A few months ago, I found myself wondering whether I had made a mistake.
It is not a question I expected to be asking in my seventies.
Like many people my age, I sometimes think about retirement, savings, and financial security. I look around and see friends who spent decades building stable careers and preparing for the future. Some seem to have arrived exactly where they planned.
Meanwhile, my own life feels harder to explain.
I have spent much of it following opportunities that interested me rather than opportunities that promised security. Looking back, I sometimes wonder whether I should …
The Power of Waiting When You Don’t Know What to Do
“Waiting is not mere empty hoping. It has the inner certainty of reaching the goal.” ~I Ching
Waiting has a bad rap in modern Western society. It’s not surprising that I had to look to an ancient Chinese text (the I Ching) in order to find a suitable quote to begin this article. We don’t like to wait! It’s far easier to find quotes on the Internet about “seizing the day” and making something happen.
I’ve been an impatient person for much of my life. I wanted things to happen to me! I had a definite agenda in my …
How a Chronic Illness Changed My Life for the Better
“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” ~Viktor Frankl
I smiled when the doctor told me I had a disease I would carry for the rest of my life.
He was calling with my biopsy results, and the word he used was “Crohn’s.” I had no idea what it meant. But after months of pain that no one could explain, hearing an actual name for it felt like someone had finally turned on a light in a dark room. I wasn’t scared. I was relieved.
To understand why, I have to …
Why It’s So Hard to Just Rest and Why We Need to Do It
“If you don’t give your mind and body a break, you’ll break. Stop pushing yourself through pain and exhaustion and take care of your needs.” ~Lori Deschene
In November of 2021, my autoimmune issues flared up. My doctor and I are still unsure which of my conditions—rheumatoid arthritis or fibromyalgia—was the culprit, or if they were acting in cahoots, but the overall achiness and debilitating fatigue were a solid indication that something was more active than usual.
I woke up tired, needed naps, and often ran out of spoons—a phrase familiar to many with chronic conditions, based on a gorgeous …
