How can I love myself?

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    Dear norit:

    I read a few days ago, a beautiful reply you posted on someone else’s thread. I was very impressed by your sensibility and empathy, kindness and gentleness. I made a mental note to tell you about it next time you write on your thread.

    I don’t think the OP of that thread get back to you regarding your comment (happens to me a lot, doesn’t bother me though).

    If you do comment on other people’s threads, I will read it.



    Dear anita. How have you been? It seems like you are always listening to others talking, is it okay for me to ask you how you’ve doing too.

    I’m very grateful for your message above. I get very nervous responding to other peoples threads, as I have nothing helpful to say. But to know you thought it was empethetic and gentle is very reassuring. Thank you for reading it and telling me.

    In regards to your question in your second to last post, about believing something to be true, did you mean in reference to myself feeling that something is wrong with me? Which turned out to be untrue.


    Ive stumbled upon a dilemma. I went to my first group therapy session, it was fine. The second,I got upset and had to take a moment outside. That’s ok.
    But the kindness and support people were showing each other or myself made me cry even more. And when trying to calm down, trying to be gentle and understanding towards myself. That made me cry even more and I ended up leaving.

    I’m not sure how to get past this crying. Its deseruptive to the group and im so focused on not crying I’m not listening to what’s being said.

    And then in the long run I feel hopeless. What will I do once the group is over? I will receive no more help from my understanding. Im scared to be on my own. Them helping me is the only thing tthats kept me going.


    Dear norit:

    Thank you for asking, norit. I am fine. Sometimes I feel anxious, even as I type this, I feel a bit anxious. I feel tired, looking forward to going to sleep shortly.

    I noticed a couple of days ago you posted a Welcome to two new members, adding a smiley face. How nice of you!

    As to the post from December, I made the point that you can believe something is true about yourself even though it is not. If you believe, for example, that you are less worthy than other people- you may FEEL it is true, but it is not. Truth is you, norit, are no less worthy than ANY other person in the whole world. No one is more worthy than you.

    You crying in group therapy because people show kindness, support and understanding, means to me that you don’t have much experience with kindness, support and understanding outside group therapy.

    I wish you had these things at home and elsewhere. I think that one day you will make a home for yourself where these things will be practiced every day!



    Can you change? Absolutely.

    How can you love yourself?

    * Be gentle with yourself.
    * Recognise that changing, and learning to love yourself, is a process. And that resolving to change and learning to love yourself is the first step.
    * Spend time with the people who you love.
    * Surround yourself with people who make your wellbeing their priority.
    * Don’t be afraid to recognise the things that you do like about yourself.
    * Consider writing a gratitude list.
    * Try to achieve one small thing every day.

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