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Posts tagged with “perfect”

Doing Your Best Without the Stress of Perfectionism

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“Better to do something imperfectly than to do nothing flawlessly.” ~Robert H. Schuller

Have you ever been stopped in your tracks by perfectionism? Would you rather not do something if you can’t be sure it will be perfect? Although this kind of thinking doesn’t make much sense, I understand it, because I’ve been there.

I’d like to share with you some insights that helped me overcome my own deeply ingrained perfectionism and the unhappiness and stagnation it caused me.

Avoiding perfectionism doesn’t mean avoiding quality work and high achievement.

I am someone who loves making sure that even the …

Releasing Pressure and Expectations to Make Room for Life

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“For things to reveal themselves to us, we need to be ready to abandon our views about them.” ~Thích Nhat Hạnh

My husband and I bought our first house two years ago. Expecting a child and excited to move on to the next stage in our lives, we listed all of the ways we would make the house perfect.

As first-time homeowners and parents, we assumed this list was manageable. Surely the house could be painted in a weekend! Of course we can get work done while the baby naps!

Indeed, it seemed manageable and, therefore, (to me) mandatory.

To …

It’s a Great Day to Make a Mistake

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Why are we so terrified of making mistakes? Why are we killing our creativity and curiosity with our desire for efficiency and conformity?

Today is a great day to make a mistake—and here’s why that’s a good thing.

How to Stop Feeling Inadequate and Embrace Your Imperfect Self

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“The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.” ~Anna Quindlen

As I sit in bed typing this, all cozied up with a hot cup of tea and my fuzz ball Maestro relaxing at my feet, I feel happy and at ease.

I scan the room and see a couple of stacks of laundry that need to be put away. I recall that my daughter’s toys are still strewn across the house because I didn’t feel much like stopping to pick them up prior to my retreat …

How to Stop Stressing About Being Perfect (So You Can Enjoy Life)

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“The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.” ~Anna Quindlen

I finally learned I wasn’t Superman.

It was a hard concept for me to grasp. You see, I was always the good child. The one that did everything without complaint or supervision. I was the one who didn’t need help in school, who knew how to plan, who did the chores without having to be asked twice.

As I grew older this idea that I was “the good child/person” grew. My grades had to be perfect. …

Stop Aiming for Perfection: Can You Let Good Enough Be Good Enough?

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“Good enough is the new perfect.” ~Becky Beaupre Gillespie

The music started. Pachelbel’s Canon in D on harp and flute. I was supposed to enter the room near the end of the piece.

I knew there were fourteen sets of four measures each, but in my nervous state I quickly lost track. I picked a random moment in the music that I thought might be near the end (surely I’d been waiting forever already), opened the door, and walked in.

Then: BAM!

The door startled me by suddenly slamming shut behind me. Oops… That was not supposed to happen.

Thus …

Owning Our Stories: Overcoming The Fears That Make Us Play Small

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“I now see how owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we will ever do.” ~Brené Brown

It’s taken me a long time to figure out my story.

I kept thinking, “Nothing particularly dramatic has happened to me, so how can I have a story?”

Yet recently, after years of personal growth work, that’s shifted. I see the golden thread that weaves through my story and what that means for how I show up and what I bring to the world.

I now see that this whole thing about owning your story …

5 Tips to Accept Your Imperfections, No Matter How Different You Feel

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“I follow four dictates: face it, accept it, deal with it, then let it go.” ~Sheng Yen

Growing up different isn’t easy for anyone.

I was born normal, happy, and healthy. I had five fingers and five toes. I reached all my developmental milestones and showed promise as a vivacious, energetic child. It all changed when I was ten months old.

I became violently ill with bacterial meningitis. I battled the infection with a strength I was naturally graced with at birth. One week into my hospital stay, I was finally able to lift my head; two weeks later, I …

Things Will Never Be Perfect: Making Peace with Everyday Challenges

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“Serenity comes when you trade expectations for acceptance.” ~Unknown

A few weeks ago, I walked into my studio apartment and found it quite messy, which isn’t that hard to do with 325 square feet shared by a couple.

I’m talking clothes on the floor, dishes on the couch, and paper strewn everywhere. It had been one of those weeks where both my husband and I were ripping and running, having little to no time to manage household chores.

I looked around, took a deep breath, and sat down on the couch after moving some papers. I enjoyed some dinner with …

Be Happier with What Is by Letting Go of How Things Should Be

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“What you do today can improve all your tomorrows.” ~Ralph Marston

Have you ever been stuck and felt like you’re spiraling around the same space over and over? It’s just like Groundhog Day.

Every day, you have new intentions about how it will be different only to be left with the same hollow feelings at the end of the day.

You feel sadness for the dreams of what could have been and maybe even what should have been.

At forty-five I found myself unexpectedly in this place, stuck like my feet were almost tied to the ground. All the usual …

Why Accepting Your Imperfections Is a Gift to the World

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“The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.” ~Anna Quindlen

Being yourself seems like it would be an easy thing, right? Just be! But when you’re someone who has lived their life seeking the approval of others constantly, it’s not such an easy thing.

