What Travels with You Is Intangible
How to Suffer Less When You’re Waiting for Answers
“Rule your mind or it will rule you.” ~Buddha
Some mornings I wake before dawn and lie still, listening for signs that the house is awake.
A cough down the hallway.
The sound of a drawer opening.
Water running softly in the kitchen sink.
My mother is ninety-seven years old now, and before my feet even touch the floor, part of me is already listening for proof that the world has not changed overnight.
When I hear movement, I exhale.
Only then do I reach for my phone.
I tell myself I’m just checking messages. But lately I’ve realized I …
What Was Really Behind My “Laziness” and What I Know Now
“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” ~Carl Rogers
I remember sitting on the living room floor one evening while my boys were playing nearby. One of them was trying to build something out of Legos and getting more and more frustrated every time it collapsed. I don’t even remember exactly what he said now, only the feeling I got watching him.
Because I suddenly recognized that frustration in myself.
Not just in that moment, but from most of my life.
That feeling of wanting to do something, sometimes
How I Reframed Letting Go So I Could Move on from My Painful Past
We are truly free when we let go of the thought that the past could or should have been any different than it was. This is so hard.
The challenge is born from our desperate need to validate our feelings and experiences. It often feels like we are invalidating ourselves if we let go of the thought that the past should have been different. We have been through hell, experienced things most people don’t know about, and it initially feels so devastating to think of just letting it go like it never happened. Where is the justice in that?
I …
Why Being Ignored Causes Such Deep Pain and Damage
“There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds.” ~Laurell K. Hamilton
My older sister had four years over me. As a kid, I worshipped the ground she walked on. She was so smart, so pretty, so cool. I wanted to be wherever she was, doing whatever she was doing.
I was desperate for any crumb of attention she might throw my way. I even let her loosen my baby teeth so she could pull them out one by one. In those moments she was lavishing me with attention.
Other …
How to Be More Present Through Sound, Silence, and Stillness
“Music gives color to the air of the moment.” ~Karl Lagerfeld
I used to think I was a good listener. I could hold eye contact, nod at the right moments, ask thoughtful follow-up questions. But one afternoon, sitting cross-legged on a yoga mat in a small studio in Rishikesh, I realized I had never truly listened to anything, not even myself.
The teacher asked us to close our eyes and simply notice the sounds around us. A ceiling fan turning slowly overhead. A dog barking somewhere down the street. My own breath, uneven and shallow. And then, beneath all of …
