So I’m asking this question because I remembered how deeply homophobic the world still is, and it made me remember that there are parts of the world where I can be legally killed just for being myself. But then I thought about how the beliefs that most of the countries that allow this stuff to happen are very deeply entrenched, and that there’s no way that their minds are going to eb changed just like that. I realise that none of these things are directly affecting me and so it is best not to worry about them, but I would love to visit Africa one day but I’m afraid to because of the legal right people have to, for lack of a better phrase, treat me like shit. Anyway, luckily, I’ve not encountered that much homophobia (I mean there was the situation with my Dad, but it’s not like I was sent to conversion therapy or anything, I’m going to get to my parents in a moment)  since I’ve come out, but there are still a lot of people who would drop everything they’re doing to pray the gay out of their kids or throw them out on the street until their “affliction” is gone, and I feel like I’m going to run into these people eventually. I find it’s very easy to call these people stupid, but if there’s one thing I’ve learned from this site, it’s that you should look at things objectively. However, when someone says something like “gay people are worse than pedophiles” should you really waste time examining stuff like that? I just feel like people who go around saying things like that really don’t have much to offer the world except hatred and dissension.

So a few days ago my moving out plans were halted by a good 4 months because my Dad decided to step in and say he’d prefer if I stay at home until I’m 18 (in 4 months time, I’m also getting £14,000 awarded to me because of negligence on the part of a hospital) and I was only told this when I had gotten home from a supported housing office (I’m not sure what that would be called in America, but I hope you get the gist of what “supported housing” is.) Now, while it is far, FAR easier to get into supported housing when you’re 18, it can be done from the age of 16, but both you and your parents have to give congruent stories. It was actualy my Mum who bought this idea to me, and yet didn’t mention me having to talk about my living situation at some point. This kind of disappointed me because I don’t  feel like I can finally take control of my life until my parents are out of the picture. I’ve still been looking at reasons why I should and shouldn’t keep a relationship with my parents, and I’ve noticed for every good thing that they’ve done (allowing me to do extra curricular activites, my Dad getting me the £14,000 I mentioned earlier, which now makes me feel like I HAVE to keep a relationship with him because of that) the bad things they’ve done often outweigh the good things (my Mum doing absolutely nothing while my Dad said he’d kill me if I ever said I was gay again, happily agreeing with his proposal that I should be put in foster care because he couldn’t deal with having another “disappoinment”, whenever I’d come to them for advice, my Dad would give me some “back in my day, suck it up” explanation or my Mum would sit there and make it about herself by saying “well, do you know what I’ve been through?”, and, I’ve never mentioned this, but my Mum had a near fatal heart attack a few years ago, which means she has to be careful not to get stressed, take certain medications for the rest of her life, yet constantly starts arguments over things that really aren’t that important along with putting herself in situations where she knows she’s going to be stressed, and then blaming other people for it, and while I am FAR from a perfect child, I don’t see why I should take the blame for my Mum making a mountain out of a molehill) and while I’ve made great strides towards becoming a happier person, I don’t feel like I can do anything more until my parents are out of the picture. I’m just so tired of being told that I should “try more with them” or I should “be patient” or that I should continue being around them. When my Dad threatened to kill me that day, that was the straw on the camel’s back (I already had an extremely weak relationship with my Dad, due to years of emotional abuse prior to that, which I cant say has stopped, now he asks me loaded questions and continues insulting me after he has said to stop a conversation, then comes back and says “I am the parent, if I want to continue the conversation that’s up to ME!”) and I really want nothing to do with them at this point. I realise the issues I have with myself aren’t going to go away as soon as I get rid of my parents, but I really don’t feel like I’m in an environment to work through them. But then, there’s my brothers, who, have done absolutely nothing by the way, and their difficulties aren’t their fault at all, I also feel I will be forcing myself to have a relationship with, but I would feel guilty not speaking to them anymore. I guess what I’m asking is, when do you decide to cut contact with people?