Good morning, Confused:

Yes, I believe that it does. As a child, with a mother like yours, I absorbed the experience that Love= Work, and an unpleasant kind of work (managing, supervising, and in my case, taking abuse).. so why would I be interested in “love” as an adult?

As a teenager and young adult, I was caught between daydreaming about romantic love and not having anything like that at all in real-life. Feeling any measure of real love for another person triggered the memories of the work and abuse I mentioned above (false love), so I lost feelings quickly and withdrew.

Coming to think about it, referring to the title of this thread, I did not “just randomly and suddenly” lost feelings. It was a protective mechanism, protecting myself from “Love”

🤍 Anita

Hey Confused:

I am trying to remember.. I think that I was in a much worse mental state than the one you’re in (a psychiatrist would have definitely prescribed meds for me, lol).

So, best I can figure, looking back, I automatically withdrew. It didn’t take something to happen. There was no relationship, none in-person or LD, so no events within a relationship.

I remember I liked a guy at one point (I was in my very early 20s, I think, not sure), he appeared handsome to me, and suddenly, a few hours later, I couldn’t even recognize him, literally, I couldn’t. He looked like a stranger I never met, and not at all handsome.

You never experienced disorganized attachment to this extreme, did you?

🤍 Anita