Love Is in the Middle Things


“It is not your responsibility to figure out what someone else is feeling and why. Let go of the illusion that ‘fixing’ their bad mood will make you feel better.” ~Sarah Crosby
Some years ago, I was talking to my husband on the phone. He sounded annoyed about something to do with his work, but I noticed an intense emotional reaction in myself. Immediately, my heart contracted and my stomach lurched. I could feel a runaway train of emotions activate within me.
My whole body was awash with nausea, and I felt so very uncomfortable.
This was a familiar and …

“You are not a drop in the ocean. You are the entire ocean in a drop.” —Rumi
The last days of the year felt like the right time to let go. I stood in my backyard with twenty-five years of journals—thick notebooks filled with prayers, confessions, and late-night spirals—ready to release them to the flames.
I wasn’t being dramatic. I was being deliberate. I stopped daily journaling several years ago.
For years, I’d used these journals as a kind of inner courtroom, constantly building a case against myself or others. Every page held evidence of failures, proof of my profoundly …

“Sometimes the person you love the most is the one who teaches you the hardest lesson about yourself.” ~Unknown
I once thought that being in a relationship meant sacrificing parts of myself for the sake of “love.”
I stayed when I should have left.
I forgave when I hadn’t healed.
I silenced myself when I needed to speak. I gave up my voice, my boundaries, and my sense of emotional safety. I stopped expressing my needs to avoid conflict. I minimized my feelings so I wouldn’t be “too much.” I slowly disconnected from the parts of me that felt confident, …

“Only say good words to your child. Even if it looks like they’re not listening, if you repeat those kind words a hundred or a thousand times, they will eventually become the child’s own thoughts.” ~My grandmother
When I think about my childhood, the first word that comes to mind is “night.”
The nights were always the hardest.
My father struggled with alcohol and sometimes turned that pain into violence at home.
As a kid, I felt like danger could appear at any time after the sun went down.
I was afraid to sleep deeply. I kept the light on …