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Posts tagged with “wisdom”

Why Self-Help Might Not Help, and What Will (Interview & Book Giveaway)

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Update: The winners for this giveaway have been chosen. They are:

When I first found what looked like a self-help book called The End of Self-Help, I thought it was a tad ironic. And I wondered if perhaps the author was suggesting that self-help is inherently harmful.

As someone who’s bounced back from overwhelming adversity using some very powerful self-help tools, this didn’t quite sit right with me.

Then I decided to stop wondering what this book was all about and instead find out by reading it. I couldn’t be …

Forget “Should” and Live the Life You Want to Live

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“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

There was a time when I “had it all.”

I was in my tenth year of teaching in a small, rural school. I lived with my husband and daughter in a four-bedroom house in a subdivision in the woods. Life was routine, predictable, and secure. We made plans to fix up the house and figured that I would likely work in my job until retirement.

However, two things got in the way of those plans.

First, I felt …

The Key to Creating More Joy in Your Work

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“Life engenders life. Energy creates energy. It is by spending oneself that one becomes rich.” ~Sarah Bernhardt                      

Ten years ago, when I first moved to China, I came as an English teacher at a university. I hadn’t the faintest clue as to how I would teach and I only had one year of experience as a teaching assistant in graduate school.

At the beginning, I was completely out of my element. In fact, I woke up the following morning after arrival in my new apartment only to realize that I had no food, couldn’t say anything in Chinese, and had …

It’s Not Too Late for a New Beginning

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How Accepting Anxiety Can Lead to Peace

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“People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

My unwillingness to accept my anxiety disorder (there, I said it, I have a disorder) results in panic.

It results in waking up at night, heart racing, body tingling and trembling.

It results in driving down the road in a thunderstorm thinking I am having a heart attack—but I just keep driving and talking to my beloved on the phone because “if I can just keep driving away from it, it will be okay.”…

Your Biggest Fear Carries Your Greatest Opportunity for Growth

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“Your largest fear carries your greatest growth.” ~Unknown

I was twenty when I met him. A naive apprentice of love, I plunged into romance with no fear and I was left speechless.

It was all so new and thrilling, all I had ever dreamed about and more. It’s hard to describe how strong our bond grew in such a short time. We knew we had met our perfect match; we knew we would spend the rest of our lives together.

But one day it all suddenly became too good to be true: he confessed he had cheated on me.

My …

Why Rejection IS Sometimes Personal (but Not About Your Worth)

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“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt

It’s not about you. It’s about them. It’s their loss. Don’t take it personally. It doesn’t mean anything.

Well-intentioned people have told me these things many times to soften the blow of rejection. And I wanted so badly to believe them, but how could I?

When someone doesn’t want you, it’s hard not to take it personally. They don’t want you. It must mean something about you, right?

When five college theater programs rejected me, when guy after guy ditched me, when countless potential friends avoided me, …

19 Simple Daily Habits for a Happier Life

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“Hug harder. Laugh louder. Smile bigger. Love longer.” ~Unknown

Did you ever have it all mixed up?

Happiness, I mean. I once thought that a university degree and good grades would make me happy. I thought that traveling the world would leave me feeling fulfilled. I thought that moving abroad and getting that top-notch job would make me satisfied and content.

They all did, but only for a while. They always came with an expiration date.

Finally, I had to stop and ask myself, “If I’m not able to be truly happy now, will I ever be?” If I couldn’t …

The Simplest Way to Create More Calm in Your Life

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“I vow to let go of all worries and anxiety in order to be light and free.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

This particular week, I flunked. I’d be lucky if you gave me a D grade in assessing my calmness.

Generally, nobody can question my commitment to leading a life of less stress. I try hard. I try very hard.

You might even be impressed with my healthy diet, my abundance of sleep, and my regular exercise. You couldn’t fault the careful thought and planning that go into my days and weeks. Hell, I can even claim meditation, mindfulness, and …

Microadventures: Get Away and Have Fun Without Traveling Far

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“One way to get the most out of life is to look upon it as an adventure.” ~William Feather

I live for exploring the world, trying new things, and meeting passionate people. As a filmmaker I’m very fortunate to be able to do all these things from time to time, and I just love it!

