Oubaitori
How to Feel Safe When Panic Feels Dangerous
“Anxiety isn’t you. It’s something moving through you. It can leave out of the same door it came in.” ~James Clear
Years ago, I had a panic attack while driving across a bridge, and I thought I might die that day.
Suddenly my heart started pounding. My breath became shallow and tight. My chest felt constricted, and a wave of dizziness washed over me.
I was driving sixty miles per hour, and there was nowhere to pull over. The bridge stretched for miles, suspended over open water, and I was alone in the car.
A terrifying thought shot through my …
The Sounds That Helped Calm my Mind
I recently had the opportunity to take an online Sound as Medicine workshop with Phyllicia Victoria through the Omega Institute, and what a beautiful experience it was.
As you may know from my previous emails, I’ve been moving through the hardest time in my adult life for the past eighteen months.
I’ve been back and forth across the country numerous times to support my father through brain cancer treatment. All the while, I’ve been homeschooling my oldest son, adapting to changes in my industry, and in recent months, coping with estrangement from one of the closest people in my life.…
How I Lost Myself in a Controlling Friendship and What I Know Now
“The most common form of despair is not being who you are.” ~Søren Kierkegaard
I didn’t lose her all at once.
I lost myself first—slowly, quietly, in the way that only happens when someone you trust makes you doubt everything you think and feel.
She was magnetic when I met her. Warm, intense, the kind of person who made you feel chosen just by giving you her attention. I felt lucky to be her friend. That feeling lasted just long enough to blur what came next.
It started with small things. A plan I made that somehow became her plan. …
How Being the Strong One in My Family Became a Trap
“The world breaks everyone, and afterward, many are strong at the broken places.” ~Ernest Hemingway
My grandmother had just died. My sister and I had come from the room where her body still lay, and we were standing in the elevator in silence when the doors slid closed. My sister looked at me and said, “Now you’re the last strong one in this family.”
It was comforting to hear her words. I felt proud. And then, almost immediately, something else. My stomach clenched. I just wanted to stop the elevator, run away, and never look back. My sister wasn’t …
Lessons from Slowing Down: What My Body Needed to Feel Better
“Take care of your body. It’s the only place you have to live.” ~Jim Rohn
I used to think tiredness was a personality trait.
I was the person who could work fourteen hours, sleep five, and do it again. I wore my exhaustion like armor. It proved I was serious. It proved I was dedicated. It proved I was worth something.
What it actually proved was that I was running my body into the ground.
The Surgeon Who Could Not Heal Herself
I trained as a surgeon in London. My days started before the sun came up. They ended …
How to Overcome Ultra-Independence and Receive Love and Support
“Ultra-independence is a coping mechanism we develop when we’ve learned it’s not safe to trust love or when we are terrified to lose ourselves in another. We aren’t meant to go it alone. We are wounded in relationship and we heal in relationship.” ~Rising Woman
Do you feel like you have to do everything on your own?
Is it difficult for you to ask for and receive help for fear of being let down?
Have you ever heard the expression “Ultra-independence may be a trauma response”?
If this is you, I get it; that was me too.
Please know there …
The Powerful Insight That Helped Me Worry Less and Sleep Again
“Surrender is not about giving up. It is about letting go of the illusion of control.” ~Judith Orloff
Watching my mother lose her memory while I was losing mine felt like a cruel preview of my future—until I learned that stress, not genetics, was writing my story.
It was 3:47 a.m.—again. I’d been awake since 2:13, and before that I’d slept maybe ten minutes.
This had been my pattern for years: wake up shortly after falling asleep, check the clock, lie there frustrated.
Wake again, check the clock, review the day prior, and plan the next day.
But this …
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 