No way . a THERAPIST told you to STOP anything.. to stop intellectualizing, she said: “Stop it”?

Good morning, Confused:

You wrote yesterday, “I intellectualize everything, so I don’t have to feel them.”-

Intellectualization means * analyzing emotions instead of experiencing them, * turning feelings into thoughts, * staying in the head to avoid the heart, and * using logic to avoid vulnerability. Emotions feel unsafe; thinking feels safer. It’s a common defense mechanism, a survival strategy. But it also blocks emotional processing and healing.

“I intellectualize everything… therapist pointed it out too, told me to stop it.”-

If the therapist literally said, “stop it,” that would be poor practice. A competent therapist would not simply say “stop it.”

Telling someone with an overthinking or intellectualizing pattern to “stop” is oversimplified, ineffective, dismissive of how the brain actually works, and likely to increase shame rather than help.

A good therapist would help someone notice the pattern, understand why it happens, learn alternative ways to regulate, and build tolerance for feelings.

But… (and you can tell me if it’s true, Confused), you may not have quoted the therapist accurately. For example, a therapist might say: “Let’s try to stay with the feeling instead of analyzing it.”, “See if you can pause the analysis and check in with your body.”, “Try not to intellectualize everything — let’s explore the emotion underneath.”

And you might have translated that internally as: “She told me to stop it.” (especially in a moment when you feel frustrated with yourself).

Or the therapist may have been using a quick phrase like “Catch yourself when you start intellectualizing.”, meaning “Let’s interrupt the pattern and try something different.”. But he/ she (if competent) would never mean: “Just stop overthinking. Problem solved.”

Your thoughts (or better 🙂 your feelings about this)?

🤍 Anita

Oh, so, you felt the pressure to “stop it” and projected it to her? In other words, you thought/ felt “Stop It” and you sort of heard her say it?

[quote quote=454548]Oh, so, you felt the pressure to “stop it” and projected it to her? In other words, you thought/ felt “Stop It” and you sort of heard her say it?[/quote]
Yes kinda like that. I know i have to stop it because it numbs me from feeling anything, but its hard. I know her asking me those questions will possibly lead to me trying to drop the overthinking because i will eventually let go of trying to control

No no he said that IF the compulsions persist he could give me something mild if i want it, but he said that i dont need anything right now from what ive told him.

He said that this feeling of “depression” probably comes because i havent found what i like doing in my life and it is repetitive.

Its a weird situation because one thing drives the other.

Yeah i guess its good.So now i have to see where my fear of closeness comes from.

I think that it’s encouraging that the psychiatrist didn’t see a need for meds. To me, it means that your mental state is not so bad compared to many people the psychiatrist sees. And that comes from a professional 👍

As to where your fear of intimacy comes from, maybe a little writing ✍️ exercise can help?

You may want to write: “I am afraid that (or of)___”, fill in with whatever comes to mind spontaneously, before thinking.

It may work; it may not. And that’s okay. No pressure is key ☺️

🤍 Anita

@anita

Yes it gave me a relief (kinda) that he said that. Also that he suggested i dont need parallel therapy (him and the other therapist im seeing) and i should keep seeing the other one. (the psychologist with the IFS knowledge)

Hmm..I think many words can fit into that.. engulfment/disappointing/responsibility

@thomas
I think i only trust people in superficial things (like cheating, because i cant control it) but idk about the rest. I tend to only use my intellect to read situations and interactions and i thought this was me being “emotionally intelligent” haha. I don’t wanna let it rule but i need to learn how to identify it. Thank you for your reply 🙂