However, this is only a small part of my work. I also often find myself stuck in front of a computer for weeks at a time editing—no nature, no people, no exploring. Just me and a computer.

It’s easy to get bogged down by all …

Why Hard Work Might Not Pay Off (and What Will)

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“Man is only truly great when he acts from his passions.” ~Benjamin Disraeli

At a young age I was told, “Without hard work nothing grows but weeds.”

I was also told, “With hard work it was possible to achieve the American Dream.”

I was not sure what the American Dream was, but I did what everyone around me seemed to be doing. Working hard. I did well in school, helped my mother at home and my father at his place of business.

The world looked incredible to me growing up, and I was so passionate about waking up every …

Show Up for Yourself and Believe in Your Dream

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“As you start to walk on the way, the way appears.” ~Rumi

My early life was challenging, to say the least. I grew up in a difficult home situation, which I hoped to escape through an early marriage. That marriage produced four beautiful children by the time I was twenty-one years old.

We were very poor and I hoped to get us out of poverty, but I wasn’t sure it was possible.

I’d been poor all my life. I didn’t really know what it was like to have abundance. I thought success was for “other people.” My only education was …

Change Is…

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3 Things That Can Help You Bounce Back from Failure

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“If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn’t sit for a month.” ~Theodore Roosevelt

The year was 2011 and I had been working as customer relations officer in a private healthcare firm for three years. It was as boring as it sounds, and I had been planning my escape toward self-employment for around a year by working in the evenings as a personal trainer.

I imagined that on the final day I’d exit the office for the last time in a blaze of happiness and jubilation, thrilled that I’d finally taken …

How to Stop Letting Other People’s Opinions Guide Your Life

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“What other people think of me is none of my business.” ~Wayne Dyer

Do you feel it too?

That discomfort rising inside when someone imparts their clever wit on you. Not just any kind of wisdom, but the one that makes you feel small, in a here-you-go, punch-to-the-stomach kind of way.

A covert little criticism implying that you might not be doing something right or may have the wrong ideas.

Your first reaction is disbelief. Followed by denial. How can they be so rude to come out with such a comment? Why can’t they be more tactful or careful with …

How We Create Problems for Ourselves (And How to Stop)

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“If you think you’re enlightened, go spend a week with your family.” ~Ram Dass

I just returned from a four-day trip with my family. It was my own family of four (my husband and two kids), plus my mom, my two sisters, and my brother-in-law.

It was great. We get along well and have fun together.

And, it was four days with family.

It’s a funny thing…although you grow up with your siblings, listening to and being influenced by your parents, you all end up so unique—different from each other and different from the adults who raised you.…

5 Lessons on Living Life Fully from a Breast Cancer Survivor

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“We all have two lives. The second one begins when we realize we only have one.” ~Confucius

When I was diagnosed with stage 2 breast cancer in September 2014 I tried to spin this life curveball on its ugly head and find some lessons from this journey.

That’s how I dealt with the blow.

The truth is, I didn’t want people to feel sorry for me. I never wanted to be a victim.

I wanted to be a survivor from day dot.

Throughout this process I learned five powerful lessons that I’d like to share with you so that you …

I Like Messy People

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Should You Sacrifice Financial Stability to Pursue Your Dream?

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“If a person gets his attitude towards money straight, then it will help strengthen out almost every other area in his life.” ~Billy Graham

To pursue financial security or your dream …

You’re in conflict, right?

I know because I’ve been there myself.

People often tell us that money isn’t everything, so we assume we can sacrifice money to pursue our dreams. Somehow it will work out. At least that’s what I thought.

What do you think about money? Is it everything or not?

I quit my job when I got married. My husband was a pastor …

It’s Not All About Money: 5 Ways to Redefine Success

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“Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.” ~Maya Angelou

When I was thirty I was earning double the salary I am today. I was also stressed, depressed, sick, tired, and hated my job.

Most media portals want us to believe that in order to be successful we must own a large property, have vacations in exotic destinations, drive a flashy car, and be designer-dressed from head to toe. And that’s just for starters.

We are bombarded with these falsehoods from an early age and we set out on a mission to acquire the …