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Posts tagged with “social media”

The Gift of Self-Acceptance: Goodbye Filters, Hello Authentic Self

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“Beauty doesn’t come from physical perfection. It comes from the light in our eyes, the spark in our hearts, and the radiance we exude when we’re comfortable enough in our skin to focus less on how we look and more on how we love.” ~Lori Deschene

Swiping though the various filters available, I saw my face go from mine to someone else’s—to someone with better skin, bigger eyes… Oooh look, I think this one makes my face look slimmer. Hello, cheekbones!

As someone who hated having her picture taken and was utterly convinced that she looked beyond awful in …

When Positive Messages Feel Bad: Why I’m Changing How I Use Social Media

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“How wonderful that we have met with a paradox. Now we have some hope of making progress.” ~Niels Bohr

Social media is indeed a paradox in that it has the power to be both good and evil simultaneously. Ironically, one of the most harmful things about social media is the abundance of “positive” messages.

You’re probably wondering how something that creates so much comparison, self-doubt, and anxiety can be “too positive.” What I mean is that social media messaging is starting to put a lot of pressure on us to be grateful and optimistic about our life no matter what …

4 Ways to Overcome Alienation and Loneliness

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“What should young people do with their lives today? Many things, obviously. But the most daring thing is to create stable communities in which the terrible disease of loneliness can be cured.” ~Kurt Vonnegut

Have you ever felt like a stranger in your own life? Watching other people like you were separated by some invisible wall?

Most of us have felt it from time to time and understand all too well how detrimental loneliness can be if it doesn’t go away. In fact, research has shown that loneliness is worse than smoking or obesity to a person’s health.

Yet we …

How to Enjoy Social Media and Stop Comparing Your Life to Others

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“You never know what someone is going through. Be kind, always.” ~Unknown

A few months back I was at the park and passed a family taking what looked like holiday photos.

The mom’s hair was perfectly coifed, dad was nicely shaven and looking quite dapper, and four kids stood smiling between them—all wearing matching khaki and surprisingly clean white shirts.

I watched the khaki family out of the corner of my eye as I pushed a stroller along the gravel trail, thinking of what their holiday post might say as my baby yodeled her displeasure at facing the sun.

“Kayden …

Our Odd Culture of Over-Sharing and the Quest to Be Relevant

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“Be yourself. Life is precious as it is. All the elements for your happiness are already here. There is no need to run, strive, search, or struggle. Just be.” ~ Thich Nhat Hanh

We show off our best moments—another sunshine shot from the beach, big smiles, cocktails and all. We try to be controversial. We ride the wave of the latest trend, showing we’re ‘on point’ and ‘in the know.’ We follow in the slipstream of something clever or enlightened someone else has said, rewording a little as if it’s now ours to own.

We hit send. We repeat.

As …

The Invisible Effects of Social Media: When It’s Time to Stop Scrolling

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“What you do today is important because you are exchanging a day of your life for it.” ~Unknown

Is there a more precious commodity than time? It’s the currency of life; the most basic finite resource, and we have a responsibility to spend it wisely. It’s up to us each individually to figure out what that means to us. For me, that means being mindful of the people, activities, and thoughts to which I give my time and energy.

I am an obsessive reader, and at any one time I have at least fifteen books checked out of the …

How Going Offline for 10 Days Healed My Anxiety

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“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a while, including you.” ~Anne Lamott

I wake up anxious a little past 4am. My heart is beating faster than usual, and I’m aware of an unsettled feeling, like life-crushing doom is imminent. For a moment, I wonder if I just felt the first waves of a massive earthquake. Or perhaps those were gunshots I just heard in the distance.

But no, it’s just another night in my bedroom in the Bay Area, and everything is utterly fine. But somehow, my central nervous system isn’t so sure.

The problem is …

How Social Media Is Helping Me Cope with Grief

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“Grief, no matter where it comes from, can only be resolved by connecting to other people.” ~Thomas Horn

We had just landed in Chicago. I had spent the last three hours on a flight from New Jersey sitting next to grown-ups who didn’t ask me fifty questions every two minutes, while my kids watched a movie with their dad, two rows behind.

I was looking forward to spending one whole week in Chicago, despite the freezing temps. This was my first real break in eight months, and boy, I had plans! Sleeping in, long baths, reading, and no laptop!

I …

Why Social Media and My Addictive Personality Don’t Mesh

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Twitter didn’t give me the flu or bronchitis, but it made me sick. Unhealthy. Ill-feeling. And it could have been any social media platform that did it, I just happened to have chosen Twitter.

For years I avoided creating any sort of social media account. I complained to companies the old-fashioned way: calling or emailing customer service. I didn’t need to know what people I wasn’t in touch with in real life were doing.

