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Posts tagged with “wisdom”

How a Numb, Phony Zombie Started Singing Her Own Song

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“Alas for those that never sing, but die with all their music in them!” ~Oliver Wendell Holmes

Six years ago, I came across a line from an old poem that punctured my present moment so profoundly it seemed to stop time.

On an average Tuesday, there I was, sitting at my desk, ignoring the stack of papers I was responsible for inputting into a spreadsheet and procrastinating as usual on the Internet instead.

At this particular time, Pinterest was my drug of choice—anyone else?

As I was aimlessly scrolling through wacky theme party ideas and spicy margarita recipes, suddenly, here …

You Are Going to Be Fine

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I Admire People Who Could Have Turned Cold but Still Chose Love Anyway

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Where Our Strength Comes from and What It Means to Be Strong

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“Strength doesn’t come from what you can do. It comes from overcoming the things you thought you couldn’t.” ~Rikki Rogers

A friend recently asked me: Andi, where does your strength come from?

It took me a while before I had a good enough answer for her. I sat contemplating the many roads I’ve traveled, through my own transformational journey and the inspirational journeys of all my clients who demonstrate incredible strength for me.

I moved to a different country, alone, at eighteen years old and have changed careers, battled a complex pain diagnosis with my child, and lost loved ones…

You’re Allowed to Decide to Change Who You Are

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10 Things to Do When You Feel Sad, Hopeless, and Defeated

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“Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.” ~J.K. Rowling

I’m no stranger to feeling hopeless and defeated. After many failed relationships, physical, sexual and emotional abuse my entire life, two bankruptcies, and the recent loss of my online business (October 2020), you could say I’ve been through enough to last two lifetimes.

I’ll admit, there were many times I wanted it all to end. There were many days I just didn’t know how much more I could handle. My recent loss has devastated me beyond words. Everything I’ve worked so hard for in the last …

Say It with Me: I Don’t Have to Apologize For…

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How I Overcame the Stress of Perfectionism by Learning to Play Again

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“What, then, is the right way of living? Life must be lived as play…” ~Plato

I am a recovering perfectionist, and learning to play again saved me.

Like many children, I remember playing a lot when I was younger and being filled with a sense of openness, curiosity, and joy toward life.

I was fortunate to grow up in Oregon with a large extended family with a lot of cousins with whom I got to play regularly. We spent hours, playing hide-and-seek, climbing trees, drawing, and building forts.

I also attended a wonderful public school that encouraged play. We …

Friends That Understand Your Antisocial Phases

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You Deserve Someone Who Treats You Like You Matter Every Day

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When You Lose a Loved One to Suicide: Healing from the Guilt and Trauma

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“You will survive, and you will find purpose in the chaos. Moving on doesn’t mean letting go.” ~Mary VanHaute

I was ten years old when I discovered the truth. He didn’t fall. He wasn’t pushed. It wasn’t an accident.

He jumped.

Suicide isn’t a concept easily explained to a six-year-old, much less her younger siblings, so I grew up believing that my father’s drowning was an unfortunate freak accident. It was “just one of those things,” the cruel way of the world, and there was nothing anyone could have done about it.

This explanation more than satisfied me and, other …

Shoutout to the People Who Haven’t Felt Okay Lately

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You Look in the Mirror and Sometimes See a Mess of a Human Being

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The 6 Personalities of People-Pleasing and How I Overcame Them

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“The truth is, you’re never going to be able to please everybody, so stop trying. Remember, the sun is going to continue shining even if some people get annoyed by its light shining in their eyes. You have full permission to shine on.” ~Unknown

I used to be a rebel. I was the girl at the party who would waltz into a room and have everyone in awe, their attention and curiosity caught by my presence. I felt it, they felt it, it was magnetic. I loved it—I had become the girl I wanted to be.

That was until one …

Don’t Live Your Life Impressing Others

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How I Found My Place in the World When I Felt Beaten Down by Life

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“Some people are going to reject you simply because you shine too bright for them. That’s okay. Keep shining.” ~Mandy Hale

After I finished school, I was excited about moving forward with life.

I thought about the career that I hoped to have, where I hoped to live, and the things that I wanted to accomplish.

After starting off as a secondary high school English teacher and becoming disappointed with the ongoing changes in the public school system, I went to graduate school for law. I thought it would open up a lot of possibilities, but it did not.

I …

How I Stopped Dismissing Praise and Started Believing Compliments

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“I’ve met people who are embattled and dismissive, but when you get to know them, you find that they’re vulnerable—that hauteur or standoffishness is because they’re pedaling furiously underneath.” ~Matthew Macfadyen

It was impossible to miss the dismissive hand gesture and distasteful look on her face in response to my comment.

“You ooze empathy,” I had said in all sincerity to my therapist.

“And what’s it like if I blow off or disregard that compliment?” she countered. Then, as usual, she waited.

“Ah, it feels terrible,” I sputtered as the lights of insight began to flicker. I was acutely …

The Signs of a Strong Friendship (and an Unhealthy One)

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“Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.” ~Oprah Winfrey

“How on earth am I supposed to survive? I have no friends whatsoever!”

These were the thoughts that ran through my mind then when I first set foot in London five years ago. I felt raw and vulnerable in the beautiful new city that I had to make my new home, alone, with my two kids, while my husband was overseas. I wondered how I was supposed to do …

I Won’t Let Anyone Walk Through My Mind with Their Dirty Feet

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My Attraction Experiment: Why I Created a Dating Profile with No Pics

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“Being attracted to someone’s way of thinking is a whole different level of attraction.” ~Unknown

I have been divorced for ten years now and thought it would be fairly easy to find “the one” once I was set free from the ties of the wrong one. To my surprise, it has been harder than I thought it would be. I have found many but not “the one.”

I have been on Match, Bumble, Plenty of Fish, and blind dates, and even dated a longtime friend to only find myself single going into my fiftieth year on this planet. It …