All those extra letters show up, using my phone and I don’t know why, or how to stop it. Nor will I have access to a laptop for some time.

What I meant is, if I am making sense don’t confess to her, no need to say too much. Just say a bit of what is true to you and listen to her response as someone who is your equal, not someone for you to fix or save or people=please

Maybe it is about bot losing more of yourself in the efforts in trying not to lose another person- Her, inthis case. I am just about to retire for the night

Tell me about this part of yourself that resurfaced with her, and make your answer as long as you can, will you?

Well, is that part of you that you described, is he.. lovable?

That is the part of me that gets activated when in love/infatuation and he is very lovable.

I told her that it could be because of our frequent communication, because of her showing too much love, limerence, adhd hyperfixation/ocd, because i didnt set firm boundaries (which is true), because i was feeling too much and some other things that eventually got her start “hating” our relationship, since she interpreted them as very negative things, so she started disconnecting aswell. I feel like i’ve fractured a good part of our bond and that makes me sad.

I don’t know if that’s possible, since the first one, the intense, is only present because of the dopamine (i guess).
The normal one is good too, but right now it’s the numb/depressed version which im trying desperately to get out of.

I have never done meditation, don’t know how it works.

Hi Confused

Well, you trusted her enough to share some difficult feelings you were exploring. 🩵

Have you told her you shared some things with her whilst you were anxious that you didn’t mean? 🩵

The difficulty being that a lot of negativity can be hurtful in relationships. There is a ratio of 5:1 positive to negative interactions during disagreements and 20:1 positive to negative interactions outside of conflict that is present in healthy relationships.

Relationships can heal from difficulties and grow stronger if you put the effort in. So try to relax and focus on positive interactions now that you’ve got some things off your chest. 🩵

It does sound like you have some anxiety, but a lot of the time our negative thoughts are not true. So it is about staying calm and letting the feeling and thoughts pass without picking at them.

Perhaps there is a feeling that if you go over things that you might be able to fix something? Or try to stop something bad from happening?

What I learned though from my own experiences, is that it only causes suffering in advance as well as any future suffering. It is called catastrophising. 🩵

The more important something seems, the more likely you are to worry about it. So the trick is to deprioritise how important it is. Ah well. Don’t have to fix things today all at once. It will sort itself out in time, with a bit of positive energy. 🩵

Hello Confused:

I am feeling much better this morning, thank you!

“I for sure over analyzed everything because I was panicking… I have huge anxiety”-

What helps me in regard to anxiety is to have a daily routine, doing the same things every day, like participating in tiny buddha every single morning (and evening) as well as taking a long walk every day.

Do you have a daily routine, part of which is some form of physical exercise?

🤍 Anita