Direction Is More Important Than Speed
How I Reframed Letting Go So I Could Move on from My Painful Past
We are truly free when we let go of the thought that the past could or should have been any different than it was. This is so hard.
The challenge is born from our desperate need to validate our feelings and experiences. It often feels like we are invalidating ourselves if we let go of the thought that the past should have been different. We have been through hell, experienced things most people don’t know about, and it initially feels so devastating to think of just letting it go like it never happened. Where is the justice in that?
I …
Why Being Ignored Causes Such Deep Pain and Damage
“There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds.” ~Laurell K. Hamilton
My older sister had four years over me. As a kid, I worshipped the ground she walked on. She was so smart, so pretty, so cool. I wanted to be wherever she was, doing whatever she was doing.
I was desperate for any crumb of attention she might throw my way. I even let her loosen my baby teeth so she could pull them out one by one. In those moments she was lavishing me with attention.
Other …
How to Be More Present Through Sound, Silence, and Stillness
“Music gives color to the air of the moment.” ~Karl Lagerfeld
I used to think I was a good listener. I could hold eye contact, nod at the right moments, ask thoughtful follow-up questions. But one afternoon, sitting cross-legged on a yoga mat in a small studio in Rishikesh, I realized I had never truly listened to anything, not even myself.
The teacher asked us to close our eyes and simply notice the sounds around us. A ceiling fan turning slowly overhead. A dog barking somewhere down the street. My own breath, uneven and shallow. And then, beneath all of …
The Hidden Survival Patterns I Mistook for Brokenness
“The wound is the place where the light enters you.” ~Rumi
I grew up in a council house in the 1970s, in a world where children were seen and not heard.
We were kicked out in the morning and told to come back when the streetlights came on. On the surface, it looked normal. But what was happening behind closed doors didn’t feel normal at all.
I didn’t have the words for it then, but I always felt different.
People thought I was shy. And I was. But it was more than that. Being around people felt overwhelming, like I …
