Hey there!
(forgive my English ^^)

I am currently going thru a break up and unlike you, it has been almost a year now since that relationship ended.
Like you, she also moved on with someone else (rather quickly) after and i too had the misfortune of finding out by a common friend. Also, knowing who that person i got replaced with was, the feelings were unbearable. The past few months taught me a great deal about myself and also gave me a bit more perspective on this whole relationship.

Moving on can be a bit tricky. I do agree with you that it can be draining sometimes, having and going thru all these thoughts and memories of you and her. It’s as if your mind takes control and makes you relieve what happened and projects scenarios on what could’ve been and this in return creates unwanted emotions and yeah it is painful sometimes to be honest.

I’ll have those days where i feel like i am taking a step backward insted of forward just like i’ll have those days where i’ll feel like i have a sense of control on my mind and emotions and i can move on.

Also, i realized it’s not about how long you’ve been trying to move on or even how long it should take, but more about the process in question. It’s been a year yes but i am in a better place now than i was a few months ago but i still have those moments like the one you have now.

I don’t know about your situation or the whole story to give a more specific reply but in my case, it gave me the need to reflect on my life (for the better and worse). For example, one “good” thing that came out of this breakup is that i don’t have to spend (or waste) as much time and energy as i used to do on her. Sadly, it also made me realise that i have approval and self esteem issues to work on.

The mind can play many scenarios and memories on us and can often make this whole process very complicated. But tell me, is there a reason you think on why you keep having those specific words and images come up in your head? what meaning do you give them? Or are you giving them too much meaning maybe?

Like you said, it’s one of those days and its ok!
And i do relate to it (mostly because i am having them to these days too ^^)

• This reply was modified 8 years, 5 months ago by Krixter85.
• This reply was modified 8 years, 5 months ago by Krixter85.

Often times when you’re left out of a relationship you wonder about your existence. Like, what am I without her/him? Especially if you put a lot of work, faith and hope in the relationship. I find that this is the perfect time to evaluate yourself. You’re feeling pain, vulnerability and weakness now. How can you improve on yourself to make these things have less control over you? How can you give yourself a little boost? This is a perfect time for change. You mentioned that you work at the same place. Have you thought about finding another job? It’s a little distraction that I think would be good for your mind. If not that, how about a vacation? Take a week off and run away for a little bit? Maybe do something you always wanted to do but never had the chance? Move to another place? You get the point. I always work on myself when I find myself in similar situation. Feeling like i’m improving myself, moving forward to something, accomplishing something is a way to battle this sense of worthlessness that you typically go through in a situation like this.

hey brav i feel your pain . it will fade away with time m sure .stay strong bro. shit happens .forgive her and forget her be better human being .thats the only right thing you should do. yes its gonna be difficult but not impossible.

One thing I read when I was going through that post break up with the first person I ever truly loved (he obviously didn’t feel the same lol) was that when a person breaks up with you it is not a spur of the moment thing, they have already been processing it for a while, getting use to the idea of you not being in there life and trying it out for size in their head and by the time they get to actually breaking up with you they are already quite a way down the post break up path.

The person being broken up with has to play catch up.