As someone who was married and not dating, there simply wasn’t the requirement to be on any kind of social media. With two kids, I spent …

Why We All Need Time Unplugged

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“Life is what happens while we’re busy worrying about everything we need to change or accomplish. Slow down, get mindful, and try to enjoy the moment. This moment is your life.” ~Lori Deschene

Technology is everywhere today, integrated into our lives from the moment we wake up and check our email to the twenty minutes we spend checking our Twitter feed before falling asleep.

From smartphones and tablets to Fitbits and multi-display work computers, it’s hard to use technology mindfully, and most of us spend a great deal of time throughout the day looking at screens.

Choosing to unplug, …

9 Mindful Social Media Practices That Will Make You a Happier Person

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“The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.” ~Steve Furtick

Social media is not a full (or even sometimes real) portrayal of someone’s life. If you forget this, you fall into the trap of comparing your life to what someone else chooses to share.

This is dangerous.

Comparing can lead to feelings of inadequacy, envy, and even hatred toward others. These kinds of feelings, if left un-dealt with, can lead to stress, anxiety, and depression. Or, if you are a person who already struggles with anxiety or depression, having these kinds …

Is Your Life Really as Perfect as It Looks on Facebook?

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“Most men would rather deny a hard truth than face it.” ~George R.R. Martin, A Game of Thrones

So would most women.

This is the way we have encountered life so far. Better to show the world just the socially acceptable and shove the rest under the rug. That’s where the hard truths go.

But we all know the trouble with the rug. Stuff builds up under the rug and eventually you land on your face. Hard truths don’t go away.

Social media is exacerbating the historical tendency to present only the pretty, so we’re justifiably, and understandably, really scared …

7 Tips to Help You Scale Back on Social Media & Reclaim Your Time

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“Time is the most valuable thing a man can spend.” ~Theophrastus

We’ve all been there.

We’re supposed to write a paper, send an email, do our job!

We have deadlines, places to see, people to meet, and yet we find ourselves (for the umpteenth time) perusing our Facebook timeline, scrolling our Instagram feed, or catching up on Twitter updates.

Whether it’s YouTube, Facebook, or Twitter, we are all experts at self-distraction, and we wonder where all that time goes!

It’s actually getting a bit scary. Social media addiction is a real thing, and research from the University of Maryland shows …

Using Social Media for Growth and Minimizing Its Negative Effects

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“Social media should improve your life, not become your life.” ~Patrick Driessen

The summer after college, my best friend and I had many a girls’-night-in, largely to accommodate her new life as a single mother.

These nights consisted of drinking wine and Facebook stalking anyone and everyone who went to our high school.

One night we went as far as creating a false page representing a popular local bar so that we could peer into the lives of anyone our hearts desired without revealing ourselves as grade-A cyber stalkers.

We spent a lot of our downtime that summer focusing on …

Why Being Real Matters More Than Being the Best

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“We have to dare to be ourselves, however frightening or strange that self may prove to be.” ~May Sarton

Have you ever compared yourself to others on social media?

You’re not alone if you have. It’s human nature to compare, compete, and seek value in the opinions of others. To aspire to the heights others seem to have attained.

But how real are those people we compare ourselves to really being? The ones who seem to have it all together? Perfect family, ideal job, loving relationship?

I would venture to guess they’re not being very real at all.…

Why We Compare Ourselves to Others on Social Media and How to Stop

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“The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.” ~Steve Furtick

We all have certain triggers that can cause our confidence to take a sudden nosedive.

For some, it’s a trip to the gym. If you’re self-conscious of your body, watching fit people strut their stuff in their tightest fitting gym clothes likely has you over analyzing your every body part.

For others, it may be a certain individual—a family member, friend, or enemy that, for whatever reason, leaves them with the dreaded feeling that they just aren’t enough.

We all …

Can We Auto-Correct Humanity?

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Such an important message. From the YouTube page: You need not delete your social networks or destroy your cell phones. The message is simple: be balanced, be mindful, be present, be here. 🙂

Compassionate Posting: Minimizing Social Media Comparisons

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“We must each lead a way of life with self-awareness and compassion, to do as much as we can. Then, whatever happens we will have no regrets.” ~Dalai Lama

If you’re anything like me, you may have a love-hate relationship with social networking.

There are so many cool facets to social networking sites, such as Facebook, but I am finding that the relative ease of information sharing with the masses and portable nature of technology bring their own set of challenges. Not a bad thing, per-se, but perhaps an invitation to practice even greater mindfulness and compassion.

Consider the title

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Mindful Technology: Simplify Email & Reduce Inbox Stress

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Up until recently, I received communication online in ten different places.

In addition to getting messages through Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and StumbleUpon, I got emails through six different email accounts. I have not always managed this ever-flowing stream of information in the most mindful and productive way.

Studies show that we actually get a little endorphin rush when something new pops up in the inbox. It’s almost as if an email, direct message, or blog comment confirms that we’re important—that someone somewhere values us and needs our attention, expertise, or approval.

I’ll admit it: I enjoy seeing there’s a new …