Hey Confused:

Your mother’s input regarding her partner was inappropriate. She should have shared those things with another adult, not with a child, and particularly not with her own minor-age son!

Why did this come up with her? I don’t know
Maybe because you felt safer with her for a long time than you did with other romantic interests prior to her.

Yes, you can change internal things about yourself, like core beliefs ( such as what is love, really, true love, that is), and you can change old adaptations (managing other people’s emotions), as well as becoming more authentic. It takes time, persistence, and that thing you mentioned 🙂 patience.

Can you reactivate your feelings for her? I think 🤔 that if the pressure (to manage her feeling, the pressure of feeling responsible for her feelings) alleviates- then your loving feelings for her may return.

What surely doesn’t work is pressure to feel.

🤍 Anita