Thank you both.

I am in deep distress and being conscious is torture right now. I don’t know where to put myself. I wish I had someone in my life to help me along the way. I wish I could talk to my family but every conversation has to be neutral and they don’t understand despair or circumstances.

I don’t even feel capable of contributing anything via writing or drawing.

I don’t know what to do.

If only I had that one lifeline growing up. I would have made better decisions.

I couldn’t make proper decisions because I never had control over anything.

I am sorry, I can not feel better.

I have never completely understood the rich person who stays alone until now. Should this person go out and demonstrate and protest those who take up all the friendships and admirers that can accumulate? Should they protest their greed and their opression of others receiving admiration or friendships?

I never cared about money but I wish I had a lot of it right now because at least it would protect me from people. I could live somewhere where I wouldn’t have to see anyone and spend time with nature.

I don’t have money so I am trying to think of a way to be cordial but not engaged. That is even difficult because they always find a way to insult me and engage me. I want to think of people like I think of the rain. It’s just there but not engage with it. I am trying to avoid them in the rooms and be indifferent. I feel like they feel cheated if they can not hurt my feelings and if I do not want to engage with them they will engage with me and when I did want to engage with them they ignored me.

As a poor person how do I can I pretend I am alone? I have to pretend because I do not want to engage with people anymore.

This forum is not engaging. It is a source of information for me and for your sake I will say I appreciate it.

Thank you

• This reply was modified 4 years, 7 months ago by Lisa.

No Anita, I am saying that I am being selfish and need information. I do not see the sharing of information as engaging. If someone needed my help I would properly inform them even though I am trying to avoid interacting with people. I do not have a problem with valuable information being exchanged. If I could avoid being a human being I would. I have no other choice but to interact. Despite my not wanting to connect I say I appreciate your input because it is the polite thing to do.

• This reply was modified 4 years, 7 months ago by Lisa.
• This reply was modified 4 years, 7 months ago by Lisa.

My politeness keeps attacks at bay and complete separation from any relationship that has to be according to unthinking people. So even though I remain alone I do not have to the full scale of attacks from bullies.

Saying what I think warrants an attack.

• This reply was modified 4 years, 7 months ago by Lisa.
• This reply was modified 4 years, 7 months ago by Lisa.

Anita,

I was not referring to you at all but if you are seeking an outlet I understand.

I am again put into a position where they use emotional blackmail and when they get what they want act like it wasn’t a big deal and do not put others in that same position.

I am passive agressively criticized by some for what I was forced into who do not understand the pressure I was under.

I am passive aggressively attacked by others who are not in my position.

People who I thought were my friends play me because of my willingness to please them and concern for them.

When I call out the selfishness of others on twitter I am brutally mocked for my age and that I am just jealous of women who only care about themselves on twitter.

I wasn’t all that hurt by strangers on twitter. I’m used to being knocked by ignorant people.

When I was a child I was curious and bright and I look back and wonder why I was so dismissed and bullied.

I hear others get praise yet no one thinks I am strong for what I go through and if the group all believe the same thing I am alone.