If You Constantly Adjust Yourself
When “Nothing Is Wrong” Keeps You in the Wrong Life
“The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.” ~Carl Jung
I was twenty-eight years old, standing in front of a mirror, reaching for my lipstick.
I couldn’t put it on.
I was engaged. A wedding was ahead of me. The invitations, expectations, and imagined future were already gathering momentum.
Nothing was visibly wrong.
That was the problem.
As I looked at my reflection, I could not find myself inside the life I was preparing to enter.
There had been no betrayal, no dramatic confrontation, and no single moment I could point to and say, “There. That …
The Year I Tried to Optimize My Way into Love
“Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.” ~William Bruce Cameron
I noticed it halfway through the conversation.
We were outside a café on a warm Saturday, close enough to the next table that I could hear someone laughing behind me. The person across from me was telling a story about getting lost on a hike, because they had been certain they could manage without a map, and they were laughing at themselves as they told it. I laughed in the right place.
Then my attention slid. Sense of humor, strong. Conversation, easy. …
Why Rest Should Be a Priority, Not a Reward
“In an age of constant movement, nothing is so urgent as sitting still.” ~Pico Iyer, from his TED talk “The Art of Stillness”
It was a Tuesday in late September, the kind of afternoon that feels borrowed from summer. I had a work deadline at 5:00. I went to the park anyway.
I spread a blanket on the grass, unpacked a little cheese and some fruit, and poured tea from the thermos I’d filled mostly out of habit. I had a book in my bag that I never opened.
For two hours, I sat outside in the middle …
How “Doing Fine” Was Actually Holding Me Back
“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” ~Carl Rogers
For most of my life, the story looked like a straight line going up. I never hit bottom. This isn’t that kind of story.
And for a long time, that was exactly the problem.
From the outside, my life looked good. I had built things I was proud of and a family I love. If you knew me, you would have said I was doing well, and you would probably have been right.
So this isn’t a story about hitting bottom. …