You have to attempt to move past years of trying to appear this way, wondering if people will judge you if do that, or doing your best not to cause waves and avoid conflict.

When you don’t fully understand who your “self” …

Stop Seeking and Start Finding: Create a Near-Perfect Life

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“What could I say to you that would be of value, except that perhaps you seek too much, that as a result of your seeking you cannot find.” ~Herman Hesse

I have a confession: I hate slowing down. When I finally let myself stop—being alone with my thoughts, vulnerable and open to the world—I become afraid.

I have another confession: There was a specific time in my life when went through a painful and scary situation. It broke me. And the only way I knew how to cope with my shattered self was to avoid my problems.

Simply put: …

The One Thing You Need to Know to Overcome Perfectionism

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 “You’re imperfect and you’re wired for struggle but you are worthy of love and belonging.” ~Brene Brown

There’s nothing perfect about me, and I’m okay with that… now. This wasn’t the case for most of my life, though. In fact, I’ve been a perfectionist for almost thirty years. I’m not counting the first five years of my life when I was free to be as messy and magical as I wanted.

In third grade I asked my mom to buy me a stack of lined notebooks and colored pens. I spent hours neatly labeling each notebook by class, date, and …

Imperfection Is Lovable and You Are Enough

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“You’re imperfect, and you’re wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging.” ~Brene Brown

We are all perfectly imperfect just as we are.

Yes, it’s true. Sometimes hard to believe, but always the truth. Believe me.

I’ve always recognized that I am a perfectionist.

I was the little girl who wanted to know how to play the piano at my first lesson, how to roller blade the first time I tried, how to do the splits at my first gymnastics class.

I’ve always wanted to do it right the first time.

On the one hand, I appreciate …

Scared to Try: Moving Beyond the Paralysis of Perfectionism

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“Fear is inevitable, I have to accept that, but I cannot allow it to paralyze me.” ~Isabel Allende

I am a recovering perfectionist.

Up until now, this is the only way I’ve known how to live. The thrilling burn of perfection invaded every aspect of my life to the point that I became paralyzed by fear. If I couldn’t do it right, I didn’t want to do it at all.

When I was younger, I allowed the desire for perfection to control all of my actions. In music, if I couldn’t sit first chair, I didn’t want to play …

7 Tips to Challenge Perfectionism: Enjoy More and Worry Less

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“Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor.” ~Anne Lamott

I originally planned to write this post a month ago. The topic was interesting, and it was one that I was sure most people could relate to. I mean, who hasn’t wrestled with the issue of perfectionism at some point?

One after another, notions and examples of perfectionism flowed steadily from my mind onto my notepad. And when I ran those ideas by a few friends, each of them shared their own stories about how the need to be perfect at something had negatively affected their lives.

Simply put, there was …

Start Building Confidence in Yourself Without Trying to Be Perfect

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“The outer conditions of a person’s life will always be found to reflect their inner beliefs.” ~James Allen

I know now that I don’t have to be perfect. I don’t even have to try to be perfect. I used to think that things did not come to me because I did not try hard enough. Not true!

The truth was, I was sabotaging myself.

In college in Switzerland, instead of going to that school event or even answering the people who tried to talk to me, I shut myself down and ignored people.

I was afraid of being rejected …

3 Tips to Escape the Perfectionism Trap and Feel Good Enough

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“I have done my best. That is all the philosophy of living one needs.” ~Lin-yutang

Perfectionism—the word brings to mind images of order and organization, of effectiveness and efficiency. This is what society expects from a “perfectionist,” and this is what is projected as desirable and attainable. There is an aspirational value to being a “perfectionist.”

Many people believe that perfectionistic tendencies motivate people to do their best and achieve their goals.

However, I can vouch for the fact that it actually feels like being caught in a trap. There is a feeling of suffocation and dread at not being …

Does Your Day Start Out Perfect and Then Fall Apart?

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“He is able who thinks he is able.” ~Buddha

I really needed to finish up a task. I’d already spent five more days than the one I’d estimated it would take. My boss was getting edgy; my co-workers were looking at me funny.

Every day I’d come in, have my plan-of-attack all thought out. It should have progressed well—quickly even. And then something would happen.

One day, the computer hardware I was using for months suddenly stopped and wouldn’t turn on. (Motherboard bad—two days.)

Another day, the software I installed, which runs flawlessly on several other systems, randomly crashed with …

Loving Your Whole Body, Even the Jiggly Parts

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“When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.” ~Miguel Ruiz

When I was in fifth grade, the boy who shared the desk next to me said that I had a “roller coaster nose.”

At that age when things were starting to sprout from places I didn’t know things could sprout, and everyone’s watching each other develop under the microscope of pre-pubescent angst, that little comment sent me into a 10-year-old tailspin.

I would spend hours examining my nose from every angle in the mirror, only to affirm that indeed …